I love to do a little bit of reflection at year’s end (or, in this case, the year’s beginning), but I don’t make it complicated. Around my house we’ve been using the same two questions for going on two decades to help us take stock of the year gone by.
They are:
- What worked for me last year?
- What didn’t?
Today I’m sharing a few of the things (from significant to shallow) that worked for me in 2023. This was a rough year and one I was more than happy to see out the door, but the list of good stuff I experienced in 2023 is nevertheless long, and I had lots to choose from when contemplating what worked. (I’ll share my list of what didn’t work in the newsletter, same as last year, and the year before that. Sign up here if you’re not on the list.)
I’ve been using these reflection questions for fifteen-ish years now, and blogging about them since 2013. Some things have changed little over the years, while some of my long-ago changes are now thoroughly incorporated into my life, like 2013’s “taking a photography class” and “setting up designated office space for myself.” There’s no going back! Sometimes the things that work are specific to the season, but more often they get folded into my routine way of being in the world. Perhaps this is why the What Worked for Me archives remain entertaining and interesting reading: check out my recent-ish lists from 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, and 2018.)
As you’ll see, some items are serious and some are decidedly less so. They’re not in any particular order; work and personal are intertwined. I hope you enjoy perusing my list, and that it gets you thinking about your own. You know we’d love to hear in comments.
A few tiny organizational things that made a big difference in 2023
Put it in order: I finally lined up my skincare products in order of use (e.g., exfoliator to the left of moisturizer) in my medicine cabinet. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Now I don’t accidentally forget to exfoliate or skip moisturizer before my morning sunscreen.
Pick up thirteen things: I’ve embraced this quick tip I read in Self-Care for People with ADHD: when you know you need to declutter but don’t know where to begin, pick up thirteen things. The “thirteen” is important: it works for me because it’s enough to make a difference, but limited enough that I don’t look up an hour later to discover that decluttering has absorbed all my attention when that wasn’t my intention.
Routinized driving: Will and I realized we spent a lot of time figuring out who is doing various kid-related driving each week, and we finally made a new plan to accommodate the new stage we’re in (which is about to change because we’re about to have another licensed driver in the house). Instead of deciding week by week, we made one-time global decisions, like he drives to theater and I drive to dance. This is a classic Don’t Overthink It move (psst—chapter 8), so I feel like we should have figured this out sooner! But I’m glad we figured it out.
The quick yes
A big part of my job is choosing our monthly book selections for the Modern Mrs Darcy Book Club and working with our team to line up our regular author talks about those books. We hosted magical author talks in 2023, with guests like Brendan Slocumb, Emily Itami, Wiley Cash, Aja Gabel, Erica Bauermeister, translator Tina Kover, Curtis Sittenfeld, Thao Thai … seriously, it was such a good year. I hope we make it look easy, but choosing the books and then getting those author talks lined up is tricky for a variety of reasons: schedules don’t align, calendars are already full, or the public contact info for the author is just plain wrong. That means we always send our author invites out into the universe with a wish and a prayer that we’ll hear back, and—because of the complexity of managing our calendar—that we’ll hear back soon.
But this year, we emailed invitations to several authors to join us in Book Club and they each responded within minutes, with a quick YES (and often a whole bunch of exclamation points). This was such a kindness, and realizing how it felt to receive these emails changed the way I respond to all kinds of emails. Whether it’s a professional invitation or coffee with a friend, I’m increasingly mindful of how nice it is to receive a quick and decisive answer—and if that answer is yes, so much the better.
House stuff
We’ve lived in our home for going on seven years now, and for most of that time our decor has been pretty neutral and all the walls have been white. I cannot explain it, but early this year I suddenly found myself deeply motivated to make some splashy changes, and it has been so much fun to bring those ideas to life.
It started when I fell in love with a bold floral wallpaper that we subsequently hung in our teeny tiny bathroom. (I’m still not quite sure where the confidence came from. Is this 45?) Then we painted a wall bright coral and replaced a discreet chandelier with a statement one. We’ve moved furniture around and hung more art and all of it is making our already-beloved space feel a little more like us.
(UPDATE: I shared a 7-second video of the wallpaper on Instagram.)
Walking
I’ve always loved walking (who else is thinking Elizabeth Bennet right now?) but it took on an outsized importance in 2023. You’ll hear about this more in what didn’t work for me in 2023, but I started the year sick and spent a lot of time on the couch in mid-winter. Come March, exercise was not just something I could do but something I needed to do, and so I started walking—slowly at first, then faster, and longer. It was good for my lungs and my heart but also for my mind and my stress and my Vitamin D levels and—maybe I should have seen this coming—for my audiobook listening, which skyrocketed this year. (Psst—these are my favorite audiobooks of 2023.)
This year I also walked more regularly with friends than I have … maybe ever? While I often meet up at the park with pals to catch up and put in a few miles (or 5-6 with a specific walking enthusiast), this year I suggested meeting for a walk instead of meeting for coffee with far greater regularity, and with a much wider circle of friends and acquaintances. It turns out I’m not the only one who enjoys walking and talking, and I enjoyed connecting with friends new and old on the roads and trails. (Let’s be honest: sometimes we go for coffee after.)
Team blog posts
This year we consciously made the move to feature more blog posts from our team members. I’m so happy with how this played out: you get to see a different side of someone through their writing, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed getting to read about our team members’ literary interests and unexpected favorite things. Just brainstorming possibilities for future posts is a blast. If you’d like to read those team posts (and I hope you do), they most frequently appear as book lists and Raving Fans posts. I also linked here to 2023’s two team-curated editions of Links I Love; we have more of those on the way in 2024!
Soup
Now for the totally prosaic: we have eaten so much soup this year. We have one kid who isn’t really into soup but she went to college this fall, and now it’s all soup, all the time. Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but when we need a hot dinner in 30ish minutes or don’t have those 30 minutes late afternoon or early evening and want to make dinner in advance (in the morning, the day before, the month before because Souper Cubes), soup is the answer. We often serve our soup with grilled cheese, quesadillas, or salad for a more filling meal.
I frequently share recipes we’ve tried and enjoyed in Links I Love and those archives are definitely worth perusing, but I’ll rattle off a few favorites here: Milk Street’s Red Lentil Soup with Aleppo Pepper Olive Oil, NYT Cooking’s Black Lentil Soup with Sausage (gift link; we’ve made the pressure cooker and slow cooker versions and both consistently turn out great), Melissa Clark’s Lemony White Bean Soup with Turkey and Greens (gift link), and Black Bean Chili (as found in this collection of 5 favorite recipes for soup season; we still make all of them regularly).
Trying new things
I tried oysters on the half shell, finally. I took an acting class. We went to Spain! It was a joy to branch out in 2023. I’m already thinking about what I might experiment with in 2024.
I’d love to hear what worked for YOU in 2023, and what didn’t, and why. Tell us all about it in comments.
P.S. I’ll be sharing what DIDN’T work for me in 2023 in the newsletter this weekend. Click here to make sure you’re on the list.
42 comments
Batching & monotasking
Bossing my phone
A kitchen remodel
The joys of Substack
https://lindastoll.substack.com/p/porch-123-what-worked-for-me-in-2023
The power of “unsubscribe”!!! Finally my email inboxes have a very manageable quantity and I don’t get distracted by promotional emails tempting me to spend money I just shouldn’t.
Thanks to a good friend’s recommendation I also banned Instagram and ANY shopping online after 9 pm. This has also been an important rule to curb impulse buying.
This is powerful stuff!
I so enjoy your what worked posts and what didn’t emails! Amen to decisive and timely replies.
Thank you!
– Attending school events in the district I work for – concerts, school plays, etc. It was refreshing to see the students shine in a creative way.
– Volunteering more
– Salads – family-sized, pre-packaged salads with lots of extra ingredients added in
– Visiting little towns with great shops
– Going on a vacation that wasn’t Disney, which is almost unheard of in my family
– Community & regional theaters
– Giving my hair and hair-dryer a break and letting my hair dry naturally more often
What were the little towns with great shops you visited?
I love that wallpaper now you’ve got me thinking about redoing my tiny half Bath. It is a joy to me to do little things for my house that make me love it more even if it is not specifically necessary. And Amen to the Quick decisive reply I was raised thinking that Prevaricating meant less hurt feelings when really it leaves somebody hanging in limbo when you really already know what you want to do.
Sticking to a lovely slow routine each morning, ending in coffee. After 40 years of fast breakfasts and a rush to get to work early, this new routine starts each day with calm.
-checking email with morning coffee, then not checking again until the next morning, unless there is something that requires followup the same day
-groceries on Tuesdays and Fridays. Friday supper is pizza and salad from the grocery store deli.
-efficiency of errands: geographically on the same day
-household work needed more structure, ex when to houseclean, officework, and household projects, so this year I am trying blocking off time in my calendar. Ex. 1-3pm Tuesday, officework. So far, my productivity has increased (that was the goal).
I have a 30 minute time limit for Instagram and Facebook (combined!) and am doing WAY less scrolling. Also wearing a watch has significantly cut down on my scrolling. (check the time and see an email to answer!)
Walking … I shoot for 10,000 steps but accept 8,000 as good enough. Until this year, it was 10,000 steps, no exceptions.
Stacking habits. I walk 2,500 steps each morning, ending in the hot tub (reward!). Started stacking stretching routine in the hot tub last year and this year, added wall push-ups. I can do something new if I sneak it in with what I already do.
Morning Daily Calm and reflective journaling.
My monthly Instagram book reviews, and a few mini posts in between.
Using the library, Kindle specials, and NetGalley to increase my access to great books without breaking the bank.
Will you share your wallpaper link?! It’s gorgeous.
That is a beautiful wallpaper- it brings me so much joy to look at it! Is it a Rifle paper pattern?
We are incorporating more beans and lentils into our meals, sometimes with meat, sometimes without. And I’m cooking more of the beans myself rather than buying cans because it is so easy to do with the quick soak method. It’s cheap, filling and delicious.
Or “pick up 12 things” if you’re superstitious!
– Using the alarm vibrate feature on my watch to wake up…such a gentle way to wake up before my phone alarm across the room goes off.
– Naming Puzzle Season! Doing puzzles in the living room in the winter months while the kids are doing their screen time or watching sports as a family
– Making an effort to get the kitchen/living area cleaned up BEFORE the kids go to bed so I don’t have to spend my alone time cleaning
– Walking/Running outside every morning. So much more motivated to be outside than on the treadmill.
– After trying so many different ways to limit my Instagram use, I finally just gave it up completely. I miss it but the pros outweigh the cons. I still pop in on occasion, like to check out that beautiful wallpaper! Now to tackle Facebook…
You can do it! I quit Facebook on a bit of a whim 5 years ago and I don’t miss it at all (I’ve never been on Instagram either).
One thing I did to lower my social media use on my phone was, I just moved my apps around. This worked really well for me because my apps are all obsessively organized into folders, but if you have a muscle memory of always going to one certain place on your phone to get to Facebook, maybe this will help you to! All I did was put my “Reading” folder of apps where my “Social Media” folder of apps was on my home screen – and then I banished the social media folder to a few pages over. It’s not like I’m saying I can never check those apps, but having to swipe a little extra means I’m only using them with more intentionality. The first few weeks after the switch it was startling to see how much I went to open that folder, only to be presented with all my reading apps instead and think, why was I even going to open Facebook to begin with?? That little jolt made me think about whether or not I really wanted to mindlessly scroll, or do something else. And sometimes I really do want to mindlessly scroll, but it feels better to really be choosing it!
Congratulations on all these great things you found last year that work for you – and good luck on your goals for this one!
We too jumped into wallpaper this year, and one thing that worked for us was just doing one wall. Cheaper and it meant that we could more easily do it ourselves (and we’re still married!), but got the overall wow I wanted. Also, I don’t know how I lived without my Souper Cubes. Now that we’re empty nesting, one pot of soup is often too many leftovers, so these are saving my life. I pop them out to store in labeled gallon bags in the freezer. Just the other day I sent my mom home with 4 kinds of soup for her dinners. I also give them frequently to friends going through a rough time – a few cubes of soup (or a variety), some bread and a salad mix are always welcome. I’m thinking of doing soup cleanout dinner mid-winter: asking some friends over, providing a checklist and they pick which they want to heat up, along with bread and a salad. Easy social event!
Nicole, midwinter soup social dinner sounds divine! As a fan of alliteration, I would want my guests to wear fun socks too! 🙂
Three things that worked for me in 2023:
1. Losing 20 pounds to lower my A1C.
2. Picking up my blog again via Substack.
3. Joining the MDD Book Club! This has single-handedly reinvigorated my reading life.
that wallpaper is everything…
I love that you share your thoughts with us each year and reading the comments.
Here are a few of from my list:
Taking smaller/closer to home weekend trips
Quiet mornings: devotional, journaling and walking before work.
Monthly massage (Taking time for me)
Having our kitchen cabinets painted (House stuff)
I wanted to get outside more in 2023 so I started drinking my morning cup of tea outside. In the summer I would sit outside for ten or twenty minutes, in the winter sometimes only five minutes or less depending on the temperature. In October I was often outside to see the sunrise which was amazing.
You can do it! I quit Facebook on a bit of a whim 5 years ago and I don’t miss it at all (I’ve never been on Instagram either).
I always love these posts. The advice to pick up 13 things is genius. I’ll be giving that a try.
One thing that worked for me this year was to come up with a standard wedding gift. My family loves to play games so our standard gift is a cute wire milk crate from Target filled with board games and card games. We have also thrown in a gift card to a local brewery to give the couple a date night and a fun place to play their games.
The second came from a blogger who suggested that each day, do a search of the photos take on that date – today is January 4th, so I would put 1/4 in the photo search bar. I can scroll through all the pictures from this year and past years taken on the date. Her advice was to keep only the iconic photos. This has been fun looking back at special moments and then deleting extra photos, silly stuff that I no longer need and keeping the best of the best photos!
Please send a HUGE THANK YOU to Shannan for the raving fans post about TUL pens. I love their pencils, but it never occurred to me to look for their pens (why??). Her post had me purchase a pack instantly and they are my new favorite. I dare say I might even use them in my bullet journal in place of the marker pens I’ve been using for literal years.
I second this comment! I also introduced my best friend to the TUL pens, and she loves them, too. AND she bought each of us a multi-pack of all the different colored ones. So looking forward to using all the pretty colors 🙂
Love these pens; thanks Shannan!
Got the Majority of My Happiness Project for 2023 accomplished — lots of cultural events.
Read 127 books
Tried 2 new recipes every month
Got rid of a physician who wasn’t listening to me — who knows my body better? Wasn’t easy to stand up for myself in this instance but I perserved
I kept a gratitude journal. Every night at bedtime I would write 3 things I was grateful for. Some nights it was super difficult, but I found there was always something to be thankful for. Doing this got me thru a major surgery and 2 bouts of extended illness.
– eating the same thing for breakfast everyday (means one less morning decision, and grocery shopping easier!)
– Get Your Pretty On annual subscription – tells me what to wear everyday (another morning decision already made for me!)
– morning reading and journaling time
– getting my office painted in my favorite color!
The most productive thing I did in 2023 (remembering that I am 2 years retired) was to hang a whiteboard in my quilt studio and list planned projects and their iterative stages. It kept me on task, and I finished nine large projects including an auction quilt. A time management thing was to set my phone timer for 5 minutes before I opened IG (I could get lost in quilt posts for hours). I do this several times a day and it has reduced my scrolling markedly. One of the most affirming things I did was to start volunteering in a kindergarten classroom a couple hours per week. What a blast….although I do suspect it is the reason I’ve had several colds already! Finally, I make a list of books from your posts each week and take it with me to the library. I’m much more focused and have read great books this year…….did I mention I also made a quilted bag for my library books 🙂
I love this. I am considering retiring in May and I am so nervous about the idea.
I love your idea about routinized driving. Unfortunately, ours is largely dependent on which of us will be available. My husband gets off at a different time every day (depending on when he finishes his route). I wish we could routinize it, but I don’t know how.
I have “What worked/didn’t work” on the top of my to-do list. I have yet to do it because I can’t come up with anything, or at least not anything that worked. I can’t wrap my head around it, but I like reading other people’s lists.
I also started doing more frequent and long walks over the past year, and it seriously did make a big positive difference. When I had to take a break from being outdoors so much during the summer months because we live in a place where the summer climate can be downright dangerous, I was surprised to find that it seriously impacted my wellbeing. I’ve joined a hiking group this year with the intention of going for more rigorous walks in new places, but I’m still trying to plan ahead and figure out how to handle being trapped indoors when the hot weather takes over.
Happy New Year, and good luck for 2024!
I really enjoy your posts on what works and what didn’t work. I’m going to start picking up thirteen things. That sounds like a great idea. Thank you Anne
-Getting an Apple Watch! Love tracking my sleep and activity and making goals around that.
-Joined a gym! And I now save my audiobooks for workout time. I look so forward to pressing play when I open the gym door. Motivating.
Gorgeous wallpaper! Can you share the source? Love your posts always, especially this one!
I stopped Facebook about 5 yrs. ago. I was never on instagram. I do NOT miss FB at all. I can think of alot better things to do w/ that time! Like read! People’s lives were ALWAYS happy, interesting, go,go,go,all smiles. Pretty unrealistic and USED to make me wonder what was wrong w/me, when on FB. Of course they only post the good things! 😋😂