How to Know Yourself, Determine Your Personal Style, (And Get a Stitch Fix Box You Love)

how to your know yourself determine personal style stitch fix

Despite my love for the Myers-Briggs personality test, it took me years to determine my own personality type. What was holding me back? I (unintentionally) persisted in putting down the answers I wanted to be true, not the ones that actually described me. There was a difference.

Knowing yourself is not as simple as it sounds.

And that brings me to Stitch Fix. A few weeks ago, I received my 3rd fix–and I returned every single item in it. And honestly, I was annoyed. I expected each fix to be better than the last–but Stitch Fix sent me 3 shirts I HATED! (It was so bad I didn’t even take pictures.)

(They did send a plaid buttondown liked, but it cost more than I wanted to spend. In hindsight, I should have just kept it, but that’s another story!)

Determined to get a better “fix” next time, I returned to my style profile to see if it needed any tweaking. And that’s when I discovered my problem: I’d filled out the style profile according to what I wished was true about me–not according to what was actually true.

But last Friday, I got Fix #4–and it was perfect. I kept all 5 things. So what did I change to get such a great fix? I’ll tell you.

How to accurately diagnose your fashion sense and get a Stitch Fix box you love

First of all, Stitch Fix relies on my feedback to style each fix. When I checked out last time, I had to think about my personal style and articulate EXACTLY what didn’t work, and why:

how StitchFix checkout works(I wish I’d captured a screenshot of my feedback on Fix #3. This example is from my latest fix so you can see what the checkout process looks like.)

Then I turned my attention to my style profile, and I immediately realized why they’d sent me blouses I hated: I’d asked for them.

My profile was all over the place. For example, I’d specifically said that I loved and wore “bohemian chic,” but that’s an aspirational answer, not a realistic one. When Stitch Fix sent me bohemian pieces, I tried them–and hated them. With that new information about my personal style, I confidently edited my style profile to focus on classic and casual chic pieces–with a hefty dose of prep.
how to fill out Stitch Fix style profileFrom my updated style profile, after major tweaking. Now it says about classic and casual chic: “This style is me to a tee.” Not sure what “bohemian chic” or “edgy” means? Stitch Fix has a Pinterest board for each style.

Finally, I created a Pinterest board just for my stitch fix stylist, and explained why I pinned each item. (I even pinned a photo of myself. Yeah, I felt like a dork, but I thought it might help my stylist get it right so I did it anyway!)

how I use pinterest boards for stitch fix

 from my Pinterest board Stitch Fix Stylist

And then I made one last special request:
Stitch Fix special request spring

(“I loved the star scarf I saw on instagram! I’d also love pieces that will easily transition to spring.”)


Here’s what was in box #5:
stitch fix spring collage get a fix you love

how to get a stitchfix box you love pretty persuasions scarf

Everly Tulip Print Tab-Sleeve Top // Tea N Rose Rickhouse Ruffle Trim Cardigan // BCBGeneration Teagan Belted 3/4 Sleeve Dress // Pretty Persuasions Star Print Scarf

(Not shown: a bright blue ruffle front tank. I liked the style, but it didn’t fit. But it looked great on my mom–and it’s hanging in her closet now!)

Shortcuts to Knowing Your Personal Style

Determining your personal style is a process. As with all self-knowledge, knowing what works for you and what doesn’t requires a good bit of time, thought, and experimentation.

So embrace the process! Try new things: knowing what you hate is almost as valuable as knowing what you love. Be honest with yourself, and above all–have fun with it.

Want to test-drive Stitch Fix? Here’s what to do.

1. Sign up. You’ll typically be put on a waiting list–I didn’t know this was normal and was bummed to be wait-listed the first time. Expect to wait around 4 weeks, depending on your sizing needs and style preference. (The sooner you sign up, the sooner you’ll be off the waiting list.)

2. Fill out your style profile, answering questions about your lifestyle, body shape, and style preferences. (It took me about 10 minutes.)

3. Schedule your fix. Stitch Fix isn’t a subscription service; you schedule a fix whenever you’re ready.

4. Come back and tell me what you think! I’d love to hear all about your experience.

Recommended Reading: 

My Go-To Shopping Strategy (And How It’s Backfiring on Me at the Moment): If you hate to shop, this post is for you. Don’t skip the comments section on this one!

A Shopping Strategy for Women Who Hate to Shop: All about my first experience with Stitch Fix, including detailed information on the styling cards and style profile, and pictures of what they sent.

First Impressions: Stitch Fix, Round 2. I show you what’s in my second Stitch Fix box, and tell you how my first impressions about it were completely wrong.

Dressing for the Ordinary Days. Why I care about what I wear.

Do you have a good handle on your own personal style? Please share some tips on how you figured it out (or tell us what’s holding you back).

This post contains my affiliate links. Thanks for supporting Modern Mrs Darcy!

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  1. Alissa W says:

    Just did my first stitch fix last week – thanks for this post. I’ve gone in and looked at my profile to make sure it’s not too aspirational. I love this service!

  2. Jaimie says:

    I would love to do this, but I don’t have much spending money for new clothes…nor do I really “need” any. How much does this cost?

    Also, Anne, you look fabulous. I LOVE your hair–it’s so nice to see someone else with bangs and long brown hair like I have (although mine’s a little lighter in color than yours)! You are so beautiful. 🙂 Particularly love the ruffled cardigan, too. 🙂

    • Anne says:

      Jaimie, you are so sweet. Thanks 🙂

      As to cost, you select the price point you’d like in your style profile for each category–how much you’d like to spend for accessories, tops, dresses, etc. I think I have the lowest price point selected for each one (under $50, but my accessories have run $25-$34). I might have $50-$100 selected for dresses right now. You could also emphasize how much you do or don’t want to spend in the special request section when you request a fix.

      The styling fee for a box is $20, and it counts as credit towards whatever you keep (but it’s not refundable if you don’t keep anything). For better or worse, that makes it really easy to keep something from each shipment.

      So far, I’ve received blouses that cost $38-$78, dresses from $48-$98, accessories from $25-$34, and a coat that was over $100.

      • Jaimie says:

        Thanks for the info! 🙂 I think I’ll be sticking with my favorite second-hand store for now, lol… that’s not in our budget as college students, but I will definitely keep it in mind for the future! 🙂

  3. Missy G. says:

    I got my first Stitch Fix last week! It was a fun experience of opening up a box full of surprise items. I loved everything at first glance, but as soon as I tried on each item, my experience quickly went from “Woohoo!” to “Womp womp.” I ended up keeping one item mostly because I didn’t want to lose my $20 credit. It helped that it was the cheapest item, but I probably wouldn’t have bought it after trying it on in a store.

    As soon as I completed my feedback on the box, I went over to my profile to see what I originally answered. I had put “loose” for my preference for tops, and apparently, that means “hide your figure.” The tops they sent me turned my hourglass curves into a rectangle! Hopefully, the tweaks that I made will better work for my next Fix.

    Thanks so much for introducing me to this service though. I seriously love the experience. It’s so nice to have the clothes come to ME! Haha.

  4. Erin says:

    So I got my first Fix last week. It was fine. I kept one shirt. The rest were a little off. I gave very detailed feedback, and hope that the next one is better. It is definitely fun to get and open that box! And it’s hard not to be a little disappointed when you realize they’ve sent you a beige, see-through blouse. What box did I check that sent THAT to me?!?

    How do you tell your stylist you have a Pinerest board? Do you really have the same stylist every time?

    • Anne says:

      Hey Erin! Yes, you can link to a specific Pinterest board. In fact, they recommend that you create a board specifically for Stitch Fix and link to it in your profile under the “social networks” section at the bottom. I’m emailing you a screenshot so you can see.

      I just checked my records–I’ve had two different stylists do my four fixes.

    • Anne says:

      I was hoping I could let the cat out of the bag this week, but it turned out that my little secret needed another few weeks prep time to be really good 🙂

  5. Tim says:

    On taking the MB, it used to be given to every new judge at the annual judges college. The administrator told us not to think about the questions too hard and just breeze through it. That advice – essentially to give in to my inherent laziness! – kept me from trying to figure out the right answer. I wonder if my results would be any different now almost 18 years later?

    • Anne says:

      That’s so interesting that all new judges took the test! You could always re-take it and see what you came up with 18 years later…

    • Anne says:

      Heather, they don’t do maternity at this time. But, I know several women who have done it in the first trimester and postpartum: you can specify “pieces that transition well” and things like that, or “accessories only.”

      Congratulations on your surprise!

  6. HopefulLeigh says:

    So interesting that you’d filled your style profile out aspirationally. I love the idea of making a Pin board just for your stylist. I’m going to start doing that. I liked a lot of what was in my second box but decided to only keep one item because of functionality. I know my style well but I may need to double check my settings, even though I specified my current needs.

    Also, like Blair said, you’re killing me here.

    • Anne says:

      The MBTI geek in me loves the idea of perusing other people’s style profiles!

      The surprise needs a couple more weeks to be really good. 🙂

  7. Emily says:

    I do not have a handle on my personal style at all! I’d love to do Stitch Fix sometime in the future, it seems like a great idea and a lot of fun!

  8. Shana Norris says:

    My personal style has had many faces over the years, often because I aspire to something that looks really great on other people, but when I try it, it just doesn’t FEEL right to me. Both physically and mentally/emotionally.

    It recently occurred to me that there is a particular style that I always tend to revert to and it always feels GREAT when I’m being true to it. I’m not sure how to articulate it, but I’d say it’s somewhat “casual chic” in Stitch Fix terms, heavy on skinny jeans, cardigans, and LOTS of black with other neutral colors such as grey, white, and beige thrown in here and there.

    I also realized that I cannot stand the FEEL of shirts that are too short in the torso, legs or arms. I hope Gap never stops making their clothing in “Tall.”

    • Anne says:

      Shana, that’s awesome that you have a style that you feel GREAT in!

      And “Amen!” to Gap Tall. I prefer the sleeves on my long-sleeved shirts to go all the way to my wrists, thank you very much. 🙂

  9. Grace says:

    Gah! These Stitch Fix posts nearly drive me crazy with envy. I live in Canada, so I can’t do it. I was wondering, however, if you can specify certain types brands and things like that? I only purchase clothing made in Canada/USA/some of Europe or certified as fair trade to prevent any support of forced or child labour. Would a person be able to make a request such as that? Maybe one day they’ll open up to Canada.

      • Anne says:

        Stitch Fix sources from many small manufacturers and this request strikes me as totally doable. I’ve received great answers to my specific questions from Stitch Fix when I email them at [email protected].

        (That’s a GREAT New Year’s resolution, Kristi!)

  10. Sarah says:

    Thanks for the advice, Anne! I love the concept of Stitch Fix and got my first “fix” earlier this month…with much disappointment! 🙁 The only thing I kept was a pair of earrings! But after reading your post, you’ve got me thinking…maybe I did the same thing you did. I remember stating that I really liked some styles that in reality I *never* wear! So…I’ll see how Stitch Fix #2 goes but if I’m disappointed yet again, I’m going to re-visit my profile. And love the idea of making a Pinterest board for them too!

    On another note, you look great in all your new stuff! 🙂

    • Anne says:

      Thanks, Sarah! And making the Pinterest board was their idea, not mine! I’m on Pinterest anyway, so I figured if they recommended it I might as well give it a try. 🙂

  11. Delphine says:

    Whoa! This is awesome! I like shopping in the suburbs but I live in NYC and I’m a highly sensitive type. The lights, noise and crowds exhaust me so I almost never shop. This seems like a really fun solution.

    Also, Anne, you look really pretty in those pictures!

  12. Anne- congrats on finding a Fix that worked! As you know, I kept all 5 of my first fix. Indeed, I’m wearing a shirt from the Fix right now. I got in touch with the company to write about them for an article, and learned that the average customer returns about 3 items in each Fix. No one ever keeps 4 items (there’s no point with the 25% discount for keeping all 5!) They’re trying to stay ahead of the dressing room ratio. The average woman will take like 10 items into a dressing room and be thrilled if she gets 1. So as long as the average customer keeps more than that, it’s all good. I asked for mostly pants and skirts in my next fix, which I know will be tougher to get right.

    • Anne says:

      Fascinating! Thanks for sharing. Of course no one ever keeps 4 items (it would have cost me more to keep the 4 I wanted than keep all 5!) but I wasn’t sure what was “average.” And I had no idea what the average shopper’s dressing room ratio was.

      I asked for skirts in my next fix, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

  13. Ellie says:

    I tried Stitch Fix after reading about it on your blog and I was so disappointed with my first two boxes I had given up. Then I read this post and decided to give them one more shot. My third fix arrived last night and I loved it! Thank you so much for this post!

  14. Cari says:

    I really hate shopping and getting dressed everyday (because I hate shopping and have boring clothes). After seeing your post about Stitch Fix, I signed up right away and received my first box today. I love all of the clothes except for the dress they sent. I will wear the dress (would be silly to send it back since it’s free with the discount) but I will just have to find a belt or a jacket to go with it. Except for the jeans (which are so comfy and soft), I would have never picked any of the other items out in a store. I also love the cards they send with the item dressed up or dressed down.

  15. Nicole says:

    Great ideas, thanks!! I’ve been wanting to do it for about a year probably, and finally took the plunge and signed up. I’m taking your tips to heart and beefing up my style board on Pinterest, too. 🙂

  16. Catie says:

    OK, I’m FINALLY going to check this out! I’m like you; there’s the style I THINK I am vs. what I actually wear – which is usually what I can afford. 😉 I think I might see if I could make this an early birthday present to myself. It seems so fun and worthwhile! It’s so hard to find time to really shop these days so this sounds wonderful.

    I love your hair, btw. I wish I could pull off those bangs, but they seem so high-maintenance to me. How often do you have to trim?

    • Anne says:

      Thank you! And hmmm. There’s a big difference between how often I should trim and how often I do. I probably do every four weeks or so, but if things get desperate I do teeny tiny baby snips off the bottom myself.

      My stylist doesn’t charge for between-appt bang trims. It’s just a matter of getting myself to her place!

  17. Lisa says:

    I don’t do Stitch Fix, but I recently went through my overstuffed wardrobe asking myself if things sparked joy (cause I just read you-know-who as my “Book you can read in a day.”) Next to nothing kicked up any feelings of glee when I held it up and I couldn’t figure out why until I read this post. I’ve been buying far too much based on my aspirational wardrobe, picking up little cheap things that I wished I liked all over the place. I think I was afraid to spend real money on them, knowing somewhere inside that they were more of an experiment than my “true style”. Turns out this in fact detracts from my joy rather than sparking it. Thank you for giving words to how I was feeling!

    A Marie Kondo aside: while I found the book helpful, I feel much more compelled to actually change my over consumption habits by reading it in tandem with Jen Hatmaker’s book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

  18. Debi says:

    I’d like to sign up for Stitch Fix but would like to make a Pinterest board first. Do I need to post items from Stitch Fix only? Also do you have a link I can click on so you can get credit when I sign up? Thanks!

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