My answers to 21 frequently asked questions

Readers, it was recently brought to my attention that my FAQ page was woefully out of date, and so today, I’m finally brushing up my answers to commonly asked questions, as well as answering new questions for the first time.

Why is this blog called Modern Mrs Darcy?

It’s a riff on Pride and Prejudice, and Elizabeth Bennet’s married name. I like the name because it captures what I like to do here: explore the intersection of the timeless and the timely. But am not Mrs. Darcy, nor do I play her on the internet. You can learn more about me here.

How do you find time to read so much?

This is the single question I get asked the most. In short, reading is my favorite hobby, my HSP escape, my introvert coping strategy of choice, and lots of fun for a person who loves to—in the words of Emily Dickinson—dwell in possibility. My specific tips and strategies are here.

How do you find good book deals?

Nearly every day, my team and I share great book deals—mostly ebook, but sometimes audio and paper books—on the MMD deals page. Either I get lucky or somebody tells me. Sometimes I stumble on them, sometimes authors and publishers email me, sometimes readers let me know. We curate our list of sale titles with WSIRN listeners and MMD readers in mind. You can find those listed on the site each morning or sign up to get a daily email digest.

How do you get your books, and how do you buy books without blowing your budget?

Because I hate clutter and I live near a library, I borrow most of my books. Here’s how I decide what to buy and what to borrow. This hasn’t always been the case, but these days I also receive plenty of complimentary advanced copies from publishers.

How can I get Advanced Review Copies for myself?

The short version: I recommend you ask nicely, build relationships with publishers, and say thank you. Writing thoughtful reviews doesn’t hurt. And definitely check out Netgalley—it’s easier and less costly for publishers to share digital galleys than physical ones.

For a more detailed response, we devoted a one-hour session to this topic as part of our Summer of Experts in the MMD Book Club. This session, called “How to Get Your Hands on Advanced Review Copies,” is available for members to watch anytime.

What is Quick Lit?

It’s a monthly post (typically on the 15th) where I share short reviews of what I’ve been reading lately, and invite my fellow readers to do the same. In the comments, you can link to a blog post, an Instagram post, or simply write a few notes about what you’ve been reading lately. Check out the latest Quick Lit post here.

What’s that chocolate cake you’re always talking about? 

It’s amazing, inspired by a book, and it’s right here.

Will you review my book on your blog?

Regular readers know I always have a stack of books by my bedside table, and another one waiting at my library. Too many books, too little time. I love to read, but sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming. And I can’t possibly read all the books I receive—there simply isn’t time.

If you have a book you’d like me to review, have your publisher or publicist send me a copy. I’m more likely to read physical books than ebooks (because I can see them and don’t forget about them). If I like it and think it would be a good fit for my readers, it may make its way into a post or get recommended on What Should I Read Next?–though as regular readers know, I hardly ever post full book reviews.

I’m thinking of starting a blog. Can you give me some tips? Is it too late to start a blog?

Go for it! My favorite blogging tips are from sports talk radio. And you are not late.

What’s your personality type?

Ah, you’re singing my song. In fact, I wrote a book about my exploration of (obsession with) various personality typing systems. If you just want to know my type I’m an INFP, an Enneagram type 9, and an HSP.

I heard you had a newsletter?

Yes! More on that here. This is the place where I share personal stories, and highlights of what I’ve been working on, like this favorite recent example.

I’d love to see you in person. How can I find out about your events and travel schedule?

I’d love to see you, too! Please check out my event schedule here.

What’s that lipstick you were wearing on Instagram?

I get a surprising number of questions about my lipstick—especially surprising because I am NOT a makeup person. If you’re asking about my lipstick, it’s because I’m wearing one of the same three bold colors I’ve been wearing for years: Nars matte lip pencil in Cruella, Sephora cream lip stain in Vintage Rosewood (41), or Bobbi Brown lip color in Rose Berry (26).

What is the MMD Book Club?

This is the place where we are learning to read better, together, through community, classes, and conversation. Each month we read and discuss a core monthly book selection, plus one or more optional book flight picks, plus enjoy classes and discussions that help us build the skills of the reading life. More on that below.

What is the difference between the What Should I Read Next Patreon community and the MMD Book Club?

Both groups abound in bookish enthusiasm and community. Our What Should I Read Next patreon community is podcast-centered: we share peeks behind the scenes, bonus episodes, and outtakes and commentary about the show. We also invite our members to influence future episodes with their suggestions and poll and survey responses.

The MMD Book Club is the place where we are learning to read better, together. We host community, classes, and conversation in that place, as well as purposefully seek to build the skills of the reading life, whether that means learning to choose good books for our own enjoyment, exploring different methods of book journaling, learning to write better reviews or request Advanced Review Copies from publishers, or make reading resolutions for the New Year.

I'd Rather Be Reading

Tell me about your books! And how do I get a signed copy?

I’ve written three books. The first is Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything, and it’s for any reader who wants to explore just what it is that makes you uniquely YOU—and why that matters. The second is my book for book lovers, a pretty little hardcover called I’d Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life. The third is coming in March 2020 and is called Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life. I promise to tell you all about it in the months to come.

You can order a signed—and even personalized—copy from my local indie, Carmichael’s Bookstore. Order online or even ring them up at 502-896-6950. Just tell them you’d like a signed copy, or put “signed copy” in the order comments, along with the name you’d like it inscribed to, and any other personal message you’d like me to write.

Can you give me personalized book recommendation?

I get A TON of requests for personalized book recommendations. I wish I could personally respond to them all but it would be my full-time job. (I’m not kidding.) To help readers scratch that readerly itch, for the past couple of years we’ve posted reader recommendation requests on our What Should I Read Next Instagram account so your fellow readers can load you up with book recs. From travel destinations to life circumstances, you can find all of the past requests at #WSIRNReaderRecs. You can submit your request here.

How can I be a guest on What Should I Read Next?

The majority of our guests are what our listeners have come to call “regular readers”—people who aren’t authors or publishing professionals, but who simply love to read, and are willing to talk about their reading life with me (as a whole bunch of their fellow readers listen in). If you’re interested in coming on the show, please fill out the guest application form here.

When we choose guests for the show, we are striving to feature a huge range of readers; we’re looking for variety in book loves and hates, life circumstances, age and experience, geography and ethnicity.

Head here for more podcast FAQs.

What are your favorite bookstores?

Choosing favorites is so hard! Of course I have great affection for my local, Carmichael’s Bookstore. I’ve also blogged about my favorite indies: check out 6 favorite independent bookstores, What’s your favorite independent bookstore?, My bookstore tour of NYC, and My favorite indie bookstores.

I also wrote about some favorites from book tour—as well as what I learned about bookstores and their personalities—in my post 10 things I learned on book tour.

I’m traveling soon. Can you recommend a bookstore I should visit?

Sometimes I can, but I only know about a fraction of the great indies! Let me tell you what I do when I travel: I use the great indie bookstore locator tool on Click here to check it out.

I’m coming to Louisville. What should I do while I’m there?

Yay! I’m excited you’re coming to visit my town. I wrote a whole blog post about that right here.

Do you have a question that I didn’t answer here? Please share in comments and I’ll give it my best shot. (If it’s about the podcast, hold tight—we’ve got a WSIRN version coming soon. If you want to read those questions and answers when they’re published, please click here to make sure you’re signed up for the podcast email newsletter.)


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  1. Megan says:

    Oh my goodness, your forthcoming book sounds like it is written for me. I research EVERYTHING to death, end up exhausted and often dissatisfied. If you want an early reviewer, I’d love to!~

  2. Denise says:

    I had a feeling you homeschooled your children. You seem so unfrazzeled. I too raised 4 children and wish I had the guts to homeschool them. My children are well educated but find themselves getting overwhelmed by commitments. Like mother, like child. I am so happy I found your blog. You bring more to my mind then just great books.

  3. Jennifer Geisler says:

    A thank you for the daily ebook deal recommendations! Since I signed up, I have purchased more books than ever in my life, but the price is always right (cheap!) and best of all, I am more than likely to love the book because it was based on one of your recommendations! I love to load up my eReader for trips!

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