Modern Mrs. Darcy Life Lessons From Green Gables

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Jun
3

Revisiting Rilla of Ingleside

by Anne

Regular Modern Mrs Darcy readers know that I’m an Anne of Green Gables fan. I greatly enjoyed re-reading the series this spring and writing the popular Life Lessons from Green Gables series. But somehow, I always lose steam before making it to Rilla of Ingleside, the 8th and final book in the Anne series. Well, not this year. I opened my copy and thoroughly enjoyed re-reading Rilla for the first time in over 10 years.

Rilla of Ingleside tells the story of Anne’s youngest daughter Rilla (namesake of Marilla Cuthbert) and her coming of age during World War I in Canada. Rilla is 15 when the book opens–giddy, giggly, and full of life–but her mother laments her lack of ambition. Rilla’s sole purpose in life is to have a good time.

But then the war begins in a far-off land, and before long Canadian boys–including Rilla’s brother Jem and some dear family friends–are suiting up in khaki and shipping overseas to fight for the Allies. The book chronicles the war from the perspective of the Canadian homefront (and is a very engaging history lesson).

Wartime brings its challenges, and young Rilla is stretched in ways unimaginable in peacetime. But in wartime, a girl has to do what a girl has to do, and Rilla rises to meet challenges big and small–from disarming petty girlish feuds to raising an orphaned war-baby. The war lasts four-and-a-half long years, and Rilla comes out the other side a strengthened, deepened woman.

There’s a lot to like about Rilla of Ingleside. L. M. Montgomery’s heart was in this book–published in 1921, when the battle was still fresh in the minds and hearts of her readers. The female characters are strong and sympathetic–with lots of pluck, to boot!

But I have my reservations about Rilla.

L. M. Montgomery has woven a love story through this little novel–a satisfying one, on one level. 15-year-old Rilla is smitten with Ken Ford, the son of Anne’s dear friend Leslie (Moore) Ford of Anne’s House of Dreams. There is something very fitting (and very romantic) about a Blythe girl falling for Ken–a circle being completed.

And completed it is. Ken indeed loves Rilla–but why? Because she’s pretty? Mrs. Montgomery, surely you could have done better than this!

Now, we know the merits of Rilla Blythe–not the giddy and giggly 15-year-old, but the woman she becomes. And I want to believe that Ken, who has known the Blythe family his entire life, loves her as she deserves, and not as just a pretty face. But Montgomery doesn’t say that at all–she says he loved her because she was beautiful.

I don’t object to Rilla being pretty–a beautiful heroine does make for a good story. But I do object to her winning the man of her dreams based on looks alone–a story line that’s far more Disney princess than Anne of Green Gables. I’ve heard Rilla recommended as a great read-aloud for young girls, but I’m not sure I want my impressionable daughter hearing this story anytime soon–I don’t want my daughter to think her future marital happiness depends on beauty alone.

Rilla had so much depth of character to plumb–if only L. M. Montgomery had done more with it!

Have you read Rilla of Ingleside? What’s your take? If you need to refresh your memory–or dive in for the first time–a free Kindle edition is available at amazon.com.

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33 Categories : Books & Reading, Relationships & Family, Women of Literature

May
4

Go After Your Girl Like Gilbert Blythe

by Anne

Gilbert Blythe would land near the top of any list of charming men of literature. Many a girl has swooned over Gilbert, with his “curly brown hair, roguish hazel eyes, and a mouth twisted into a teasing smile.” What would Anne of Green Gables be without Anne’s longtime rival and friend?

We cheer Gilbert as he chases Anne for three books before he finally gets the girl in Anne of the Island. (Finally!) Even if Gilbert is a fiction dreamed-up in Maud Montgomery’s head, it’s still fun to speculate on what his advice may be to other boys who were once in his shoes. Here’s what I think he would say:

If you make a terrible first impression, don’t despair. Gilbert reached across the aisle, picked up the end of Anne’s long red braid, held it out at arm’s length, and said in a piercing whisper: ‘Carrots! Carrots!’….’You mean, hateful boy!’ [Anne] exclaimed passionately. ‘How dare you!’ And then–Thwack! Anne had brought her slate down on Gilbert’s head and cracked it–slate, not head–clear across.
Choose the right girl. There’s no use in getting the girl if she’s not the one meant for you! But Gilbert and Anne “were made and meant for each other. It’s a fact.’
Be your own man. Gilbert was a clever young fellow, with his own thoughts about things and a determination to get the best out of life and put the best into it.
Be her hero. Diana gasped: ‘Oh, Anne–we thought–you were–drowned…oh, Anne, how did you escape?’ ‘I climbed up on one of the piles,’ exclaimed Anne wearily, ‘and Gilbert Blythe came along in Mr. Andrews’s dory and brought me to land.’ ‘Oh, Anne, how splendid of him! Why, it’s so romantic!’
Apologize when you do something stupid. ‘Anne,’ [Gilbert] said hurriedly, ‘look here. Can’t we be good friends? I’m awfully sorry I made fun of your hair that time….I think your hair is awfully pretty now–honest I do. Let’s be friends.’
Be her friend. ‘We are going to be the best of friends,’ said Gilbert.’We were born to be good friends, Anne. You’ve thwarted destiny long enough.’
Be worthy of her love. [Gilbert] had made up his mind that his future must be worthy of its goddess….he meant to keep himself worthy of her friendship and some distant day her love; and he watched over word and thought and deed as jealously as if her clear eyes were to pass in judgment on it.
Good looks don’t hurt. Anne thought Gilbert was a very handsome lad, even if he didn’t look at all like her ideal man.
Follow her lead. Don’t move too fast! Gilbert made this mistake more than once before he wised up and became “exceedingly careful to give none [of the other boys] the advantage over him by any untimely display of his real feelings Anne-ward. To her he had become again the boy-comrade of Avonlea days, and as such could hold his own against [anyone].”
Sometimes it’s not you; it’s her. Phil scolds Anne after she refuses Gilbert the first time: “You are an idiot, Anne Shirley! You don’t know love when you see it.’
Try, try, try again. ‘I asked you a question over two years ago, Anne. If I ask it again today will you give me a different answer?’

I know you’re dying to see Gilbert in action after hearing his wise words about love, so enjoy this video of the scene where it all began. As Gilbert said, “There was nobody else–there never could be anybody else for me but you. I’ve loved you ever since that day you broke your slate over my head in school.”

This post is from the series Life Lessons from Green Gables. View the other posts here:

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photo credit: Sullivan Entertainment
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10 Categories : Books & Reading, Relationships & Family, Women of Literature

Apr
26

Life Lessons from Green Gables: Learning to Mellow Like Marilla Cuthbert

by Anne

Have you ever known someone with a cold personality? Someone who seemed to have a hard edge, who was gruff and standoffish? That would describe Marilla Cuthbert. Marilla was often cross. She was sarcastic. She spoke unpleasant things easily, but she struggled terribly to speak from her heart. Well, that was Marilla Cuthbert before Anne Shirley came to Green Gables:

Marilla was a tall, thin woman, with angles and without curves; her dark hair showed some grey streaks and was always twisted up in a hard little knot behind with two wire hairpins stuck aggressively through it. She looked like a woman of narrow experience and rigid conscience, which she was; but there was a saving something about her mouth which, if it had been ever so slightly developed, might have been considered indicative of a sense of humor.

Poor Marilla! L. M. Montgomery’s portrait of Anne’s adoptive mother is hardly flattering, but at least she has a saving grace. (I can’t read those words without picturing Colleen Dewhurst. If you’ve seen the film, then surely you understand!) Maud Montgomery isn’t done painting Marilla’s portrait yet, though. When Anne Shirley arrives at Green Gables, Marilla puts her up in the east gable room, which she has decorated herself–and it perfectly matches Marilla’s personality:

The whitewashed walls were so painfully bare and staring that [Anne] thought they must ache over their own bareness….The whole apartment was of a rigidity not to be described in words, but which sent a shiver to the very marrow of Anne’s bones.

We don’t know if Marilla herself knew how cold and rigid her personality was. But we do know that Marilla was about to make a big change, whether she wanted to or not!

How did Marilla’s journey to gentleness begin?

Do the right thing

It began out of a sense of duty. She didn’t see the opportunity for love and happiness; she saw another human being desperate for aid it seemed only she could provide. Marilla and Matthew intended to adopt a boy to help with the farm labor. But Marilla was moved with pity by Anne and her plight, and agreed to Matthew’s wish to keep her. ”It seems a sort of duty,” she said.

Face reality

Anne Shirley came to Green Gables full of life, and curiosity, and opinions–which Anne offered innocently enough, but they forced Marilla to see things around her in a different light–a truer light. Anne freed Marilla to think honestly about people and situations around her for perhaps the first time, and this was tremendously freeing to Marilla. When Anne comments that she didn’t think the minister seemed interested in talking to God when praying at church that morning:

“Marilla felt helplessly that all this should be sternly reproved, but she was hampered by the undeniable fact that some of the things Anne had said…were what she herself had really thought deep down in her heart for years, but she had never given expression to. It almost seemed to her that those secret, unuttered, critical thoughts had suddenly taken visible and accusing shape in the person of this outspoken morsel of neglected humanity.”

Marilla Cuthbert could not have had a better foil than Anne Shirley. Anne put to words the things Marilla always thought, but couldn’t say–and Marilla was a better person for admitting these things to herself. You can’t change anything if you can’t admit to yourself what things are really like.

Laugh

Marilla may have had the glimmerings of a sense of humor before, but Anne brought laughter to Marilla’s life like no one she had ever known. Marilla’s laughter was genuine and kind–not bitter or cruel–and it did much to soften her heart. Anne provided Marilla with abundant opportunities for laughter:

“Whatever’s the matter now, Anne?” [Marilla] asked.

“It’s about Diana, sobbed Anne luxuriously. ”I love Diana so, Marilla. I cannot ever live without her. But I know very well when we grow up that Diana will get married and go away and leave me. And oh, what shall I do? I hate her husband–I just hate him furiously. I’ve been imagining it all out–the wedding and everything–Diana dressed in snowy garments, with a veil, and looking regal as a queen; and me the bridesmaid, with a lovely dress too, and puffed sleeves, but with a breaking heart hid beneath my smiling face. And then bidding Diana good-bye-e-e’ Here Anne broke down entirely and wept with increasing bittnerness.”

Marilla turned quickly away to hide her twitching face; but it was no use; she collapsed on the nearest chair and burst into such a hearty and unusual peal of laughter that Matthew, crossing the yard outside, halted in amazement. When had he heard Marilla laugh like that before?

Love

Marilla brought Anne into her home out of a sense of obligation, but it wasn’t long before Marilla had other reasons for being glad that Anne had stayed at Green Gables:

Anne cast herself into Marilla’s arms and rapturously kissed her sallow cheek. It was the first time in her whole life that childish lips had voluntarily touched Marilla’s face. Again that sudden sensation of startling sweetness thrilled her. She was secretly vastly pleased at Anne’s caresses, which was probably the reason why she said brusquely:

“There, there, never mind your kissing nonsense.”

(She is still Marilla Cuthbert, after all!) But love forces you to let your guard down. Love softens you. And Marilla needed softening. She needed love.

Reflect

When Anne asked Marilla on the anniversary of her coming to Green Gables,

“Are you sorry you kept me, Marilla?”

“No, I can’t say I’m sorry,” said Marilla, who sometimes wondered how she could have lived before Anne came to Green Gables, “no, not exactly sorry.”

But this was nothing compared to Marilla’s reaction after Anne fell off the ridgepole of Mr. Barry’s roof after accepting Josie Pye’s dare:

Marilla was out in the orchard picking a panful of summer apples when she saw Mr. Barry coming over the log bridge and up with slope….In his arms he carried Anne, whose head lay limply against his shoulder.

At that moment Marilla had a revelation. In the sudden stab of fear that pierced to her very heart she realized what Anne had come to mean to her. She would have admitted that she liked Anne–nay, that she was very fond of Anne. But now she knew as she hurried wildly down the slope that Anne was dearer to her than anything on earth.”

Seize the moment

After Matthew died suddenly, Marilla was able to tell Anne in words how she truly felt about her.

“Oh, Anne, I know I’ve been strict and harsh with you maybe–but you musn’t think I didn’t love you as well as Matthew did, for all that. I want to tell you now when I can. It’s never been easy for me to say things out of my heart, but at times like this it’s easier. I love you as dear as if you were my own flesh and blood and you’ve been my joy and comfort ever since you came to Green Gables.

We all have times when we let down our guards and are more apt to speak from our hearts. Seize those moments.

You don’t have to be perfect

Marilla’s personality softened considerably after Anne came to Green Gables, but she was still Marilla. She was still plain and sensible, still a bit rigid, and certainly not perfect. But Marilla meant everything to Anne. You don’t have to be perfect.

Stand back and see how far you’ve come

After Anne had been at Green Gables a few years, “crispness was no longer Marilla’s distinguishing characteristic.” But that’s what it had taken–years. The change was real, though–and so notable that even Rachel Lynde remarked, “Marilla Cuthbert has got mellow.”

So if you feel you could use a little softening, love, laugh, and give yourself a little grace. But start the change process so you too can look back at how far you’ve come. Just like Marilla.

This post is the third in the series Life Lessons from Green Gables. Click here to view the previous posts:

Lessons in Tact from Rachel Lynde.

Don’t Be a Drama Queen, and Other Lessons in Friendship from Anne Shirley.

Go After Your Girl Like Gilbert Blythe.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be delighted if you’d subscribe to my feed: in a reader or by email.

11 Categories : Books & Reading, Way With Words, Women of Literature

Apr
19

Don’t Be a Drama Queen, and Other Lessons in Friendship from Anne Shirley

by Anne

Anne Shirley arrived at Green Gables, 11 years old and without a friend in the world except Katie Maurice in the looking glass. But Anne was made for friendship–Maud Montgomery said she had a “genius” for it–and when the lonely orphan is suddenly transplanted to a new world with Marilla and Matthew, we readers get to watch as she draws a sweet circle of friends around her throughout the Anne of Green Gables series.

She found her longed-for bosom friend in Diana Barry (“A what kind of friend?” asked Marilla. “A bosom friend–an intimate friend, you know–a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul.”), Avonlea friends Jane Andrews and Ruby Gillis, and what would Anne of the Island be without Priscilla Grant, Stella Maynard and Philipa Gordon? (As for her “beautiful comradeship” with Gilbert Blythe? Stay tuned…)

But before Anne was to have those rich friendships in Avonlea, the lonely orphan spent many friendless years pining for love and companionship. She imagined what it would be like to have a real friend; she dreamed that she might one day. She yearned for a bosom friend–she’d “dreamed of meeting her all my life.“ But she had no way of knowing if those wishes would ever come true.

We can learn a lot about friendship from Anne Shirley. She had the knack for it, of course, but there’s something else, too. Those lonely early years prepared her to appreciate what a gift friendship truly is, and she didn’t take it for granted. In Anne’s words, “I’m so thankful for friendship. It beautifies life so much.”

You can be a kindred spirit, too–Anne would be pleased to show you how to be a better friend:

Assume the best about people until proven otherwise. “A merchant in Hopetown last winter donated three hundred yards of wincey to the asylum . Some people said it was because he couldn’t sell it, but I’d rather believe that it was out of the kindness of his heart,wouldn’t you?”
Be on the lookout for friends. “ I felt that [Matthew] was a kindred spirit as soon as I ever saw him.”
First impressions can be wrong. “Miss Barry was a kindred spirit after all, Anne confided to Marilla. “You wouldn’t think so to look at her, but she is. You don’t find it right out at first, as in Matthew’s case, but after a while you come to see it.”
Give freely. “I can give Diana half [my chocolate], can’t I? The other half will taste twice as sweet to me if I give some to her. It’s delightful to think I have something to give her.”
Bring something to the table. “Anne was welcomed back to school with open arms. Her imagination had been sorely missed in games, her voice in the singing, and her dramatic ability in the perusal aloud of books at dinner hour.”
Be modest. “I’ve a compliment for you, Anne,” said Diana….“We heard [the distinguished artist] say ‘Who is that girl on the platform with the splendid Titian hair? She has a face I should like to paint.’ There now, Anne. But what does Titian hair mean?” “Being interpreted it means plain red, I guess,” laughed Anne.”
Look for the best in others; give your best to them. “If we have friends we should look only for the best in them and give them the best that is in us, don’t you think?”
Don’t be a drama queen. “Anne never stooped to the petty practices of so many of the Avonlea girls–the small jealousies, the little deceits and rivalries, the palpable bids for favor.”
Bring out the best in others. Says Philipa, “When you look at me in a certain way…I long to be better and wiser and stronger.“
Don’t be jealous of your friends. “Anne, there’s one thing in particular I like about you–you’re so ungrudging. There isn’t a particle of envy in you.”

How do you treat your friends? Are you on the lookout for new ones? Remember, “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”

This post is the second in the series Life Lessons from Green Gables. Click here to view the other posts in the series:

Lessons in Tact from Rachel Lynde.

Learning to Mellow Like Marilla Cuthbert.

Go After Your Girl Like Gilbert Blythe.

Revisiting Rilla of Ingleside.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be delighted if you’d subscribe to my feed: in a reader or by email.
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30 Categories : Books & Reading, Relationships & Family, Way With Words, Womanly Skills

Apr
12

Lessons in Tact from Rachel Lynde

by Anne

Tact is underrated these days, when blunt honesty seems to be valued above all else. But being honest need not require rudeness. Tact is the ability to say what you think while valuing the other person as well. Tact goes by many names–diplomacy, sensitivity, discretion, savoir faire–whatever you call it, it is the ability to make your point in a kind manner, even if your message is itself unpleasant. The accomplished woman–or anyone who’s accomplished at people skills–knows how to make her point in such a way that she doesn’t offend the other person.

If you’re at all acquainted with Anne of Green Gables, then Rachel Lynde is no doubt familiar to you as the busybody neighbor who insults Anne so cruelly when she first arrives in Avonlea. Even L. M. Montgomery had to resort to sarcasm to describe Mrs. Lynde: “Mrs Rachel was one of those delightful and popular people who pride themselves on speaking their mind without fear or favour.”

Rachel Lynde was one of those people who valued blunt honesty above all else. She lacked tact–which meant she was insulting friends and neighbors all over town with her lack of regard for the feelings of others. The citizens of Avonlea doubtless wished Mrs. Rachel had better control of her tongue. If she ever asked their advice, they would have wanted her to know these tips to improve her social graces:

Don’t give harsh criticism under the guise of being “honest.” Mrs. Lynde criticizes Anne cruelly upon their first meeting: “Well, they didn’t pick you for your looks, that’s sure and certain…. She’s terrible skinny and homely, Marilla. Come here, child, and let me have a look at you. Lawful heart, did anyone ever see such freckles? And hair as red as carrots!”
Don’t be alarmist. “Well, I hope it will turn out all right,’ said Mrs. Rachel in a tone that plainly indicated her painful doubts. ‘Only don’t say I didn’t warn you if he burns Green Gables down or puts strychnine in the well.”
Don’t be a busybody. “Few things in Avonlea ever escaped Mrs. Lynde. It was only that morning Anne had said, ‘If you went to your own room at midnight, locked the door, pulled down the blind, and sneezed, Mrs. Lynde would ask you the next day how your cold was!’”
Don’t give advice unless asked. “Mrs. Lynde dearly loved to be asked for advice.” Mrs. Lynde could truly give excellent advice–but it doesn’t do any good to dole out good advice if nobody wants to hear it. Wait to be asked.
Give advice in limited quantities. According to Anne, “[Mrs. Lynde's] advice is much like pepper, I think … excellent in small quantities but rather scorching in her doses.”
Don’t nag. In the words of Marilla, “I sometimes think she’d have more of an influence for good…if she didn’t keep nagging people to do right. There should have been a special commandment against nagging.”
Don’t kick ‘em when they’re down. “You’re too heedless and impulsive, child, that’s what. You never stop to think.” Anne is already well aware of this and has already confessed as much. Rachel’s just piling it on.
Don’t be more attentive to other people’s affairs than your own. “Thomas Lynde lay more on the lounge nowadays than he had been used to do, but Mrs. Rachel, who was so sharp at noticing anything beyond her own household, had not as yet noticed this.”
Do know when to hold your tongue. Amazingly, Mrs. Lynde did sometimes manage to keep her mouth shut. In her own words: “The way Marilla dresses [Anne] is positively ridiculous, that’s what, and I’ve ached to tell her so plainly a dozen times. I’ve held my tongue though, for I can see Marilla doesn’t want advice.”
Do admit when you’re wrong. Mrs. Lynde was not above an apology: “When I went home that night [three years ago] I says to Thomas, says I, ‘Mark my words, Thomas, Marilla Cuthbert’ll live to rue [adopting Anne].’ But I was mistaken and I’m real glad of it. I ain’t one of those kind of people, Marilla, as can never be brought to own up that they’ve made a mistake….I did make a mistake in judging Anne.”

If reading about Rachel Lynde’s tactlessness has whetted your appetite to see her in action, you’ll enjoy this video, or you can read more L. M. Montgomery with these Free L. M. Montgomery downloads from amazon.com