A couple of years ago, I was honored to kick off the team’s Books That Shaped Me series with the books that shaped me from my childhood to 30 years old. Today, I am back with books that shaped me in the past fifteen years from age 31 to 45. (I am 46). Selecting these reads was difficult, but I loved the process of looking back and seeing how these selections compared and differed from the books featured in Part 1.

After graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in English and Communicative Arts, I was burnt out on reading and read very little from my mid-twenties to my early thirties. Then I found Anne and the Modern Mrs Darcy blog and my love of reading was reignited. She exposed me to new books, genres, and authors and I began to read more widely than I ever had before, specifically the wonderful world of fiction which was restricted when I was growing up.

My early reading years cracked the door into seeing the world differently and how essential it is to appreciate different peoples, cultures, and their understanding of the world. The current state of our world has only reinforced this necessity and I continue to read to learn. I also read more for escape than I did before. Not to imagine a different life for myself, but to escape the stressful realities of my current existence: a child, aging parents, recovering from trauma, and that aforementioned state of the world.

They say a woman’s thirties are all about discovering what really works and her forties are about no longer worrying what other people think. My selections helped me discover what worked for me practically and focus on what matters in all areas of my life, while continually inviting me to rethink what I once believed and be gentle with myself throughout the process. The Buddy Man took a third of my brain capacity and half of my attention span from me when he came into the world—a phenomena I hear from plenty of moms everywhere. It is no surprise to me that many of these selections are short.

Here are seven books that shaped me from age 30 to 45.

The books that shaped Shannan, part 2

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A Psalm for the Wild-Built

Author: Becky Chambers

I have waxed ineloquent about this tiny volume across MMD Land since its release in 2020. A monk travels his world serving tea to tired members of his community, and his experiences with a robot allows him to question his need for meaning in the world. It warms my heart every time I read it and I reread it often. In one of our many conversations, Anne pointed out to me that my favorite childhood read, Little Pilgrim’s Progress by Helen Baylor introduced me to gentle scifi/fantasy and this book cemented my love for the genre. More info →

How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing

Author: KC Davis

I have discussed this book at length across MMD Land, including in Books I reach for during SAD season. This is the ONLY book that instantly and completely changed my mindset and habits with one read. I used to clean my entire house every Friday, no exceptions! I dreaded it weekly. This short volume of 150 pages encouraged me to focus instead on the functionality of a space, not the cleanliness of the space. If a space is no longer functioning for me and my family, then it is time to reset it. I also appreciate that Davis encourages you to skip around the book as needed; no need to read all 150 pages. More info →

The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms

Author: Danielle LaPorte

My conservative upbringing caused me to feel uncomfortable with Danielle’s “new age” vibes but this practical guide to creating success on my own terms appealed enough for me to pick it up. In Session 3: The Strategy of Desire, she introduced the concept of Core Desired Feelings: unique feelings we have been chasing since childhood. Her hypothesis is that everything we do (our careers, who we love, how we move through the world), we do to feel a certain way. I started thinking about how I wanted to feel in my working life and decided to pursue my personal interests as a career. One of the reasons I am writing this blog post is because of this book and I can confidently say that it would not have happened without Danielle. More info →

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Author: Marie Kondo

I first read this in 2015 and frankly was too scared to implement the KonMari method: a process for creating order which Marie insists will dramatically and magically change ALL areas of your life. It wasn’t until early 2019 after a particularly low period that I thought I could use a little bit of magic. Further inspired by her Netflix show Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, I began the process of going through her categories and keeping things that sparked joy. It worked. I’m now merciless when it comes to what I bring into my home and I curate often. And the magic? That worked too. The same day after tidying my papers, I received an email accepting my submission and inviting me to be on the What Should I Read Next? podcast. That invite opened the door to being part of the MMD team and the rest is history. More info →

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Author: Ramit Sethi

I have been in consumer debt off and on my entire adult life and after getting out again in 2024, I knew something had to change. Anne had mentioned the book before in MMD Land but it wasn’t until I watched Ramit’s Netflix show How to Get Rich that I was inspired to pick it up. Between the show, the book, and his podcast of over 265 episodes that I binge listened, I am slowly and methodically changing my money psychology. Ramit says that we should spend extravagantly on what matters and cut mercilessly on what does not. I have found this applies to more than just money. More info →

Circe

Author: Madeline Miller

I first began noticing the perspective of the storyteller and author with Indian Captive: The Story of Mary Jamison by Lois Lenski, but it was cemented with this retelling of the Greek myth. Circe, a minor Greek goddess or witch who turns men into pigs, tells her eye-opening story in first person. I have not read anything (particularly a myth or legend) the same way again! Circe led me to ask these questions when I am reading: (1) who is telling the story? (2) what biases might they bring to the story? and (3) who and what perspectives are missing? These questions have changed how I view the world. Side note: If you struggle with getting into fantasy reads but still want to try them, retellings are a great entry point. (Content warnings apply.) More info →

Reasons to Stay Alive

Author: Matt Haig

Besides my annual seasonal affective disorder, I’ve also experienced a few major depressive episodes in the past fifteen years, including postpartum depression after the Buddy Man arrived in 2014. I discovered Haig through his novel The Midnight Library. His conversation around depression and mental health intrigued me. Haig writes both fiction and nonfiction on this theme, most of which I have read. During one of my darkest periods in 2021, I read this small volume. Now, I pick it up every time I am feeling particularly low to remind myself that “depression lies”. More info →

Have you noticed any books that have influenced you over the past decade or so? What are they? Tell me in the comments.

P.S. Check out our team’s The books that shaped me series.

About the author

Shannan Malone is our MMD Cohost and What Should I Read Next? Patreon Community Manager. Her go-to genre depends on her mood! You can find Shannan on Instagram @shannanenjoyslife.