Dear Readers, today I’m delighted to welcome MMD team member Shannan Malone to the blog! I love the conversation that inspired this post so much. When Shannan mentioned it could make a good blog post, I could not agree fast enough. I hope you enjoy and appreciate these insights as much as I did. Welcome, Shannan! -a
What’s a “hard” book? For some, it might be a book with different (or dated) language, words, and dialects. For me, it’s a book that deals with difficult subjects and themes.
What makes a subject or theme difficult is subjective and personal. Personally, books that detail historical and societal trauma are ones that I find “hard” to read. These books can be challenging to everyone: the marginalized community experiencing the harm and the rest of society who may be unconsciously inflicting that harm.
Take My Hand by Dolen Perkins-Valdez, the Modern Mrs Darcy Book Club May 2023 selection, is about the forced sterilization of young girls, specifically Black girls, set in the early 1970s, in my home state of Alabama. I don’t think I would be reading this if it wasn’t this month’s selection.
Earlier this year I had a conversation with friend and fellow reader Valencia Taylor that helped me think more about how to approach these difficult books. Valencia hosts the Well-Read Black Girl Book Club at Bookmarks and she’s also a What Should I Read Next alum. In a WSIRN Patreon bonus episode called How to read hard books and Black joy recommendations, we discussed Valencia’s seven-step process for reading challenging books. With Valencia’s permission, I’m sharing those steps with you as I approach Take My Hand. You can use them to read any hard book, whatever that means to you.
Start with: Define Your Why. Simon Sinek wrote a book titled Start with Why. And that’s where we should always start. (This doesn’t just apply to difficult books!) Why am I reading Take My Hand? Like most of the world, I did not learn much African-American history during my school years and have decided to rectify that. This story is also set in my home state of Alabama.
1. Read the bio of the author and watch/read author interviews. Discover the author’s inspiration for writing the book.
I often find that I really want to read a book after I hear the author talk about it—and the internet is full of free interviews! The Free Library of Philadelphia hosted Perkins-Valdez in conversation with Asali Solomon. It was an inspiring conversation.
Anne’s interviews with authors are my favorite perk of the MMD Book Club. I’m really looking forward to her interview with Perkins-Valdez on Tuesday May 23 at 1 PM EDT.
2. Read a summary of a book and check for content warnings.
I am on record on my inaugural episode of What Should I Read Next? that I will read the ending of a book with a quickness. If a book is a “hard” book, that is something that I definitely do. Who is still alive at the end? What was the conclusion? In Take My Hand, Perkins-Valdez begins the story in 2016, so I assumed the narrator was still alive. That helped me breathe easier! Reading the ending helps me frame where I think the story could go, tempering my emotional anxiety.
3. If a book is historical, research the place/time/person.
In Take My Hand, I read the Author’s Note first even though it is at the end of the book. I also researched the real-life case of Relf v. Weinberger on which the book is based. One of the things I learned was that not all the girls sterilized were Black.
4. Decide how you are going to read this book: digital, audio, physical copy.
Per Valencia’s observation, reading a book in print allows you to skim over the more difficult sections without losing the momentum of the story, and that’s how I’m choosing to read Take My Hand. I grew up listening to stories on tape (remember those?) and know that audio has a way of implanting scenes and details into my brain that reading with my eyes does not.
5. Pace yourself. Take the book in small bites and pace yourself.
I am taking it very slow and will probably finish it after Anne’s chat with the author.
6. Focus on what you’re learning. What am I learning?
My decision to stop reading a book (which I didn’t do before discovering Modern Mrs Darcy) often comes down to my why, which for me will always depend on if I’m learning about something that interests me, no matter the genre. If I’m struggling with a book, I can look for a “book flight” that covers the same themes but might prove more palatable to me. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot is a nonfiction flight pick for Take My Hand. The novel The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead addresses similar themes. Or perhaps I could watch a documentary on the topic?
7. Plan a recovery book.
I often read my recovery book while I am reading my “hard” one. I have already dived into an advanced readers’ copy of The Secret Book of Flora Lea by Patti Callahan Henry. My favorite go-to recovery genre is sci-fi/fantasy with heart (which I also talked about recently with Anne in Patreon).
Much thanks to Valencia for allowing me to share her tips with you. If you have any tips for reading “hard” books, I’d love to check them out in the comments. And let me know if you’ll be reading along with MMD Book Club this month!
How do you approach reading “difficult” books? What makes the reading easier for you? Please tell us about your experience and share your tips in comments!
About the author
Shannan Malone is the MMD Cohost and Contributor. Her go-to genre depends on her mood! You can find Shannan on Instagram @shannanenjoyslife.
77 comments
What a great post Shannan. Like you, I read my “recovery book” (I never used that term but like it) while reading a “hard” book. I would also choose what time of day to read it. I might want to save my recovery book for evening reading in case the “hard” book lead to bad dreams. My book club also challenges me to read outside my comfort zone and gives me a “why” as I know there will be a great discussion to make it worth it.
Thank you so much Janice. My reading time is limited but that is a great idea to read the “hard” book during the day. I could probably do it during carline waiting on the Buddy Man! Thanks.
Thank you so much for this post Shannan! I am someone who has so many books that I want to read but am afraid to because I find difficult themes really hard to read through, knowing that I might I feel uncomfortable or deeply disturbed not only while I’m reading it, but long after (much like you mentioned in #4). I don’t necessarily want to push myself to read all hard books just for the sake of it, but I do want to read some because the topics covered are important to me and something I want to know more about. This post will really help me slowly but surely expand my comfort zone in my reading life and I so appreciate that!!
I’m so glad, Alexis! Thank you for telling me. Reading difficult things is “difficult” but so beneficial to all.
Many long books are available as CD audiobooks. I got through “Little Dorrit” that way, 850 pages.
Sandy, did you see the BBC miniseries version of Little Dorrit, with Claire Foy and Matthew Macfadyen? It’s available for streaming, if you missed it.
Yes, thanks, that’s why I wanted to read the book!
Thanks, Shannan (and Valencia), for these excellent tips. I think Steps 1, 2, and 3 would be useful even for books that are not necessarily “hard” books, but those I’m debating about reading. A little forethought might minimize the number of DNFs in my reading life. I, too, have found it better to read “hard” books in print. I’m all about skimming difficult passages, and, for me, spoken words get seared in my mind and linger long after I finish the book.
Marcia, your point about applying those early steps to more of our books is a good one!
Same Marcia! And yes, Steps 1-3 could work for any read. Valencia tips were awesome and thank you for commenting.
Good suggestions! Another ony
e: If they are available, read the author’s easier books as a warmup for a more difficult book. It helps to get used to the writing style and favorite themes. For example, reading William Faulkner’s short stories and his more approachable novels helped me tackle The Sound and the Fury after a couple failed tries.
Ohh, I like this tip!
That’s an interesting idea. I will have to take that into consideration.
Great list, Shannan! I wish I’d had it last week when I started reading “The Nickel Boys!”
I rarely can find trigger warnings for books. Any tips?
Storygraph users can post trigger warnings.
Kathy: There’s a website called Does the Dog Die that tracks over a hundred triggers, in movies, books, and TV shows. Entries are reported by the users, so your particular book might not be there but it’s a good place to start.
The suggestions below are fantastic. I was going to say Storygraph also. The time period is a good warning for historical fiction and when I read it, I am always aware that the incidents of that time will probably appear or be references at some point.
Hi Anne,
Love receiving your posts! I am the leader of Gourmet Readers, a book club on the North Shore of Boston that I started 22 years ago and we’re going strong with the same people and added one member. I think one of the secrets to good book clubs is to follow some of the steps suggested in this article about reading hard books. I research (and some of the members do this also) the author’s background, any historical facts etc., and find discussion questions and send some of the basic information, not a lot, to all of the members about a week before our monthly meetings. I also send links to YouTube interviews with the author or other related videos. This sets the tone of the meetings and we spend quite a while discussing our books. We just read Take My Hand and had a great discussion about this very important book. We are traveling to Quebec City next month, nine of us, and we are reading one of Louise Penny’s books that’s set in this city. We collect $20 a month at our meetings and then take great trips!
Thanks again for the wonderful work you do in promoting literacy in so many interesting ways. Not sure if you’ve done a lot with young adult books and bringing preteens and teens into your shows and blogs etc. My 11 and 13 year old grandkids are voracious readers and give me suggestions of books for my book club even though they are reading age appropriate books! I know you do discuss young adult books but getting kids involved in your shoe would be fun!
Thanks again, Pat Fish
Pat, I AM SO JEALOUS OVER YOUR UPCOMING TRIP! Wish I could go along as a stowaway, but there’s not enough time to renew my passport. 🙂 Hope it’s wonderful!
Anne, this could be another arm of your burgeoning empire: organizing book-themed tours! And / or, hosting a book-themed travel show.
Just in all your spare time… ;-D
Pat, your book club sounds absolutely incredible! Thanks for telling us about your group (and all the prep that goes into it) here; I’m so glad you had a great discussion about Take My Hand.
Thanks for your comment about reading and young readers. Perhaps you’ll find this playlist of kid-oriented What Should I Read Next episodes useful? https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2zYGiRKd78g4rpg9jfB4EU?si=mt8S8Q7DS-yLsuyHwVCUXg
What a fantastic book club! Thanks for sharing, you have given some good ideas that I will incorporate in my IRL bookclub! Our focus for the last 10 years has been female authors, especially woman of color or local authors. I have used many of the MMD picks as selections.
I am jealous about your trip to Quebec! So fun.
These are such helpful tips! Thanks for sharing Valencia Taylor’s suggestions and also how you apply them. As a highly sensitive person, I find I have to be careful what I read or be careful how I read certain types of books. I was just finding a recovery book this morning for Birnam Wood, a really intense book. I will add these other strategies to my list!
Jenny, you are third person to talk about BIRNAM WOOD. I have heard that it was good! But good to know that a “recovery book” might be needed. Thanks for commenting.
Great post! Thanks for sharing this.
I read “Take My Hand” last year, when it first came out. Found it really disturbing. Of course, there are other, similar histories involving other racialized groups; e.g., aboriginal women. Makes a person really angry to realize that this went on, and relatively recently!
What helps me tackle these difficult books? A focus on the why – why is this narrative important? For example, I think this book greatly contributes to the current reproductive rights conversation in the US. Shying away from that topic. (And I’m not an American, so there’s that).
What also helps me – what a restaurant would call a between course palate cleanser. What you call recovery. I broaden that to include other activities, in addition to a lighter book – an outdoor stroll to focus on my physical surroundings, or watching a pleasant movie or TV series. Currently slowly watching season 3 of All Creatures Great and Small, for that purpose. Humour, family and found family, animals. A great way to calm the mind.
I like “palate cleanser”. That goes so nicely with our use of book “flights”. Wish I’d thought of it, Pat, LOL. Now I’m going to use it. Thanks for sharing.
I also refer to palate cleansers ie. Romance travel or funny book is what I turn to. I was heartbroken after reading Take My Hand and mainly because this happened and I was so unaware. I wonder what’s occurring now that I am unaware of. If I’m reading a hard book I often put it down and read something else coming back occasionally for small doses. I can’t read the end early as I would feel too guilty
This post was awesome. I am a person who has a lot of triggers therefore many books are not for me. Take my Hand is a trigger book for me! Your post really helped with how to approach these books! Thank you!
I’m so glad, Eileen. That was its purpose. I am reading a book now where I am among the “rest of society” that is, I hope, causing the harm, and it is challenging me in ways I never thought. But that’s why we read, right?
What thoughtful and excellent tips, thank you. I think there is also a helpful difference between hard books which don’t directly relate to your own life experience and those that could trigger. In the course of my work as a priest [I witnessed someone harm themselves terribly] in front of me, so I have a hard boundary about not reading books where [that] occurs as I know they will trigger me (and if one sneaks in under the radar as soon as I see it coming I switch to a recovery book and step away from whatever it is). However, I think it is important to learn more about experiences I can never know for myself even if they are hard, so really appreciate reading books like ‘Open Water’ by Caleb Azumah Nelson about being a young black man in London.
Anne’s note: I edited the text in brackets above because some would certainly find it extremely upsetting. Cheryl, I’m so sorry for what you experienced, and I greatly appreciate you bring that experience and related insights to our comments section.
Thanks, Shannan! Good list. I struggle with “classics.”
Classics are definitely “hard” for me too, sometimes in a different way. Thanks for commenting.
For a long time, I have described myself as a “reading chicken”. I can handle gritty murder mysteries but I have avoided some really great books because of the emotional trauma that people are forced to endure. I started a reading project this year to read some of the books that people love that I have been avoiding due to their length or difficult topics. Thanks for these great suggestions to be more courageous in my reading!!
We can do hard things Janene! Thank you for commenting.
Take My Hand is a must read for people who want to be informed about “our” history. I also tell everyone he/she MUST read Caste. I consider myself educated, but Caste is enlightening and factual, facts some people want to deny/cover up.
Sue, CASTE is on my TBR.
Very insightful suggestions…but I’m not sure I understand the original premise of selecting a book you believe will meet your criteria for “hard”. I read for a multitude of reasons, but primarily escape, enjoyment, enlightenment and education. That being said, I don’t feel the need to force or compel myself to choose (or slog through)subject matter that I find difficult for whatever reason. Daily life is hard enough….I look for respite in my reading!!
For me, reading a “hard” book is the “education” in your reasons for reading. I believe it was Neil Gaiman, who said this or something like it: “Fiction gives us empathy: it puts us inside the minds of other people, gives us the gifts of seeing the world through their eyes.” Right now, I am reading a book about neurodivergence. It’s difficult; I am becoming aware of how my unconscious actions have affected some of my friends and neighbors. But now I know and can hopefully do better. Your astute observation is correct: daily life is hard enough. Reading “hard” books helps me not make someone else’s daily life more difficult. Hopefully this long explanation😁 explains my original premise better. Thank you for being here and thank you for reading.
Shannan, I am a fervent “read the end first” fan. I’m much happier knowing what to expect as I go along in the story.
My suggestion is to find a reading buddy. I have a wonderful friend with whom I read difficult books. The number of times we meet when reading a given book depends on the length and/or the difficulty of the book. The amount of time it takes to read the book is not a limiting factor. It doesn’t matter to us if it takes 3 months, a year, or five years to finish the book. What matters is sharing the experience, being free to explore hard passages, enjoying beautiful sections of the book together – that is our goal. We tend meet every 6 weeks. We have done this for 15 years. It is an incredibly bonding experience AND we have read some fantastic books together.
Teri, I love this! Thank you for the suggestion.
This is so helpful! Thank you for sharing this. I’m about to start Take My Hand. Ut is such a necessity to be aware of real history, but it can be so hard. Now I have a strategy at the ready instead if just tissues!
Thanks Shannan, great post! I had trouble with Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng. She is one of my go to writers but this one was tough. It may be the straw that broke the camel’s back. It may have been, and still do, have a deep problem with how this beloved country is so sorely divided. I think I will go back when and if things calm down. People need to be treated as people.
Rant over.
Thank you for your suggestions Shannan. They were so helpful. I also read a recovery book like you, except I read it after the hard book. Usually I like cozy mysteries so that’s what read after something harder to read.
Great advice, and something I am beginning to need; as I get older, I find more things distress me.
Me too, Loni! Is that because we know more the older we get or what?
Hi Shannon,
Thank you for writing this thoughtful article! As the debut author of an inspiring family story (OF WHITE ASHES) with difficult chapters read (the WWII Japanese American Incarceration and the bombing of Hiroshima), I greatly appreciate you sharing your pearls of wisdom in this posting. Those chapters were difficult to write, as well. Best wishes! Constance Hays Matsumoto
Thanks Shannan! I was with you in that I was a reluctant reader of this book. Your and Valencia’s tips are helping me approach it with an open mind.
Y’all are making me feel so normal after all of these years of feeling a bit guilty about the work-arounds I’d devised to accommodate what I attributed to mental laziness and wimpiness! Every one of them sounds familiar – those from Shannan’s excellent list, and the suggestions of other readers — as does the decision just to approach reading as escapism and stick to what’s strictly enjoyable.
I felt a similar sense of clarity when Anne first brought up the concept of the HSP continuum, many elements of which (and accommodations for which) I recognized in myself.
In both cases I’ve appreciated feeling understood, knowing that I’m in good company, having clarity into those feelings, and having the benefit of excellent suggestions for addressing them. This community has been so therapeutic!
There’s a book a friend referred to me: LAZINESS DOES NOT EXIST by Devon Price. Not sure I entirely agree with the premise, I am an oldest daughter and a child of the 90’s after all, but most of the time, I am learning what is needed is accommodation and consideration. Thank you for reminding me of that!
Thank you so much for sharing this Shannan! I realized that I do many of these things already and it’s a relief to know I’m not the only one who has to peek at the ending for some books. I like the name of ‘recovery book’ too – I’ve always referred to them as my ‘book candy’ but the purpose was always recovery 🙂
Thank you, Shannon, for putting into words what I have learned about my reading self over the years. “…audio has a way of implanting scenes and details into my brain that reading with my eyes does not.” So very true (for me) and why I’ve sometimes switched from audio to print so I can skim over the difficult parts.
Thanks, Susan. I poured over that line for so long: editing it over and over. Glad it resonated. Thank you sharing.
Such helpful tips! Thank you Shannan and Valencia, for sharing these strategies with us. I regularly use the tip about avoiding audio so I can skim if necessary.
Shannan, I so appreciate this post. As a retired high school English teacher, I have read (and taught) many “hard” books that required me to do a great deal of emotional, cultural, and historical scaffolding with my students. A few that come to mind are The Kite Runner, Night, and To Kill a Mockingbird. That said, it is helpful to remember that this “scaffolding” is important for ME as well as I shift my focus to reading for myself–both for entertainment and for enlightenment. I immediately thought of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks when I read the synopsis of this novel. I will likely either re-read that or delve into some of the support materials that you have included in this blog post. I’m glad that I just finished a cute rom-com and am in the midst of Emily Henry’s newest book before diving into another serious historical fiction piece. Can’t wait to discuss this one with this community and hear what the author has to say.
Yes, that is right! A good way to think about it. Thanks for sharing.
Sometimes the comments are as compelling as the post, so thanks to all! I wanted to mention another book that deals with the forced sterilization history as well as role expectations for women: Necessary Lies by Diane Chamberlain.
Kris
Thank you for the list of excellent suggestions. I personally find reading hard material easier than listening or watching. And reading the authors note before hand is a great idea to set the why ..
This is SO helpful. I’ve always just avoided difficult books but this advice inspires me to try one soon. Thank you Shannan!
I am so happy to hear that Jennifer. Let me know what you read.
Thank you, Shannon, for this helpful post! I just finished the excellent book, Demon Copperhead, by Barbara Kingsolver, and it was a “hard read” for me for personal reasons. I found I did better reading it early in the day rather than before I went to sleep as the topics and characters didn’t lend themselves to a restful night of sleep. 😉 After reading your article, I immediately started listening to her interviews and it made me realize even more what an important book it is for us all to understand. Thanks for these tips as they’ll help me to pick up another “hard book” and not shy away from it.
I’m so glad, Susie! Reading early in the day has been a recurring suggestion for me which I am going to incorporate into my strategy. I’m so glad you were able to dive deeper in DEMON COPPERHEAD. Happy Reading!
Great post! I appreciate the tips in both Shannan’s post and the comments. In general, I read for escape and enjoyment so I am not often drawn to hard books, but when I do tackle such a book I read it in print so I can skim through those difficult passages. I agree that it’s much harder to “read” those in an audiobook format. It’s the same reason I just cannot watch some scenes in movies or tv shows; I know they will give me nightmares. I’m thinking about some scenes in the first book/season of the Outlander series… if you know, you know. I like the suggestion to read ahead and knowing that ‘the dog doesn’t die’ (*grin*) helps me get through.
Happy reading!
I can NOT get the scene to which you are referring from OUTLANDER out of my head, no matter how hard I try. Thanks for commenting.
I know! Those scenes get stuck in your head in a not-good way… Aaarrggh!
What a great post! Thank you for the tips!
This is absolute gold! My favorite tips are: learn about why the author chose to tell the story, check out how it ends and plan a recovery book. Viola Davis’ Finding Me was a hard read for me. Knowing more about why she wrote the story, the trigger warning she shared and knowing that it “ends well for her” helped me pay attention to the story she was trying to share. I do wish I had read instead of listened to it. Like you mention some of those scenes are hard to loosen from my brain. I instinctively picked up a dystopian/fantasy/sci-fi ish read (The Measure by Nikki Erlick) after which are my go to. Thanks for sharing!
This was such a great read. Sometimes hard books don’t trouble me and sometimes I definitely need a recovery book. Additionally I loved your suggestion to find interviews with author. As an English teacher I think I’ll add that to my – Be More Deliberate list. Thanks for sharing.
i’m realizing that I can’t read a hard book like I read great fiction. instead i’ll simply read a chapter at a time and then put it down and come back later. i let myself know that this will take awhile and that’s ok. no pressure to read fast or check one more title off the list. being kind to ourselves as readers is such a grace.
Your blog post was insightful, and I am grateful for the new perspectives it offered.
This is super helpful. There are plenty of excellent books that I avoid because it is so hard for me to read disturbing content. Books I feel like I SHOULD read–sometimes I feel like we as a society owe it to bear witness to difficult stories, especially of race-related oppression in a country where it is still playing out every day. But also because I know some books are beautiful in spite of or even because of their ugly parts. I will keep these tips in mind. Thank you.
I love the recovery book tip. I’m always a little hesitant to research a book too much before I read it because I’m worried about spoilers. Anyone else have this hang-up?
Great tips here. I have stopped reading so many books because they’re ‘hard’ to read. For me, I find books hard to read when many characters are introduced and I struggle to remember who is who.
I jumped on to this post thinking it was about subject matters that are hard to comprehend. I know for me – after dealing with the trigger subjects -such as ignorant people who have no wish to be educated – I draw abstract scribbling and color it in. The nonsense of it seems to balance out my frustration. I’ve only been doing this a short time so the novelty may be helpful too. Poetry/Music also helps me move through trigger items as well.
Thank you for this post.
I wonder if reading trigger books in groups out loud to each other? It would be a slower way to take it in with stops and starts ??? The support from others might help.
Thanks for this post!!
Great post and great advice, Shannan! Much needed. I do appreciate hard books, yet sometimes I push them off until I think I’m ready for them. Your tips here will be helpful moving forward!
Hi Shannan – I love these steps for reading “hard” books. Thank you for sharing them. Books that fall into this category for me must be read in the daytime. Reading them at night can disturb my sleep so I reserve them for the day – the light of day helps give me perspective that I don’t always have at night. I too go with a recovery book once I have finished the hard book. The recovery book is almost always a mystery. When a book is too hard, I just permit myself to not finish it – too many books that work better for me. Take care of yourself!