Sometimes it doesn’t get easier

Sometimes it doesn’t get easier

A long story about a submarine, and my to-do list, and how one is messing with the way I see the other.

Last week my husband and I took our oldest child to Chicago for a few days, just the three of us. The agenda looked somewhat different than it does when it’s just Will and me, or the whole family of six.

Our very first stop on the way into the city was the Museum of Science and Industry, a place only I had been to before, and not since I was a kid.

When you travel with your family you end up visiting places and exhibits you wouldn’t have chosen on your own, and that is how I ended up on a tour of the U-505 submarine, the first WWII U-boat captured by the U.S. Navy during the war, in June 1944. If the Germans knew their sub had been captured, they would know that their codes had been compromised—and so the capture was classified, the German crew was interred in a Louisiana POW camp, and the sub was secretly taken apart and studied, top to bottom, to extract valuable information to assist the Allied war effort.

That’s the background. I want to pick up with what happened after the war.

When the war was over, the Navy no longer needed the sub, and it was very nearly used for target practice. But the commander who captured the U-505 was a Chicago native, and he successfully petitioned his hometown’s Museum of Science and Industry to assume ownership and display the submarine. The museum raised a quarter of a million dollars, and in 1954, the sub was moved from its resting place in Bermuda to the lakefront museum in Chicago.

(This move was a BIG DEAL, and the footage is really cool. The hardest part of the journey: moving the massive sub the paltry 800 feet from the lake to the museum lawn. As the museum likes to point out, the sub is as long as a city block, and weighs three times the Statue of Liberty.)

Later that year, the sub was unveiled to the public, as an open-air war memorial. The sub stayed there for the next 50 years, exposed to the elements. 50 blistering summers, 50 infamous Chicago winters, always lakeside exposure. U-boats are tough, but they’re not made to sustain those elements.

By the turn of the century, the museum could see that the sub would literally fall apart. And so they planned an audacious project: a $35 million plan to move and restore the sub and create a new exhibit, indoors and underground. A top line item: Undoing 50 years of damage from 50 years of Chicago weather. Removing the thick coating of 50 years of rust from the hulk of the boat.

I was struck by the sheer logistics of moving a 700-ton sub from Bermuda to a Chicago basement. Will was struck by the 50 years of rust. Well, that and the $35 million dollars. When the tour guide dropped the stats on just how one goes about removing 50 Chicago winters’ worth of damage from the hulk of an old submarine, he leaned in and said, “Remember that later—it doesn’t get easier.” I didn’t get it at first, and my eyes probably reflected something like, what does my life have to do with a u-boat?

He explained more later, post-tour, and I get it now. I’ve been thinking about it all the time.

We put things off because we think it will be easier later, whatever it is. We’ll have more cash to fix the roof leak, or more motivation to move the 401k, or more energy to find a math tutor, or more inclination to finally kick that habit.

But over time, some things—maybe most things—don’t get easier. In fact, they often get harder—because the tiny leak turns into something legitimately scary, or we grow forgetful about the details for that 401k, or we slip even further behind in math (or our kid does), or the habit grows more entrenched. Or one more Chicago winter adds another layer of nasty rust to a certain submarine. We’re not actually giving ourselves a break by delaying. We’re making it harder on ourselves.

(Last fall, Will and I came THIS CLOSE to buying a gorgeous house with serious water damage that began with a tiny leak. When we looked at the house, there were gaping holes on two stories, and corresponding repair estimates in the five figures. It doesn’t get easier.)

Of course, there are good reasons to wait, sometimes. Money is an obvious one, and relevant for the U-505. It’s a reason I can relate to. It’s obvious you’re better off repairing the roof now, not later—but if you’re broke, you’re broke. Sometimes it makes sense to wait until you have more time—although for me, the needed time rarely materializes later. It doesn’t get easier.

Since we got back from Chicago, I’ve been coaching myself with these words, especially as I tackle the remnants of my summer to-do list, the items I’ve been putting off for months. Many months. I finally completed paperwork I’ve been meaning to finish for six (!!) months. I could have completed it in 5 minutes last winter, but because I was fuzzy on the details, it took me fifteen. Not a huge loss, but a loss all the same. It got harder.

It doesn’t get easier. And so we’re tending to a few minor (for now) repairs around the house that have been nagging us for a few months. I’m eyeing the Virginia creeper that’s about to climb out of reach and take over my trees before I pull it down, and the once-tiny sprigs of poison ivy in the bed that are suddenly not-so-tiny. These are small examples, because they’re not embarrassing ones, but I assure you I can think of some big ones, too—some situations I made harder on myself, and it’s my own fault, and that hurts.

Maybe tackle something that’s getting harder, and tell me about it in comments? I’d love to hear about the thing that didn’t get easier for you, and what you did about it (or still need to do about it). Did you have something actually get easier with time? That’s terrific; I’d love to hear about that as well. Can you motivate us to take action today? Share your favorite tips and mental tricks in comments.

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76 comments

  1. Emerald says:

    Oh yes, I can so relate. How about forgetting to update the toll tag account when I replaced my bank card. Such a small thing but huge as the fees and fines stack up. Ugh!

    I recently came across Mel Robbins and have watched this video at least once a week for the past 3 weeks. It has helped me just get moving and doing that things small and large that I’ve been putting off. https://youtu.be/LCHPSo79rB4

    • Kimberly Thomason says:

      Thanks for that link, Emerald! I haven’t seen Mel before, but I love her message and no-excuses approach.

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks for the link. Ironically I almost turned it off when I realised it was such a long piece but a split second decision to turn off the tv and watch was definitely worth it.

  2. Sarah says:

    Your accurate examples…we were told a couple years ago we would need to replace the roof on part of our house, but didn’t have the money at that point. We finally got to it this summer, and discovered some major rot/carpenter ant issue in the rafters where moisture had collected. Increased cost and time. Happy to say the project was finally finished yesterday (except for 2 pieces of trim which had to be ordered)!

  3. Kristy says:

    On my summer list is clean out our master closet, it’s much too big and has become the storage closet for when things need to be hidden from view or we just don’t know what to do with them. It’s not getting easier to clean out! Sigh.

  4. Sandra says:

    Great reminder for me today. I’ve been listening to Mel Robbins too. Simple response to take action rather than just think about it. Taking action also counteracts feeling overwhelmed, when you can see that what you do makes a difference.

  5. Teresa B says:

    I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday. When I was getting married, I stayed on top of thank yous from showers and the wedding, as in writing them the next day. I was able to write a more genuine note because my interactions with guests were fresh in my mind and it’s the kind of daunting to-do list item that I knew I could put off for months so I did it right away, knowing that it doesn’t get any easier to wait.

  6. Kathleen says:

    This was timely for me to read. I am struggling with menstrual depression (TMI? Sorry!) and it is getting worse and worse every month. I keep thinking it’s no big deal, because it goes away when my cycle is over. But then it comes back, and it’s worse, and it is a very big deal. Today I’m finally reaching out for treatment options.

    • Dorothy K says:

      Kathleen, Thanks for sharing this. I neglected self-care b/c I wasn’t sure how or where to get the support needed. So grateful a chance (divine) encounter led me to a supportive LMH counselor. Take care of yourself 😊

  7. Brittney says:

    Great reminder! I’m not sure if I read this tip here on your site or elsewhere (maybe Gretchen Rubin?) but I do a ‘power hour’ about once a week to plow through all of those dreadful but necessary tasks (emailing the preschool co-op, paying bills, making dentist appointments, etc) that keep the house running and it makes a world of difference for my sanity. Just relegating them to an hour and a day gets rid of that nagging feeling and it always surprises me just how quickly I can get them done.

  8. Amy says:

    This hurts to write, but maybe someone else will be helped. My daughter developed an eating disorder and we missed signs and ignored a sense that something was wrong because we were so scared of the unknown and afraid of alienating our daughter during a difficult teen time. We finally sought treatment about six months after we first felt concern. By that point, our daughter had perfected strategies that made us constantly question ourselves and pushed our family relationships to the breaking point. She has been off and on in counseling, as have my husband and I, but I still know in my heart that I should have intervened much earlier than I did. She is now leaving for college; I’m trying to help her and repair the relationship, yet it never feels like I’m doing the right things. My advice? If you have any inkling that someone you love has a mental health issue, RUN for help immediately, even if it ends up just being counseling for yourself.

    • Jennifer N. says:

      Amy, I am really sorry for what you’re going through with your daughter. A close friend of mine when I was in high school had anorexia/bulimia. We all knew she was losing weight too fast and we were all very vocal about it and still it took her months to come forward to us as having a problem. My brother was an addict, so I think I know a bit of what your family is dealing with and I really hope things start looking up sooner than later.

    • Guest says:

      Amy, I’m so sorry your family has gone and is going through this. I hope it encourages you to know that I have known several people through the years who had eating disorders and were able to overcome and lead healthy lives.

  9. Michele Magnuson says:

    I always convince clearing out the clutter can wait until after this episode, or after this book, or after dinner, or sometimes even after this week. But by then there’s just more clutter.
    One thing that did get easier for me with time was school. Granted some elements were harder because by the time I went back I was a mom with many other responsibilities. But I valued my education more by then and found it easier to focus and push through the mundane parts that 18 year old me would have fought against (and did the first time around) .

  10. Jennifer N. says:

    Yard work is the perfect example of things that only get harder. Just this summer I put off mowing the lawn for far too long, and let me tell you, it probably took me three times as long and twice as much gas as it needed to. I’m really annoyed with myself for that (plus I also had to take time to rake up all the clippings since they were too long to just leave there). Which reminds me, I really need to try to get that done tonight since it’s supposed to rain all weekend. Boo. I also need to pull some poison ivy in the yard, but in fairness to myself I didn’t notice it until it was already bushy. Just waiting for a cooler day that will allow me to wear pants and long sleeves comfortably.

  11. Kate says:

    This is exactly the post I need right now as summer is dwindling and the new school year (and work year for me, too) is racing toward me! What a memorable image (submarine!) to keep in mind and propel us to take care of the little things before they become big things…to ignore the siren song of the iPhone or other distraction. Thank you 🙂

  12. Hannah says:

    Very good post. I have a sign over my desk that says “Unsolved problems become barriers to progress.” Every single time business is not going the way I want it to, or there are things going wrong at home, I can find a problem that needs to be solved as the root cause. Take the time, spend the money, solve the problem, and things magically move forward. But it’s so easy to let little problems pile up.

  13. This post spoke to me today…it is a timely and well-written work. It is funny, we all worry about our “bucket list” but rarely our “to-do” list. I have a lot of little things that eat at my mental well-being and if completed would be a relief. This has spurred me to get working on them one at a time and get the rust off this precious place I call home. It is also time to get the rust off my deepest dreams. Thank you for a wonderful post. Bravo.

  14. Susan Shaw says:

    I don’t have any words of advice, but I wanted to say that this post came at the perfect time for me. I’m feeling overwhelmed as the summer winds down. I don’t think it is uncommon for teachers to start panicking as the school year approaches. For two months I’ve been able to block and ignore the commitments and responsibilities that are now creeping up on me. I’m going to try to take your advice and make an effort to tackle the mental to do list keeping me awake at night.

  15. Caroline K says:

    Oh oh oh! My grandfather was aboard the Navy ship (USS Guadalcanal) that captured the German U-505 boat!!! I’ve heard that war story maybe 100 times. I got the goosebumps when I read that you were at the museum that held the first German submarine captured in WWII. I didn’t know its name, but I *did* know that my grandpa was a part of the Navy team that captured the first U-boat. A quick Google search confirmed my suspicions. I didn’t know that this submarine was in a museum. Bucket list will be to see it in person one day.

    • Lauren says:

      Definitely go see it!!! I have lived in the Chicago suburbs my whole life and grew up going to the MSI yearly so I was able to see the U 505 after it was moved inside and restored. The exhibit is phenomenal! It is really worthwhile, from the hallway that leads up to the actual submarine to the sub itself to the interactive exhibits geared for kids surrounding it (the exhibit). The whole museum is world class. You will not be sorry!

  16. Kristian says:

    AH- your story ring so true. And the tasks feel so good when accomplished, don’t they! You’ve got me inspired.

    The one thing that can make a difference for me, with waitng, is when will I feel pressured? Sometimes taking a day and talking about it when I’m not anxious helps me. Other times, as the deadline looms closer, I know I’ll be more anxious, so it is better to deal with sooner.

  17. Ellen says:

    My daughter recently had a major leg surgery: incisions everywhere, two months of casts and currently in the beginning satges of intensive physical therapy. Everyday my
    husband, son and I struggle through the screams and crying and the seemingly endless
    feeling of hopelessness. My sweet, strong girl has lost the will to get back to “normal”. She’s lost ten pounds since the surgery, a ton of weight on a kiddo, and puts up the biggest wild cat fights you’ve ever seen when it’s time to stretch and do work. But…We. Never. Give. Up. Through the screams and cries, through the heart-breaking agony of watching your child be in pain we never put off the work. It will most certainly get worse if we wait for a different day, so we push through because we have faith it will be better on the other side. “Procrastination is like a credit card; it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.” -Christopher Parker (English actor)

    • SoCalLynn says:

      I have recently been through a lot of pain and recovery, which is painful. It sure does hurt, and I can’t imagine being a child and having to go through something like that. I just want to encourage her to get tough and that she CAN do it!!!And it is so WORTH IT! Also, my husband was in a motorcycle accident and had to have his knee totally reconstructed, followed with months of rehab therapy. It hurts while we are in the middle, but he is almost 100%. Stay strong!!!

  18. Meg says:

    Oh, how I love this! I am the poster child for avoiding the dentist. I put it off for 3 years. I didn’t want to deal with my phobia. Well, I am paying the price (literally) for putting it off! I now need 3 root canals, 2 previous root canals are infected and I also have 4 cavities. What I could have dealt with in one dental visit is now TWELVE appointments with an Endodontist. Learn from me, GO TO THE DENTIST REGULARLY!

    • Jennifer says:

      Oh no. I’m going to my first dentist appointment in 7 years today. I had the same problem–major anxiety about it. And now I’m sure I will have the same issues

    • Lisa Z says:

      Yes! This is the classic “it only gets harder.” I’ve always done twice-yearly dental care even though I detest it, but at one point when my kids were little and insurance was sketchy, I put it off for two years. Oh my! I learned never to do that again. Luckily I didn’t have major issues, but just the teeth scraping and pain of that appointment was enough to make me say, “Never again.”

      Dental care definitely gets harder if you don’t do it regularly. I wish you luck with all of yours!

    • Guest says:

      I almost didn’t post this because I don’t want to sound like a drug pusher – ha! – but if you have that much anxiety about the dentist, please consider calling in advance and requesting an anxiety pill to take the morning of your appointment. It doesn’t bother me to have my teeth cleaned/checkup (actually loving having my teeth cleaned!) but I have major anxiety about any work. To the point my blood pressure was so high they couldn’t do my filling (and I don’t have high blood pressure) until I took a Xanax at which point I relaxed and was able to be at peace. My husband drove me home and I slept for several hours after and felt great when I woke up.

      • Meg says:

        I have asked my doctor for Xanax! I don’t want to pay an extra $1,000 to be put under, so Xanax is my only option. Thanks!

        • Guest says:

          I just said a prayer for your appointment, Meg! Remind yourself that the medicine will relax you, make you feel like you haven’t a care in the world and everything will be taken care of and you’ll be good as new! It doesn’t knock you out but it just sort of makes everything okay – don’t know how else to explain it. 😊

  19. Darla DenHerder says:

    My home office is always a mess. As in, 2 years of filing that needs to be done. I work full time away from home but I do the books for a Homeowners Association so each month I have papers that need to be filed away. Every weekend, I put “filing” on my “To Do” list and every weekend, it never gets done. I keep hoping to find some really cute and fun way to file! As if!! Ha!

  20. Christine says:

    The funny thing is that I decided to go to your website rather than do my work because I just couldn’t face it. Thanks for the reminder that “it doesn’t get easier,” so off to work I go.

  21. Julia R. says:

    That’s it. As soon as I get back to work I’m diving into the daunting task I should have had done two weeks ago, but because it is the absolute busiest time of my work season I have not made/taken the time to get to it yet. Thanks for the motivation!

  22. Maureen says:

    I have many of those ‘just not right now’ to do items that are upsetting me and yet I can’t (won’t) Just Do Them. e.g. taking the boxes of stuff that need to go to the charity shops. It’s too hot..or it’s pouring down rain..or I’d rather take a nap. This week I had to move all that crap from my bedroom to the studio because my granddaughter is coming tomorrow for a night. Clutter and dirt had to be dealt with because if the windows are open for a month or so, the dust becomes dirt.

    I do give all of us a bit of a break though because with all that is going on in our country it’s hard not to be depressed. That’s a statistic. We just have to …do what we can and pray about the rest.

  23. Bernadette says:

    What I’ve found is that when I put off what I should be doing, not only does the task get harder, but I burden myself with guilt in the meantime. I know that I should be doing x,y, or z, but instead I am doing ___. It is like a double whammy.

  24. Jacqueline says:

    Whoa, this post hit home. I immediately wrote “it doesn’t get easier later” on a post-it to stick to my computer screen. Hopefully, seeing it daily will keep it at the front of my mind. Thank you for taking the time to share!

  25. hillary says:

    I really needed to hear this. I am embarrassed to admit it but I smoke. Have for the past 22 years. I keep telling myself that tomorrow it will be easier to quit but I know it won’t.

  26. Julie says:

    For me, the thing that immediately came to mind when I read this post is the fact that we waited until our son was 9 years old to have him tested for dyslexia. I kept thinking, “Oh, he’ll get it, he’ll be fine, he’s always been a little behind his peers.” I worried that I was over-reacting, that my concerns were somehow cosmically causing the problem. And, lo and behold–now we know that he has severe dyslexia, and he’s getting speech/reading therapy and beginning at the.very.beginning. It is so painful to watch and, while I am beating myself up about waiting so long to JUST DO SOMETHING about his reading problem, I am trying to store away all the lessons I’ve learned from this experience. 1. If you think there’s a problem–if it bothers you or is disrupting the lives of people that you love–GET AFTER IT, GIRL! 2. Don’t let other people (doctor, family members, other moms) talk you out of your gut feeling. You’ve got that Mama Instinct for a reason. 3. Celebrate the fact that you are DOING SOMETHING about it.

    Anyway, looks like there’s lots of us who totally get this post! I love that it was an enormous, aged submarine that led you to these “deep” thoughts, Anne!

    • Amy Bader says:

      Julie my 9-year-old son has dyslexia too. And even though we suspected in preschool and had some interventions in the early grades, he still will be moved to learning support this year to better meet his needs. So, I’m just saying, don’t beat yourself up too hard. Many kids with significant dyslexia don’t get identified or get help until 3rd or 4th grade, and still do well. Just read a lot, and keep advocating for your son. Best wishes!

  27. Akaleistar says:

    The submarine sounds awesome, and that piece of advice is priceless because a lot of things in life don’t get easier, especially when you keep putting it off.

  28. Vanessa says:

    I am an accomplished task finisher BUT there are times when there is an emotional block and I can’t seem to make any progress. I am never sure why that is. In the past few years I have just allowed some things to not get taken care of and I just keep an eye on them. It’s not that I even think it will get easier or go away, I just think, “I’m not ready yet.”

    • Cristin Morgan says:

      Vanessa, I totally feel you! I am a “get things done” kind of person too. So, when I can’t move forward on something, I’ve learned to give myself the time to figure it out, or just wait until that inner door opens to show me the path forward. I’ve spent quite a few years emotionally stuck on something, but since spring, I’ve been able to move forward on figuring it out, and that has been amazing!!! In my figuring out process, I am slowly making a plan to change this major stuck point in my life and I can see that, eventually, everything will be okay. So, to answer Anne’s inquiry, I think there will be times where you can’t move forward until it’s time to move forward, until the way forward is clear. And, that’s all kinds of okay.

  29. Jamie says:

    Your thoughts reminds me of something I read/heard from Gretchen Rubin about doing vs. putting things off. She said if it takes less than a minute, then do it right away. The mental energy that it sucks out of our day WORRYING about getting the thing done versus actually taking the few moments to DO THE THING really don’t compare at all. From putting dishes away to folding laundry to putting the bag of returns in the back of the car instead of the hallway….minutes to accomplish, freeing up all that mental space. Ahhhh…

  30. Barbara says:

    Damn. I was hoping it would. But, yeah. seems to ring true. I can overcome these things.

    Or sometimes, for now is okay, but does need to dealt with later.

  31. Trisha says:

    Well, I immediately think about my yard–the ivy that threatens to invade our neighbors! For example. But it’s true in more subtle ways as well. Repairs, monitoring a child’s progress in school, daily habits that seem trivial. And I also get stuck when I have to make a decision before I can get something done. It’s almost worse than not having the money or the time to get something done: not being decided on what, exactly, to do.

  32. Carrie Zier says:

    AWW! I love this! My grandfather was on one of the ships that captured this sub! My grandmother still tells the story of him coming home on leave and, crawling into bed with her that night, whispering to her that something big had happened, but he couldn’t tell her.

  33. I can relate to this post. I have put off writing for real for 20-plus years! I’ve had a long list of excuses, such as I have nothing worth saying; No one will read it; It’s all been written before; I’m not very creative; I have to take care of things at home–my son, the dishes, make dinner, etc., etc. Blech! Now I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired of not writing. (Isn’t that what they say gets an addict moving toward recovery?) Recently I’ve had a few kicks in the butt to at least move in the right direction by Jorden Roper (www.writingrevolt.com) and my own circumstances, as well as this blog post! Thanks!

  34. ~Amy F.~ says:

    The first thing I thought of that doesn’t get easier is writing essays for university classes. Some of them are challenging, so I put off writing them until the day before they’re due, but it’s a lot harder to plan and write an essay when I have to handle all my projects tat are due that day. On top of that, it’s really hard to do my best writing when I’m counting down hours until the deadline. I’m going to keep this submarine analogy in mind from now on when I’m facing a tough essay!

    The second thing that came to mind is blogging. I’ve been planning to start a blog about literature for a little while now, but I’ve been putting off a lot of the prep work I know I have to do with the excuse that “I’ll get to it later”. I realize now that it’s not going to get any easier the longer I wait. I’ll still have a to-do list a mile long next month, and the month after, and I’ll still be intimidated by the idea of putting my thoughts out there for everyone to read. I’ll still struggle to develop my writing voice no matter when I start, and the longer I wait the less confident I’ll feel. This month, I’ve been choosing one task each day to complete that will move me closer toward launching my blog; this post encourages me to keep doing that every day.

    • Cindy May says:

      To Amy F – If it helps, I look forward to reading your thoughts on literature in your blog. I have a blog too, and the one thing I’ve learned about doing one is to do it for yourself and not to wait for a pat on the back from others since my readers (mostly friends and family) are shy about giving me feedback. Still, I guess I’m glad I have a blog since they seem to enjoy reading it. Good luck with it.

      • ~Amy F.~ says:

        Cindy, that’s a really good point! Realizing that I want to write for me, even if no one reads it or likes it, was one of the main things that made me decide to start my blog now. Even if I don’t reach a wider audience like I’d like to, the process of writing my thoughts will be good for me, and there’s value in that.

        You’re the second person (besides my mom, lol!) who has expressed interest in my blog. That is encouraging to me! I’d love to take a look at your blog, if you wouldn’t mind sending me a link! It’s inspiring to me to see how other people run their blogs and communicate what matters to them 🙂

  35. Lucy says:

    This hit me hard. I have lived my life avoiding hard things, and putting things off to get to them when I “have the time”. Working on it, getting things done now, but the mountain of things… This post is brilliant.

  36. Just spent the last two days deep-cleaning bathrooms. Ugh. I’ve been lazy all summer, only surface cleaning and barely keeping up with laundry and dishes. Well, as you can guess, the job was much harder than keeping them clean in the first place! And even though the bathrooms are the only clean places in my house right now, I feel relieved and a bit motivated to tackle the rest of the house before school starts.
    Thanks for a terrific post!
    Jennifer

  37. Jenny says:

    This is 100% true. However, I find that it’s easier to know that it’s true than to actually take action and change. It’s funny. Some things I do tackle right away because there’s no sense in putting them off. Then other things…. I avoid because it won’t be pleasant, or it’s too hard (seemingly), or I don’t have time…

    This is a good lesson in why you should just do it. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m going to remember this story for sure.

  38. Mandolin says:

    Thank you so much for this post, Anne. You will probably laugh at this, but I have a slight leak in my kitchen roof (I think) and this has spurred me on to get it fixed before spots start showing up and the job is more than a slight patch. Why do we always put off things like this when they really are so much easier (and less painful!) to fix up front?

  39. Shana says:

    Accepting something painful DOES get easier with time…. but work stuff doesn’t. I love this article, thanks for taking the time to write it! But I struggle with always working, finishing and maintaining the normal while promising myself that I will get to the fun stuff SOMETIME. The stuff I really love to do, dream of accomplishing and am excited about. But look! The ironing needs done, the floor needs swept, the kitchen could be straightened… and then it is supper time! For me I have to be intentional about not doing every bit of work and do something I love. Strange, I agree…

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