What worked for me in 2022

I love to do a little bit of reflection at year’s end (or, in this case, the year’s beginning), but I don’t make it complicated. Around my house we’ve been using the same two questions for over a decade to help us take stock of the year gone by.

They are:

What worked for me last year?
What didn’t?

Today I’m sharing a few of the things (from significant to shallow) that worked for me in 2022, which was another rough year, but not without its bright spots. (I’ll share my list of what didn’t work in the newsletter, same as last year, and the year before that. Sign up here if you’re not on the list.)

I’ve been using these reflection questions for fifteen-ish years now, and blogging about them since 2013. Some things have changed little over the years, while some of my long-ago changes are now thoroughly incorporated into my life. (For example, 2013’s “taking a photography class” and “setting up designated office space for myself.”)

I’ve learned so much over the course of doing this for many years, and have accumulated a vast array of things that continue to work well in my life. This is undeniably a good thing, and also a bit of a blogging challenge: I want to write about the new, not the same old (and incredibly important) things year after year! Of course good sleep and exercise continue to be crucial, and I still love that Will remains on Team Decaf, and my family is still puzzling up a storm. (Perhaps this is why the What Worked for Me archives remain entertaining and interesting reading: check out my recent lists from 2021, 2020, 2019, and 2018.)

But this year, more than ever, I kept an eye out for the unexpected, whether they seemed significant and lofty or incredibly prosaic. If there’s one thing I’ve learned after doing this exercise for years: serious or silly, it’s all fun—and often, strangely profound—to notice.

Hair masks

Modern Mrs Darcy is a place where we value great books and great mascara, so let’s start with the quotidian. Which isn’t to say it’s a small thing, because when I can find solutions that make hair care simpler and more pleasant, every day is a little bit easier.

I’ve had hair masks in my bathroom drawer for years, but this year I finally started using them—and they’ve made such a huge difference! I don’t think they make my hair look different, but they do make it faster and easier to style.

The one I use most regularly are my customized pre-shampoo mask from Prose and the K18 leave-in molecular repair hair mask, which I use sparingly according to the package directions. I also like the Olaplex Hair Perfector (No. 3), but I haven’t used it as often this year. (My bathroom drawers have gotten too full, so I’m trying to use more products all the way up to make space. The Olaplex will get its turn soon!)

Finding the right fit in therapy

Therapy feels quite different from hair products—but in both cases, it was all about finding the right fit. Several of my family members switched therapists this year (sometimes more than once), and in every instance the change has been unspeakably good.

Finding the right professional is a total pain. It takes research and a lot of trial and error to find the provider who gets you, understands what needs to be done, and has the skills to do it. But once you find the right person, it feels so worth it.

Therapy is all about good foundations, which brings us to …

Creating (outdoor) space

In 2022 Will and I finished a project we’ve been kicking around for YEARS: we’ve enjoyed a nice backyard since we moved to our current home nearly six (!!!) years ago, but there wasn’t really any place to be in it. No obvious place to lounge or linger, to enjoy a good book on a sunny afternoon or eat dinner with the family or have drinks with friends on a cool autumn night.

We changed that this year. In 2021, we made a plan, and by late summer 2022, we finally had our outdoor space. First the stone was laid, and then we did the tedious work of finding practical and comfy furniture to create what basically feels like an outdoor living room.

Longtime readers know I’m an urban planning and design nerd. I thought about A Pattern Language often during this project; I theoretically understand why defining an outdoor space makes it feel inviting. But I’ve still been surprised at just how great this simple change has been. Now, when it’s even a little bit pleasant out, Will and I head outside to drink our coffee, work, eat dinner, you name it. The kids love it, too, whether they’re doing their homework, listening to music, or hanging with friends. I can’t wait for spring to come so we can head back outside again. (We found some killer comfy outdoor seating but still need a nice coffee table and some new dining options, so if you have any you love, tell me in comments?)

Getting the right tools for the job

Speaking of a solid foundation: this year we repaired or replaced a few kitchen tools that we use practically every day, and it has made such a big difference. The biggest payoff has come from replacing our twenty year-old chef’s knife. It’s probably been dull for years and I just didn’t realize it until this fall, when I noticed that I was dreading what the fairly routine task of chopping onion.

Some knives are meant to last a lifetime, but our two decades-old knife was NOT—and replacing it (with this model) makes the daily chore of making dinner so much more pleasant. We also replaced our much-loved and worn-out nonstick skillet, sharpened up our paring knives, and added a few serrated knives to our arsenal. Because we have a big family of two adults and four kids we cook nearly every day; it’s nice to have the right tools for the job.

The right tools, part 2

Speaking of the right tools for the job: I am not a linear thinker, but this year I’ve found myself creating more spreadsheets than I ever have before to organize the scads of information I want to easily scan, reference, and sort. Spreadsheets have never been my go-to … until 2022.

As you can imagine, books and book-related info feature prominently in these spreadsheets. Between the Modern Mrs Darcy blog, the MMD Book Club, the What Should I Read Next podcast, and our WSIRN patreon, I have so many ideas, and so much interesting data, to keep straight!

My reading life

I read fewer books in 2022 than I did in the two years prior, and I think that’s a good thing. Three more things that are working: reading on the kindle, my reading journal, and stories about complex family relationships. I talk about all this more in the new episode of What Should I Read Next: Anne’s best books of 2022.

Coffee shop work

I can’t believe I’m sharing this as a new thing, because, pre-pandemic, I worked in coffee shops several times per week. I’ve written whole books in coffee shops! But not recently.

However, in 2022, I rediscovered—or perhaps, simply remembered—the focusing power of getting out of the house (and away from all the related distractions) and into an inviting space where I can focus on one dedicated project. Sure, this worked well for work (I’ve written plenty of blog posts like this one in coffee shops this year) but it also worked great for personal projects, and not just my own. My kids enjoy coffee shop work for similar reasons, and together we logged dozens of hours at our local establishments working side by side or collaboratively on reading deadlines, big-deal essays, and applications for colleges, scholarships, and special programs.

More outdoor spaces

This year the city installed a tiny new sidewalk in my neighborhood. It’s just one block long, but it connects two of my favorite places to walk and it’s made a profound difference in my everyday life. It may not sound like a big deal, but I am still actively grateful for it five days a week.

Great people

My amazing team, smart and generous colleagues, friends who helped keep my world intact. I couldn’t have made it through 2022 without them. (What also worked: the voxer app, again, which helped me connect with all of the above even during the most hectic times.

I’d love to hear what worked for YOU in 2022, and what didn’t, and why. Tell us all about it in comments.

P.S. I’ll be sharing what DIDN’T work for me in 2022 in the newsletter this weekend. Click here to make sure you’re on the list.