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I have mixed feelings about my phone. It can help me be super productive and keep me connected with family and friends. On the other hand, I dislike feeling like I have wasted time thanks to social media algorithms. These hot and cold feelings have led me to reevaluate my relationship with my phone and social media.
Does anyone else feel like their phone has become a sci-fi super computer? Every day I carry around a combo of KITT from Knight Rider, a Star Trek communicator, Professor X’s Cerebro, C-3PO, and Skynet from The Terminator in my pocket, which is pretty rad. (Well maybe not the Skynet part.) Since it has so many uses, I feel like I can’t go without it. I am constantly reaching for my iPhone to check the weather or use the calculator or look something up real quick. All these applications and uses add up to the device being in my hand or my pocket for most of my day. I got my first smart phone in 2009 and it’s wild how indispensable it feels now. Every upgrade and new feature makes using it less feel harder to accomplish.
A big portion of the time I spend on my iPhone is social media scrolling. Using Instagram has opened up a world of awesome tips, delicious recipes, excellent travel recs, and most importantly, fantastic connections with fellow readers. I am really grateful for these things. Yet, viewing and interacting takes time and that doesn’t even include the hours I have gotten sucked into silly suggested videos and overwhelming news. Often I open the app with the intention of sharing a great book I have read or a fun restaurant we visited but then I end up scrolling and POOF 30 minutes have gone by without me even posting. My app of choice is Instagram but you can fill-in-the-blank with any social media here. Finding that perfect balance is tough!
My on-going goal is to use my phone like a futuristic time-saving magical device. Instead of feeling like I spend too much time on my iPhone or Instagram, I want these tools to quickly work for me so they can simplify my life while keeping me connected and organized. I am talking about more moments focused on my kids, husband, family, and friends instead of my phone. Having additional hours to read. Reorganizing my own kitchen instead of watching creators on Instagram work on their pantry and fridge.
Figuring out how to achieve this technological dream has been a journey. I first tried removing the app from my phone’s home screen and even deleting it entirely. Unfortunately, that didn’t work for me. I often chat with friends through Instagram and use it to update the schedule for Pottery Book Club, so having regular access is important. That made redownloading it each time a hassle. I have also tried putting my phone in another room out of reach. While that cut down on the amount of time on my phone in general, it didn’t stop the rabbit holes I would fall down in from my Instagram feed once I had my paws back on my phone.
Team member Leigh takes Sundays off social media. This would be fabulous but I haven’t been able to use this technique since we normally spend our weekends at various kid events or traveling. I want to take photos, look up directions, and research stops. Something I haven’t even thought to try is one of Ginger’s many strategies: a phone jail. After hearing how much that has helped her, I can’t wait to order one for our family dinners. Yet I don’t think this tip will work for me at other times of the day because I am physically utilizing my phone for so many things in addition to social media like our family calendar, streaming music, and various reading apps.
One technique that has been turning my phone into a futuristic time-saving magical device is a solution I find equally innovative. I’ve been aware of Brick for a while but I wasn’t inspired to order one for myself until I saw a friend from Bookstagram purchase one. A Brick is a small magnet embedded with an NFC tag that you can place anywhere. I have kept mine on the fridge, in the car, on my washing machine, and even on my headboard. Using Brick’s app, I set up a few different modes that block or allow the items I choose. When I want to start a mode, like my “off the ‘gram” one that blocks Instagram, I go to the app to brick my phone. Then if I want to check my Instagram messages or look up new places on the app when we travel, it just takes tapping my phone to the Brick to instantly have access again. Abracadabra! I know the tech is pretty simple but I am truly amazed every time it works.
Since I started using mine about 6 months ago, my relationship with both my phone and social media have changed. I still use Instagram for all sorts of things but the time I spend on it is more manageable and focused. I keep the app “bricked” most of the time and that helps break my automatic tendency to open it anytime I pick up my phone to check a text or missed call. It is still there; I just can’t access it as easily as before. A delightful side effect is that blocking Instagram has also led to less time on my phone overall. It seems that breaking the habit of often opening that one app throughout the day has reduced me reaching for my phone at all.
Best of all, I have gained more time to connect in person with my family and friends. Feeling less distracted and more present has been great because I am always striving to live more in the moment. I have also spent more time at night reading when I would have been scrolling instead. In fact, one of my modes is for “reading only”, and still allows me to use bookish apps like The Storygraph and Libro.fm, plus the option to google interesting tidbits I stumble across in the pages.
My friend whose Brick purchase inspired me to try it out has not had the same success. She works remotely and has found it is too easy to simply tap her phone in her small home and start scrolling again. I haven’t had this issue in our small house because I am like Dory from Finding Nemo and frankly forget that it’s an option sometimes. I do think the Brick works best if I place the magnet in a strange location, like the metal leg of a chair in the other room. Sort of like an “out of sight, out of mind” disappearing act. Even better, if I am away from home and can’t just tap it open again. I never remember to tap my phone before leaving the house. Luckily the app has 5 emergency unbricks that can be replaced after requesting more. Reader, I bet you can figure out how I know this!
Establishing better boundaries with social media and my phone thanks to this ingenious little tool has been a game-changer. Anne just recently started using a Brick as well and is surprised by how much she likes it, because she didn’t think she “needed” it that much. (If you would like to try a Brick for yourself, you can get 10% off with the code ANNEBOGEL.)
In addition to the Brick, I plan on trying some other strategies. First, I want to gather an analog bag full of screen-free items like Donna and Ginger have done. I am also going to learn how to set up some nifty automations and shortcuts on my iPhone. If you have any tips and tricks to share, I am all ears.
Please share how you balance social media and screentime in the comments below. After all, we all deserve a phone that can be a futuristic time-saving magical device.
P.S. How I find time to read, The most important items in my travel tech kit, and 21 spine-tingling but not TOO scary audiobooks for fall.
About the author
Brigid Misselhorn is our MMD Book Club Community Administrator. Her go-to genres are mystery, romance, and sci-fi. You can find Brigid on Instagram @brigid_emily.
39 comments
The irony of seeing this article linked on Instagram…😊
Busyness keeps me off of it most days. Not having an online-driven job or business would not be good for me. We were created to be in community with other people – in person, seeing facial expressions. I find the more in-person time I have with people, the less I care about what I’m missing on the internet.
Aging also brings perspective, alas. 👵🏻
That is some irony, Susan! Totally agree on the in-person time. I have been learning mahjong in-person and have decided not to try any online apps to learn so it stays an in-person activity for me.
My iPhone has a feature where I can limit my time on apps. I set it to 30 minutes for Facebook (my social media of choice). When I’ve been on 25 minutes it tells me I have five minutes left. I can override it but the important thing it does is tell me I’ve spent 40 minutes scrolling!
Yes! I also use the screentime feature and I love it because the pop-up telling me I’m at the limit stops me from the continuous scroll enough to think about whether I want to continue or if I should move on to something else!
On the weekends, I will often give myself another 15 minutes, but during the week, it’s enough to remind myself I have other things I should be doing.
I got to try this, Amy! ( I have done something similar for my children but hadn’t thought to use it on myself.) Thank you for sharing.
Does iPad have it, too? Where can I find it?
Unfortunately, the brick didn’t work for me because I realized all I had to do to disable it was uninstall the brick app from my phone, no tapping on the physical brick device required.
Oh, that is clever Robin. I had no idea that was possible. But I honestly I will never try that because have apps on my phone from years ago that I still haven’t deleted. LOL!
You can make it where you cannot disable it within the app.
I’ve been using the Forest app for focus periods because it’s cute and I like seeing new trees at the end of my sessions. It sounds a lot like Brick, minus the physical component – it works off of screen time permissions, I believe. Phones are so useful and I truly cannot imagine locking mine away completely (what if I need to log into my account to pay this bill?), but it’s SO easy to get “lost in the scroll.” So I find a nice balance in blocking the non-utility apps for periods of focus.
Oh I totally forgot I tried something like this before, Nichole! It was Hank Green’s knitting bean app. I should have included it in the post. Thank you for the reminder of these types of apps.
I will give myself 15 minutes to scroll and then at time I get out of Insta. Also if there is a temptation to stay on longer, I coach myself that I am losing valuable reading time and remind myself of the great book I am reading or listening to that I need to get back to. In my most rational moments, I will ask myself if what I am doing is going to be helpful to me in any way. The answer is almost always no and I will remind myself that these apps are designed to addict us. Lots of self-coaching going on.
What a lovely way to approach your scroll time, Suzanne!
I set a timer on my phone of max 15 minutes a day on Insta and 15 min a day on Facebook. It has definitely helped me not mindlessly scroll when I pick up my phone to do something or when riding in the car. I have only hit the limit one time because it sends lots of warnings before you hit the limit.
Good to know, Angela!
Love your exploration of this ubiquitous topic – seems like we have very similar patterns of struggle with Instagram. I love it! I love how I connect to other readers/people and learn and laugh…. but I hate it because POOF there goes my time. Charging in the other room is helpful for me but I need “duo” to unlock various work website and BOOM it’s back in my hand again. You’re not the first to suggest Brick but may be the one that finally gets me on board. Really like the “mode” idea of – “reading mode” or “basic mode” for just maps/calculator/texting.
ALSO I’ve been playing mahjong (in person) for about a year and have fallen HARD for it. First it was just once a month with my group but then I got my own set and taught my family and now we play daily. It’s such a lovely way to unwind and be face-to-face.
Thank you for sharing that this truly is ubiquitous, so nice to know I am not alone in finding the right balance. I truly have fallen in love with my Brick! Next time we are in the same area, let’s play some mahjong.
I put my phone on gray scale. That has been a huge game changer for me. I find that I scroll and shop less because it’s less inviting when everything is black and white. I use the Brick also. I brick my email, safari, and Amazon most of the day and have a couple of times carved out for that. I use the notes app to remind myself of emails to send or things I want to check out during my set aside time. And that helps with the temptation to just send a quick email or look that up quick when I’m with family or even trying to read uninterrupted, I find I I interrupt myself with these things if I’m not careful.
What a great multifaceted approach, Jennifer! I hadn’t thought of bricking Amazon but will be giving that a try soon. And using notes app to jot things you want to do later reminds me of how Ginger keeps a little notebook and pen in her phone jail to swap with phone for that same reason!
Even Substack can be a bottomless hole of links and trails and all the things. I try to ease off on Saturday and keep Sunday as phone free as possible. I need that Sabbath rest more than I’d like to admit.
Those internet rabbit holes can be endless for sure, Linda!
I know someone who has their garage door programmed to open when they pull onto their street! Also the garage door to open a few minutes before they will leave, and their car to turn on one minute before the scheduled go time.
I can’t imagine, but it sure seems like a really helpful use of technology!
Oh how clever!! I definitely need to figure out an automation to start our car remotely on a hot day.
I took Lent away from social media, and upon returning I set timers for each of my possible time-eating apps. Instagram,for instance, is 30 minutes a day. That’s long enough to post, watch the reels friends send, maybe scroll briefly throughout the day. But when the total hits 30 minutes the app is locked out until tomorrow.
Have I sometimes overridden it? Of course. But I try to only do that for a particular purpose, then lock it again. It’s working well for me!
Awesome to hear this strategy is working well for you, Sarah!
I love the Brick! I got one a few months ago, btu it took me a while to start actively using it. Now I love it. I like that you can schedule it to brick and unbrick in advance, so you don’t have to mannualy activate the Brick. And you can have different modes where different apps are available or not. I have a bedtime mode that means I can’t scroll between 8pm and 6am, but I can still listen to audiobooks, podcasts and music, but do little else with the phone. It’s been a gamechanger for me. I’m still working on figuring out what is the best brick set up for me is during the workday, but that will come!
I didn’t even know about that scheduling feature, Veronica! Thank you for sharing yet another hack to try with my Brick. And bedtime mode sounds lovely!
I delete the instagram app off my phone every monday and re-add it on the weekends – the only social media I look at during the week is substack and inoreader for 2-3 blogs. Super helpful and much more fun to look at when I have more “catching up” to do vs scrolling and being flooded with ads because I’m “caught up”
Sarah, what a good point about being flooded with ads and it being more fun!
Oh, and I also set “screen time” on iPhone so it cuts off at 8:30 and comes back on at 7a. only texts from 3 people can come though. Protects my morning/evening time!
I will say the OneSec app has curbed my social media use. You install it, and then it walks you through creating a shortcut (one for each app you want to “pause”) and it builds in a pause (of however long you want) before it opens.
It’s annoying, just annoying enough that I won’t go mindlessly scroll; even if it’s just a 15 second pause that I’ve built in, that gives me a moment to second guess if that’s what I want to do.
Before it lets you open the app – after the pause – it asks you how much time you want, and I can say 10 min, and it will allow 10m and then make me take another pause.
it’s been extremely effective for me. But. I need to add it to Games now, as I wasn’t playing games at all before, and now I’ve pivoted to playing games while listening to audiobooks or podcasts LOL
One other suggestion I got from the Science Vs podcast about screen time – the most effective tip they found was turning colors to grayscale. The lack of colors doesn’t trigger a part of our brains that draws us in – it’s kind of like Skittles! their user found it extremely effective… it just was not appealing to spend as much time on IG an FB and TT when it wasn’t pretty and sparkling and enticing. Fascinating!
Ginger uses grayscale too alongside her other tricks. I need to give that a try! Plus, the OneSec app sounds like it would be helpful as well.
I also use OneSec. I started using it probably a year ago but only this spring did I really intently begin using it to limit social media. Since then, my pages read per month has quadrupled…I started with only allowing social media for a set hour per day using its block function, and then an hour every other day. Now it’s twice a week for a set hour (Wednesday and Sunday from 5-6). I usually forget about the time. In August so far, my phone tells me I’ve used Instagram and Threads for 49 minutes each. I’ve read Kindle on my phone for 42 hours and 16 minutes.
I also have an automation on my phone to set grayscale for when downtime starts before bed.
A recent post indicated that our Patreon level determined whether we automatically received the Fall Guide via email. I have spent way too much time on Patreon trying to figure out what benefit level I am at. Questions to them send me to a general response, not unique to MMD. I have no idea how to get to someone on the MMD staff for help, so trying this.I’m at the annual payment of $108. What does that give me as benefits? Thank you.
Jennifer, the ad-free tier delivers ad-free episodes as its sole perk. That’s not you, you’re all set. I wish it wasn’t all so confusing! We’re trying our utmost to be super clear with our language to avoid such confusion; we will continue to do so. We’re so glad you’re part of our community. I hope this helps!
Suggestions needed for how to avoid reading work emails and work chats outside of office hours. Thanks!
One tip I use for email distractions the toggle to stop showing specific email addresses inboxes in “Manage account on this device” on the Gmail app I use on my phone. When I want to view that inbox again I just toggle it back on!
I am late to owning a smart phone (2024!), and I purposely left off email, Instagram, games, bill paying, and shopping. I do have GPS maps, Kindle, Cloud Library, and pictures, of course, on my phone. I have all the other things on my iPad, which is usually at home. It makes it a separate purposeful look at Instagram, for instance, and days go by without me looking at it. But oh boy, when I do, I can be lost for hours…so I am interested in the Brick device, or the OneSec app. Thanks for all this info!
The Foqos app is free and open source (in terms of the coding behind it). It can do the same things as the Brick- you can get an NFC tags off amazon, use a barcode even or I use a MYO yoto card. You can customize a few different profiles commonly. I put my yoto card- mic tage somewhere where I have to go to the opposite side of the house.