Shy Fashion

Shy Fashion Paradox | Modern Mrs. Darcy

You already know I’m an introvert, but I’m also a recovering shy girl.  And no, they’re not the same thing!

Introverts get their energy from time alone, and interacting with tons of people leaves them feeling depleted.  But shy people–who can be introverts or extroverts–fear being judged negatively by others.

Shyness can present a bit of a fashion problem: what do you do when you want to look nice, but then again, you don’t want people to look at you at all!  And you really don’t want anyone to think ill of your appearance!

Here are some ways to work around the Shy Fashion Paradox:

1.  Dress comfortably.  You’ll be uncomfortable if you’re self-conscious.  You will be self-conscious if you are wearing anything too short/flashy/tight/revealing.  Make sure you’re comfortable in your clothe (and your shoes).

If you’re comfortable in your clothes, and confident they fit well, you’re free to think about other things than your appearance.

2.  Choose undergarments with care.  This may sound silly, but I’m not kidding!  You’ll be much more comfortable if your bra fits well and you’re not worried about panty lines.

3.  Stick to basics, plus personalized accessories.  Simple standards–like a white tee and dark denim–look very nice without crying out for attention, and they’re easy to accessorize with pieces that are as loud–or quiet–as you choose.

4.  When in doubt, err on the side of Classic.  You’ll be more confident in a timeless choice than something that’s aggressively trend-setting.  This goes for clothing, shoes, and hair.

5.  Wear what makes you happy.  You get to choose your clothes, so pick what you want to spend all day wearing!

Are you shy when it comes to fashion?

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  1. Sara says:

    I’ve always thought of my style as Understated Elegance—not that elegant describes the wardrobe a mom of 6 can afford. 😉 But I always gravitate toward quiet stylishness. I did buy a pair of red peep-toe heels a few years ago, which was very unusual, and they really had an impact on my behavior which was much more bold. Since I realized that, I won’t wear them anymore! lol. And yes, I’m a slightly shy, mild extrovert.

  2. nicole says:

    Great tips. I’m somewhere in the middle with fashion. I wouldn’t say I’m shy, but I’m definitely not trying every trend out there. I think you are so right about wearing what makes you feel good–wearing something too revealing or whatever just makes me fidget and draws more attention. I do love clothes though, so I try some new looks.

  3. I am an introvert and I’m shy, too!

    Fortunately years of personal progress have helped me overcome much of my shyness (it still creeps in from time to time). Over the past year I have embraced my inner fashionista and started having a lot more fun with my style. I have been pattern mixing, color blocking, and being creative in the way I dress!

    Your style tips ring true for me as a former shy dresser and as a currently fun & flirty dresser.


  4. deborah says:

    I am not a big group people person. Nope. Not at all. I like time with one or a few friends. I think that’s part of the reason I like blogs. I can interact without being in a huge group-at least in person-if that makes sense! 🙂

    I totally agree about the comfortable clothes…and especially shoes. The way my shoes feel can make a huge difference in my whole feeling!

  5. When I was younger I dressed a bit more dramatically, I love clothes and how they can make me feel. Now as a busy mom and part time teacher, I need comfortable, workable clothes. On Tuesdays I need something that can take me from 7am to 8pm and often later. I enjoy a casually elegant look that I can wear from the classroom to a meeting to dropping off kids at activities and a basketball game. Lucky for me I love the look of leggings or tights with a simple dress scarf and sweater/jacket. I feel I get the best of pants and dresses with this combo, I am comfortable and professional, confident and ladylike. I can move comfortably all day/evening long. I tend to simple basic black and brown, but I do like to highlight things with a new scarf from time to time. My scarf is the outfit changer for me.

  6. Grace says:

    Great tips! I have always been shy and self-conscious about my clothing choices. I would try to follow what was “in,” but then be uncomfortable and hate all the clothes in my closet. This year I’ve started to come into my own. I am a hippie, and I am going to dress in that style because it makes me happy. I have always wanted dreadlocks, and this year I might just get them too. Now that scares me!

  7. Adriana says:

    My fashion is so shy — even I don’t notice it! I usually hide behind my cute kids. During my recent last pregnancy, I didn’t shop for myself once. I lived out of maternity clothes loaned to me by a kind friend.

    Thanks for these great tips. My family acts delighted when I do a little extra for myself. I once had a sense of fashion. Perhaps it will return!

  8. Joi says:

    I don’t consider myself too shy when it comes to fashion, but shier than I have been in the last few years. I am an introvert and trying to recover on the shy, too, so sometimes I bite off more than I want to chew with outfits!

  9. I like classic, comfortable, stylish and modest…all at the same time 🙂 🙂 I think I”m shy sometimes, or more reserved 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂

  10. Betty says:

    Enjoy classic clothes. Definitely shy in a public setting.
    I’m not certain being shy for me is a result of fear of being judged.
    In fact, I fear being judged because I am shy.

    I wonder about the shyness too. Some days I can push
    though and, be quite social. Other times, I can’t wait to
    leave an event, hoping I can get out without having to talk
    to someone. I know this can be perceived as being rude,
    stuck up etc… I worry about that too. Ugh!

  11. Melissa Q says:

    Oh, now I know this is me! I do not like to stand out fashion-wise…. even lipstick makes me feel lIke “here come Melissa’s lips”. And the best haircut is the one not even my husband recognizes happened. Shy fashion, Whaddya know…

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