A sad note about our pup.

A sad note about our pup.

This wasn’t the post I was planning on writing today.

We found out last night that Bingley, our little lab/terrier puppy, died in an accident while we were away on vacation.

He just got him on June 30, when he was estimated to be between 5 and 7 weeks old and looked just like the poky little puppy.

He was growing so fast: he weighed 8 pounds when we got him, he was 12 at his last checkup, and we couldn’t wait to see how much he’d grown while we were away.

Our longtime family dog died just a few weeks before we got Bingley. We didn’t mean to get a dog so soon: we weren’t looking for a puppy yet. He found us.

When Harriet died, we were devastated. But we at least understood; the kids understood. She was old, she was sick, she’d had a good, long, life. Circle of life, etcetera.

This is a different kind of grief.

Because I’ve talked about Bingley here—and the unexpectedly complex web of emotions he generated—I wanted you to know.

I’m grieving on two levels: for myself, and for my heartbroken kids. Unexpected loss is very much a part of life, sadly, but it hasn’t been part of their lives, and I don’t know how to help them process it. If you have advice or resources to share, I’m listening (even though I probably won’t be interacting with comments today). Thanks in advance.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestEmail this to someonePrint this page

155 comments

  1. Ashley Moore says:

    So sorry. 🙁 We had something similar happen a few weeks ago with a kitten that adopted us. She was just perfect for our family after the loss of an old kitty earlier this year, and then she was gone in a terrible accident with a van. Such a sad thing.

  2. Laura says:

    So sorry for your loss. Every day of little Bingley’s life, you loved him and he loved you right back. Hurting for your kids!

  3. mrsdkmiller says:

    Although I read your blog every day and don’t comment, this post compels a response. I am so sorry, especially for the unexpectedness of the loss. Only dog companions elicit this strange emotion between love as to a friend and delight as to a child and to lose such a companion just as the relationship was developing is particularly hard. May you and your family find happy memories and confidence to start again.

  4. Abbie Burch says:

    I am terribly sorry to hear about Bingley. We get so attached to our pets, and the grief we feel when we lose one can be devastating. My condolences.

  5. Lisa says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss of precious Bingley, Anne! How difficult this must be for you and your husband to process and deal with this yourselves, much less comfort your children in their grief. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Jess says:

      I second this recommendation. When I was an elementary school counselor, I used this book to discuss grief. I’ve also heard The Invisible String is good. Condolences to your family.

  6. Sherry says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a puppy is a very different grief. It’s much harder to process than losing a dog to illness or old age. I still tear up thinking of our little Max who was only 5 months old when he died. It’s been 7 years. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  7. Amy O'Quinn says:

    I am very sorry about Bingley…he was a handsome pup! And it looked like he had lots of personality. This happened to us recently too, and it was terrible. Pets definitely have a way of sneaking in (often when we least expect it) and putting a great big paw print on our hearts and in our lives. Thinking of you and your family today.

  8. Andrea F says:

    I cried when I read this. Puppies and the dreams we have for them are so exciting and when the dream dies to soon, it is heartbreaking. When our dog died my kids were devastated. We eventually got to the point of understanding that to love our dog was worth the pain of having to say goodbye. I pray you and yours find that same understanding

  9. Laurie says:

    I’m another reader who never comments, but I feel compelled to this time. Anne, I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss. Bingley was a beautiful, sweet pup and he is gone far too soon. My deepest sympathies.

  10. Laurie says:

    Just prayed for your family and for the caretaker of Bingley; prayed especially for wisdom for you as you work through the hard emotions of your children- normal grief, sadness, and anger, and praying against any root of bitterness toward the caretaker. It is so hard when our children have to learn the lessons of forgiveness and grace of this magnitude so early in life. I will continue to pray.

  11. Bekki says:

    Oh, that is so sad and hard! Praying for comfort and wisdom for you and your family as you grieve. “The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love:it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs.” ~Dr. Colin Murray Parkes

  12. Teresa says:

    I am so sorry! I am finding it hard enough in my family to figure out when age and infirmity make it necessary for me to make that hard decision with our cat. A sudden early loss is so much harder. My suggestion for your kids is probably what you are already doing: Talk about how sad you all are, what you loved so much about Bingley, and, eventually, how glad you are for having loved him. You made his life a joy and he gave that joy right back.

  13. Mary Ann HT says:

    I don’t usually leave comments, but I know the pain of losing a loved companion. Please take some comfort from knowing you gave the little guy a wonderful love-filled life in his short stay in this world–who knows, perhaps that is why he found his way into your lives. I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

  14. Sara K. says:

    I am so very sorry for your whole family. The loss of a pet is always hard, but a sudden loss of such a sweet puppy I just can’t imagine. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  15. liz n. says:

    Having been through this with my kids, I know what you’re all going through, and can only offer my condolences. How heartbreaking for you all.

  16. Melinda says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. He was a handsome guy, and knew nothing in his life other than love from your family. For that, he was truly blessed.

  17. Desiree says:

    Anne,
    I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine. We had some baby chicks pass tragically at the hands of one of our dogs this spring and explaining it to my older two kiddos was hard. I found the chicks and was overwhelmed with emotion, my kids couldn’t understand why I was crying and I had to dig deep to explain death in a way that they could understand. The best I could come up with was that God needed them in heaven. We buried them under a big tree in our yard and said a short prayer. They were just baby chicks, and I’m certain when the time comes for one of our dogs I will be at a loss. I hope you find comfort in the happy memories of Bingley’s time with your family. You are in my thoughts.

  18. Penny Crawford says:

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you and your family for comfort, wisdom, and eventually peace. The sudden loss of a pet is very hard to bear. Hugs and prayers!

  19. Jesabes says:

    I’m so sorry! We once had a dog run away while we were on vacation. We never found him and, due to our area and the weather, assumed he died. It was terrible!

  20. Anne, I have no words of advice, but know that I am praying for you and your family. This is tough, and it’s one of those things we can’t understand–why should a puppy die? But hold fast to God’s promises that he does bring good in everything–even if we never see it–and that he understands our griefs and sorrows.

    I have not lost a pet but I would be heartbroken if my kitty died. Hugs and love to you all.

  21. Tina says:

    I am so sorry! I worked in a homeless shelter with at -risk children. There is a children’s book for ages 4 – 8 titled: A TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED. by Margaret H. Holmes Illustrated by Cary Pillo (2000 by Magination Press). It is nice because the “terrible thing” is not specific, Check it out – there is a page in the back of the book for parents and caregivers. Also, I don’t want to be insensitive because on page 8 of the book the Sherman takes his dog for a walk to try and forget about the “terrible thing”. Also, the book is written as if the child witnessed the “terrible thing” but I think the book still works – even if they didn’t witness the accident. If you look at this on Amazon – other books dealing with trauma happening to children will also pop up …..and you may find another resource. Sending hugs and prayers. ((((( hugs))))

  22. Anita says:

    My heart is breaking for you and your family. Not only did he bring joy to your life, but you brought joy to his too. I hope you can find comfort knowing that you made his life happy too.

  23. Heather says:

    So, so sorry, Anne, for you and your family. This is a very real grief, and to lose two beloved pets so quickly is super hard. With great compassion as a mom of grown children who loved and lost many a kitty and dog, I will say that unexpected grief will not wait until your kids are old enough to bear it. But when loving parents bring their children through such experiences, those kids will be mighty strong adults.

  24. Greg says:

    Another reader who never comments until now. Grief processing is not my long suit, but I understand the need in others, especially children and their pets. Take the time to grieve with your children and help them process it as best you can. Death of a loved one (human or animal) is always a hard life lesson, but better one learned early than later and in the comfort of a parent’s embrace.

  25. Pam says:

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Bingley. I highly recommend the book “Dog Heaven” by Cynthia Rylant.

  26. Oh I’m so sad and sorry. The book: When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses by John W. James , Russell Friedman, and Leslie Matthews, might be helpful.

  27. KateC says:

    Mr. Rogers has a great book called “When a Pet Dies.” It talks about different situations (no accident, but not just old pets), and all of the different feelings that people may have. We read it to our son when our dog was hit by a car and I think we all found it helpful. I am very sorry for your loss – he sure was a cutey who no doubt brought you lots of joy in his little bit of time with you.

  28. Robin Glossner says:

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I have no words of comfort or advice, except to take the time that you and your family need to process this.

  29. Allison says:

    SO very sorry Anne! My heart goes out to you and your family. Love and hugs and to all of you from me. Love in Jesus ~~ Allison

  30. Faith says:

    When my aunt’s family lost a pet, she would hold a little funeral service. It was a formal way of laying to rest their pet, and it let the kids process and share their feelings. I know some may find it corny, but the kids seemed to find some closure with the formality of a service.

  31. Nancy Kvorka says:

    I am so sorry to read this, very sad. Any book on dealing with grief has always helped me in the past on losing a companion dog including the ones mentioned. And this poem: https://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm. We have also done memorial web sites when we have lost a dog in the past. My thoughts are with you.

  32. I am so, so terribly sorry for your losses and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Losing a pet is already so sad, but the accident makes it so sudden and devastating after you had already reopened your heart to this sweet little creature. I pray you and your family find solace in the happy memories you had with your pups and can be grateful for the time (albeit brief) that you got to share in eachother’s lives and light.

  33. Rebecca says:

    Oh that is so sad. My condolences. I don’t know if it will help, but I’ve always believed pets go to heaven, because that’s how the God I know and love rolls, and I’ve told my kids that.

  34. Leslie says:

    First, I am so sorry. Little Bingley, short as his life turned out to be, was a gift. Happy times, and learning times with the little guy…And now more learning, and not what you expected. Hard as it is, I suggest that you, together, put away Bingley’s things, and say goodbye to him, and make an ending. I think a good gift you can give your children is to help them to not fear grief, to know that life will have its times of deep sadness, and know that it must be dealt with. You will get through. I wish I had understood that much sooner in my own life! I had the expectation that if life was good, it would never hurt. I wasted a lot of time and energy, freaking out that something bad had happened, instead of using that to find my way through grief and sadness.
    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. A similar thing happened to me when on vacation…In that case, my young adult kids were home, and had to deal with the accident and calling their mom to tell her that her canine companion was gone. It was terrible — and I was proud of them for handling the terrible thing. It was a situation I would normally have protected them from…In the end, they were stronger for having handled it. I’m sure your kids will also be stronger, wiser, and even more tender because of this unexpected hurt.

  35. Elizabeth says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.
    This is a link to a free story from Sparkle Stories (Do you know them? They are fantastic.) about the sudden loss of a pet.
    http://www.sparklestories.com/blog/2013/04/16/tell-your-children-a-different-story/
    I’ve found these stories to be remarkably helpful both in giving me a framework — and language — and in helping small ones. This story might be too directly equivalent to your situation to be comfortable at first. They also have an audio book of stories to help children process grief, although that is for purchase.
    Wishing you peace –

  36. Jensen says:

    Anne I am so sorry. What a terribly sad thing for you and your family to go through. As someone with a lot of siblings who have loved and lost a lot of dogs the only advice I can give is to feel what you feel. When you feel like crying, cry. When you feel like being alone, be alone. The pain does go away after awhile thankfully, especially when we allow ourselves to dwell in our emotions.

  37. Melissa S says:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. We lost two pups within 11 months of each other; one from a ruptured disk and another to lymphoma. One was only 5 years and the other 6 years. It is very difficult to lose a beloved family member. We do not have children, but Mr. Rogers wrote a book about pet’s dying (amazon: http://www.amazon.com/When-Pet-Dies-Fred-Rogers/dp/0698116666/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439826009&sr=8-1&keywords=dogs+die). Also, for me, I read a book of poems called Dog Songs (http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Songs-Mary-Oliver-ebook/dp/B00C5R79MI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1439826203&sr=1-1&keywords=dog+songs).
    Praying for you and your family.

  38. trish says:

    We had a similar experience. Our beloved dog Hank died in an accident while boarding at our vet’s office. We adopted a puppy from the pound a few weeks after getting home from our vacation, but sadly sweet Huckleberry came to us with distemper and died after a month of trying to treat her. It was a heartbreaking time for our family- my children still get weepy when we talk about that summer. We waited a few months and opened our heart to another puppy, and, four years later, we love precious Perry like we did the others. We are still nervous when we go on vacation, and she will never replace our other dogs, but she is family and we are smitten with her!

    • Meg says:

      Oh gosh, I am so sorry for your multiple losses! Life can be SO cruel at times. Your post caught my eye because we also had a wonderful Lab named Hank, who we lost to Lymphoma 6 weeks ago. I think it’s such an awesome name for a dog!! Glad to hear you found love again with Perry! Best wishes…

  39. Tori says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to understand why these things happen. But you gave Bingley a good, loving home for his short life. I hope you can take some comfort from that.

  40. i’m so sorry to read this today! losing a pet is so hard especially in accidental circumstances. i lost a cat that way almost 18 years ago, and it is still a little rough if i think about him too much. 🙁 pets are such an important part of our lives!

  41. Jo says:

    Two books helped me when we had to put our beloved basset mix Bessie to sleep 5 years ago: Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates by Gary Kurz, and C.S. Lewis’s The Problem of Pain. My heart is breaking for you and your children.

  42. Stacey says:

    I am so, so sorry. We lost our first dog to bloat when we were away on vacation four years ago. We go on the same trip each year, I feel anxious most of the time until we get back and can give our dog a big hug. Leaving a healthy dog and coming home to no dog is just a terrible experience. It was completely devastating. Please know that you will be in our thoughts.

  43. Marne says:

    Anne
    I have no words of comfort, only validation. To give your heart so reluctantly, only to have it swiftly broken, is cruel. You are right to feel stunned and wordless.

    My friends (fellow Mommas to furry kids) have a book we pass around. “Dog Heaven” by Cynthia Rylant. Each time one of us lose a pup, we mail the book to them. She writes the pup’s name inside the cover, and holds onto it until it is needed again. It is a sweet, simple book.

    http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439829049&sr=8-1&keywords=dog+heaven

  44. Becky says:

    We lost a pet when my children were younger. I got the dreaded “do dogs go to heaven?” question. Here is what I told my kids. “God has promised that there will be no tears in heaven. If it would make you sad to not have your dog in heaven, then you will see your dog.” It really helped my kids. And I believe it is true. Though maybe not in the most obvious way.

  45. Bonnie says:

    This is so sad on several levels. I’m struck by the fact that so few of us have suggestions, only sympathy. And I’m also thinking about whoever was caring for a ingles and what they must be going through, too. Prayers for all of you. This is a toughie.

  46. Jennifer says:

    Oh Anne, I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. At least you can take comfort knowing that you gave Bingley lots of love and a good home during his stay with you. Prayers for you and your children as you grieve.

  47. Kristin says:

    Oh Anne, I’m so sorry. I wish I had a magic bit of advice that could make this time easier, but know you will all work through this in your own ways, together. I’ll be thinking of you <3

  48. Trude says:

    I am so, so sorry to hear this! The best thing for our family was to keep an open dialogue about it, and for everyone to know that whatever they’re feeling is okay – which I’m sure you guys are doing. Big hugs.

  49. Ellen says:

    We lost our corgi, Jasper, when he was just four and in the prime of life, to a sudden illness last year. Even our vet was shocked. We, too, had recently lost our first dog, Lily; but she had lived a good, long life. Jasper’s death was inexplicable to us. It still is. I am so sorry for your loss of precious Bingley.

  50. Heather says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Bingley :(. Thanks for sharing the news with us during this difficult time. My sympathies to you and your family.

  51. Leah says:

    I am so very sorry to hear about your dog. Our pets are such a precious part of our lives. It’s always a tragedy when when they leave us. My thoughts are with you.

  52. Gillian says:

    I am so sorry! Loosing pets unexpectedly, before it was ‘their’ time, is the worst. I don’t really have much for advice, I grew up a country kid and and had to deal with loosing beloved pets at a very young age. I don’t think there’s a lot that you can say, sometimes life is just sad and confusing, and that’s a lesson worth learning, too.

    One thing my mom always tried to have us focus on was the fact that, at least, we’d given the animal the best we could. We’d loved it, played with it, taken care of it. She’d also tell us that animals don’t have a concept of time like we do…they don’t know that their life was taken early. As long as they are comfortable, and happy, and cared for, pets don’t realize things beyond that. So from Bingley’s eyes, I’m sure he still had a very great life your family.

    Hope that helps! Thinking of you, loosing pets isn’t easy.

  53. Michelle says:

    Try the picture book Dog Heaven. We used it with our kiddos and even read it alud at the memorial we held. So sorry

  54. Deb says:

    I’m so terribly sorry. Sad to say this happened with a puppy of ours after we had her for two weeks. We had already fallen love with her & we were devastated. I am praying for you & yours.

  55. Debbie Fitch says:

    So sorry for your family’s loss. I have read the book by Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood) When A Pet Dies. He always deals with everything with intelligence, honesty, and sensitivity. I believe it is available on Amazon. Again, I’m so sad to hear of your puppy’s passing.

  56. Meg says:

    Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. You’ve certainly had more than your fair share of grief this summer. How are your kids holding up? I am trying to understand what kind of an accident could take the life of a puppy…heartbreaking! Again, I am so very sorry to hear this.

  57. Claire says:

    I’m so very sorry. He looked like he could be our puppy’s younger brother, so I loved reading about him and seeing his cuteness in my Instagram feed. Praying that your hurting hearts are comforted.

  58. Mary says:

    So very, very sorry for you and your family. It is SO heartbreaking; Bingley is such a sweet little guy. My advice is to go out and get another dog. It may sound cold, it may sound callous, but I truly think that a beautiful way to honor all of you is to open your hearts to one of the thousands of puppies looking for a loving home. It will help heal your hearts, fill your home with happiness again, and honor Bingley and Harriet. xo

  59. Paula C says:

    Just so very sorry and thinking of you and your family…. May something better come out of this for all of you. Hugs..

  60. Michele says:

    Anne, I am so sorry your family has to grieve the loss of another pet. Will keep everyone in my prayers.

    Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. Their site is http://www.aplb.org/

    Also the book Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen is about grief and written for children.

    God bless you and your family.

  61. Hope says:

    I am so sorry about your family’s loss. He seemed like a cute pup and I enjoyed hearing about him. I know that it is harder because of the unexpected nature of his passing. I hope that you remember the good times with him.

  62. Ann says:

    I’ve been thinking about your post all day. My two girls and I prayed for your family. Having just come back from vacation to our beloved cats, your experience is touching a nerve for all of us. We are grieving with you and praying for deep, sustaining comfort in the midst of your loss.

    I feel a little shy about this, but let me offer a post I recently wrote on our little family blog about grief lessons we learned through reading “Kildeer House” by Rutherford Montgomery. It is a completely different situation, experiencing grief through a story, but perhaps it will offer some measure of comfort to you.

    http://boydsnest.org/news/2015/life-lessons-through-literature-grieving-a-raccoon/

    blessings to you all,
    ann

  63. Brianna says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a puppy is a such a heart breaking experience. I’ve had to endure that pain myself and there are no words I can give that will make the healing faster for you. Simply grieve at your own pace and in your own way. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May God surround you with his comfort during this time.

  64. Terri says:

    I join with the others in expressing my sadness over the loss of your Bingley. When my children were younger we lost a few pets. I echo the thoughts of those who recommend reading books to your children. I also believe in the power of writing. Maybe your kids could write a cute story about Bingley, or draw a picture. You could compile it into a book that they could look out. It can be as simple or involved as you and your children like. It might be a good idea to let each of them pick a picture of Bingley that they like and can put in their room or to carry with them. Also sharing your feelings about Bingley, both grief and happiness, will help them to understand how grief is handled. And, of course, letting them talk to you about their feelings when they want. I know that you will be very good with them and yourself. God bless.

  65. Kelli says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Anne. I saw your message before I even got out of bed this morning and have been trying not to be sad about it all day long. It’s heartbreaking that such a wonderful little guy is no longer there. But maybe it was taking him out before some other worse thing would have happened, so you are left with only the happy memories and remembrance of him. And he was blessed to have such a happy life with a loving family. In any case, it’s never easy and I feel for your family.

  66. Vanessa says:

    Oh Geez, how completely unexpected! I don’t know what happened, don’t need to, but whoever was taking care of him probably feels pretty awful about it. I’m sorry for them as well.

  67. Marlizette De Kock says:

    Oh no Anne, that is so incredibly sad!! He was such a beautiful pup and for him to be taken away so soon, especially after it seemed that fate brought him to you, is just heartbreaking! :-‘( You have my innermost sympathy and I pray that your broken hearts will heal with time

  68. Page Inman says:

    You can also read The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia. It explains that death is something not to be feared, but natural and happens to everyone and everything.

  69. Cori says:

    Anne,
    First, no need to respond. I know you are getting lots of comments. I am truly sad for you and your family. A pet is a family member and it is not easy to lose one under any circumstances. It is funny how blogs can make you feel like someone is part of your life. Despite minimal direct contact, you get to know people and their feelings can become yours. I have enjoyed your blog tremendously and some of your posts have been such lovely and unexpected gifts. Here is a little gift for you and your family. Perhaps you have read it before, but if not, it is a sweet poem you may choose to share with your kiddos.

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

  70. Veronica says:

    I am so sorry. Our family has lost many pets over the years and it is never easy. Honoring their memory is important to us. As most of our dogs, cats, etc have been rescues when we are ready, we adopt another one. We also have adopted some through fostering. We’ve had some amazing animals over the years, and I think rescuing is in honor of them.

  71. Coriander says:

    I’m very sorry for you and your family, how sad to lose an old dog friend and then a new one.
    We have mourned the loss of our two long-lived and well-loved cats who died only six months apart, with our young children. We’ve talked to our kids about the kitties whenever they want to, encouraged them to think of the good times we had together, the things we loved about them, their naughty kitty habits that made us laugh, how they looked, how soft their fur was, but only for a little while at a time to teach what I consider useful compartmentalizing, being sad when you need to for a time, then thinking of other things, not to prevent or stop one from being sad altogether, but to parse it out a bit so that being totally overwhelmed by the grief happens less often. This is a gentle encouragement, not a strict thing. It is more than a year and a half since the first one passed away and they still speak of him often. We answer all of their questions as well as we can, trying to end all of our conversations with happy memories.

  72. Beth Anne says:

    Oh Anne, I’m so sorry. I teared up reading this and just feel for you guys. This is gut-wrenching.

    One thing came to mind: My grandma recently died and my Dad shared this story at her funeral. His dog died suddenly when it was hit by a car when he was a child. He and his brothers were devastated. My Grandma called the pastor of their new church and asked him to come over to lead a funeral for their dog.

    This might not make sense for everyone, but it’s a memory that stuck with my Dad his whole life. That his mom cared enough to do that and to help the boys process their grief. I’m sure there are many different ways to honor sweet Bingley – and even if your children maybe aren’t responding to some effort you make… it may stick with them anyways.

    I can think of so many times when I was grateful my parents opened things up for conversation, even if I didn’t feel ready or didn’t want to share – I was still glad they made that offer and/or shared comforting words to a silent child who didn’t know what to say or do but who wanted the grief very much acknowledged and processed.

  73. Lindsay says:

    I am so very sorry. We got a rescue puppy about the same time you did and only just brought our puppy with us on vacation to stay at a kennel near our “no pets” lake house rental for two weeks. It is unnerving giving someone else responsibility for a pet, perhaps especially a new pet, and your loss hits very close to home right now! It looks like you have lots of good recommendations for processing your loss with your children. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to find ourselves in your situation right now.

  74. Arati says:

    I am so very sorry to hear this. The grief of losing a dog never really goes away. Our spaniel Bagheera was with us for over 15 years, and I still think of him every day. But before him, we had a dachschund called Rafiki, or first ever dog who came to us when my sister and I were aged 12 and 9. We heard of her death while we were on holiday, just as you did, and though we grieved, it really really hit us when we went home, and there was no Rafiki to greet. I’ve never really got over that part.

  75. Jami says:

    Oh, Anne. I’m so sorry. The loss of a dog, whether old or young, is heartbreaking. It’s amazing how quickly and thoroughly those fur babies worm their way into our hearts.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.