My family is just back from a week at the beach.
After a whirlwind spring, we took off on my youngest child’s last day of school for a little family getaway. My second-born just graduated from high school, which means we now have two college-aged kids, plus one each in high school and middle school. This trip was wedged between a college May term and internships and scads of summer obligations for all four of them. Am I feeling more than a little wistful about what feels like a big transition? Definitely maybe. But I am also so thankful we could have this time together, and thankful we’re able to have the following conversation at all.
With two pandemic-related exceptions, we’ve been visiting the same town on the Florida panhandle annually since my oldest child was four years old and my second-born was one. Now we have four kids, the oldest are twenty and eighteen. They don’t remember a time before the beach.
I know everybody says blogging is over (maybe we should talk about that soon?) but I love my blog, and I’m deeply grateful for its time capsule nature. Almost exactly ten years ago, when my kids were much younger but still had an established history with “our” beach, I wrote about the concept of falling in love with a specific place, whether that place is a beach town, big city, a restaurant, a park. I think the same concept applies to things like books and sports teams: we may be inclined to love a certain something, but there’s an element of choice in truly making it ours.
That blog post (which appears in its entirety below) ran ten years ago, but I think of it every time I return to a place I love, to one I’m tempted to consider making mine. Since 2013, Will and I have moved (twice!) and laid purposeful claim to our current neighborhood; we’ve made ourselves regulars at a handful of hyper-local spots. All this year’s outdoor Summer Reading Guide photos were shot at a local place I adore. We’ve returned again and again as a family to a few specific haunts: nearby hiking trails and camping destinations further afield. We’ve visited places, numerous times now, that I mentioned wanting to visit in those 2013 comments. We’ve realized that some places we once thought we might make ours don’t belong to us after all, not in this sense. We like them, but somewhere along the way, we didn’t actively choose them.
We stayed home in 2020, and due to poor planning on our part, we ended up visiting a different but nearby beach town in 2021. We had a wonderful visit as a family; I love that little beach community and was grateful for the opportunity to stay there. But it wasn’t ours. I was not expecting to come away from that week with a deepened appreciation for our regular place and its meaning to our family, but that’s exactly what happened.
I asked you to tell me about the places you’ve made your own ten years ago, and I was touched by your thoughtful responses about vacation destinations and moves to new towns and the sports teams you’ve learned to love. I so appreciate how your comments have helped me think about my own choices over the years. (Those comments appear below; there are 93 of them so please plan on scrolling a bit to get to the new comments.)
Ten years later, I’m asking again: do you think there’s something to this theory? Would you tell us about the places, neighborhoods, teams, anything at all you’ve chosen to make your own? We’d love to hear all about it in comments. (If you’re able to articulate it, I think we’d all love to hear the details on the thought process behind your choice.)
***** ***** *****
This is the full text of the original piece, which first ran on June 19, 2013.
I’ve been thinking about falling in love. Or maybe I should say, choosing to love.
When we spent time in South Haven recently, my friend reminded me that it’s the same town Shauna Niequist gushes about in Bread and Wine, the one she loves for its charm and the memories it holds for her.
South Haven is a beautiful town, but there are lots of beautiful towns all up and down the Michigan shore, and even on other beaches, other lakes. Why South Haven?
From South Haven my family moved on to Chicago, where we stayed in a friend’s second home. Chicago is their city, they said when they handed over the keys, and they wanted to make it easier to get up there more often. So they bought a place, and now they do.
Chicago is a great city, but there are other great cities. Why Chicago?
I’m starting to suspect that to really love a place, you’ve got to meet it halfway: you have to choose to make it yours.
Let’s say you like a place. Because you like it, you choose to spend a little more time there. And the more time you put in, the more you like it. It’s a virtuous cycle. It’s how you fall in love.
This happens with all kinds of things: towns, restaurants, books, baseball.
I have friends who piled in the car before dawn last Saturday to drive 700 miles to Omaha to watch U of L play in the College World Series. They cheered on their team, went to bed, and left for home the next morning.
That’s love.
Ownership—and we’re not just talking money—is a powerful construct. When you make something yours—a town or a book or a baseball team—it becomes part of your identity.
My husband and I have been thinking about what we want to make ours as a family. What will our thing be? What makes us us?
We have a few starting points: my own little family returns to the Florida panhandle each year, same town, same place. To my kids, this beach is the beach, and their childhood memories will be tangled up with these trips.
This place has become ours.
(Fun fact: I snapped the photo for last year’s summer reading guide on our beach.)
But we’ve got room for more. We’re paying attention to what we’re drawn toward: what places, what things, what causes will we claim as our own?
What will we choose to love?
I don’t expect the answers to come easy, but I think our lives will be richer if we find them. If we choose them.
Do you think I’m way off base, or do you think this is really a thing? What have you made your own?
158 comments
Cape May. We love Cape May and it’s our vacation destination. We love the beach and strolling in the salt marshes and browsing the shops on the promenade. We’re thinking of purchasing a seasonal home there in a few years.
My chair. It’s where I have “tea with Jesus” each morning. I’ve snuggled my girls on my lap in that chair and worked on knitting and cross stitching projects there.
Happy memories! Thank you for helping me take the time to dwell on such bliss 🙂 Oh, and no you’re not crazy! Or at the very least, we’re crazy together in the same way!
Cape Cod sounds delightful. I’ve never been. Maybe one day? Or maybe not….I doubt it will ever be myplace.
I love that you mentioned your chair. That’s a great one!
Ummm. . . Cape May is in New Jersey and Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. We do hope you come to Cape Cod in MA sometime!
Hey Anne,
I’m a 50+ year wash-a-shore Cape Codder.
I was surprised and very disappointed, and quite frankly insulted that you ‘narrow mindedly assumed” that:
“Cape Cod sounds delightful… Or maybe not…I doubt it will ever be myplace.”
Of course you are not familiar with myplace. 50+ years of defining and refining our pergola area- hosting our daughter’s wedding, so many fun times with family and friends, so many years of book reading, and so much more.
I’m not quite sure where your preconceived ideas about Cape Cod have come from and quite frankly I’m not going to make the effort to try to guess. And who cares. It’s just one person’s opinion.
One of the main reasons I subscribe to your newsletter is because of your extensive research, book recommendations, being highly connected to new and established authors and the mindful observations you share with your readers.
I will continue to subscribe but maybe with one eye shut.
Ellen
Hey Anne,
Please delete the June 7 10:13AM post- (see above)
A long walk helped me to undo an “un-fun day”
We all have our opinions…
And I want you to know that I rely on you for many book recommendations. I appreciate all your hard work.
Thank you.
Cape Cod Ellen
*One of the main reasons I subscribe to your newsletter is because of your extensive research, book recommendations, being highly connected to new and established authors and the mindful observations you share with your readers. SO TRUE! and thank you again
Dear Ellen,
I like that you were so passionate! I’ve always wanted to visit Cape Cod or Nantucket – I feel like I’ve read tons of books set in both. But reading your post makes me think I should get to Cape Cod ASAP! If you know of any great rentals, I’d love to know – [email protected].
Best!
Cape May sounds delightful, but I really love what you shared about your special chair, That put a unique twist on the question and made me reflect on the idea of naming and claiming a special place right where I am / at home. In casting my eyes outward, I could easily overlook the everyday places and spaces that I’m most grateful for. Thank you for sharing!
I’ve always loved the IDEA of having a vacation destination the family returns to year after year. We’ve never really done it, though.
The Florida panhandle is just perfect. Also, the Gulf Coast of Alabama (Orange Beach.)
Thanks for inspiring me to think about this concept more seriously, Anne.
Orange Beach is our family’s place! Nothing fancy, but familiar now, and loved!
Oh yes, I have a place and I love the place so much that I moved there. It’s a place 1100 miles away from my extended family, but over the years I kept going back more and more to spend time there. I’ve made friends there and now that I’ve moved there for good, it still feels like a vacation, nearly every single day. I love this place and believe that I always will. 🙂
Tina, of course now I’m dying to know what this special place is! Love your story regardless of locale–thanks for sharing.
It’s a piano bar in Lake Buena Vista, FL (on WDW property). I love Disney, but more than anything, I love live music and the musicians who play there are so incredibly talented and amazing. I don’t drink alcohol, but I am a “regular” at this bar. Everybody there does know my name. And yes, I moved 1100 miles so I could be there any time, front row, drinking my diet coke. I’m single with no kids, so this is likely to not become “your place.” I’ve been living here for almost 2 years and as I said, it still feels like a vacation.
LOVE. IT.
We had this conversation at the park the other evening regarding summer. “What do we want our kids to remember about summers?”
Beach, camping, picking berries, family time.
Those are good ones. Fun and special, and accessible to boot.
I think it’s the ritual of it that makes it “ours”. My family of origin had several of these. Instead of going out for dinner, we went out to breakfast to celebrate anything – any excuse to celebrate. Same with vacation spots. Going to the same place year after year seems more pleasurable somehow.
You’re so right about the ritual aspect. (I just love the breakfast celebrations your family practiced.)
I definitely understand what you mean! My place is Mackinaw City and Mackinac Island, Michigan. I went there every summer as a kid, and a few times in recent years. It brings back so many childhood memories, and I can’t wait to make new ones there as an adult.
I can see how one could fall in love with Mackinac! I’d love to visit one day. The pictures I’ve seen are so beautiful.
Emily, I’ve been to Mackinac Island twice and cannot wait to go back. We’ve always camped at Mill Creek Campground just outside Mackinaw City. The view from that campground is just phenomenal, all through the day, but especially at night.
Love Mackinaw!!!! It’s such a special place.
I agree with you. I would say that New York City is our town. We love it there! We also have a campsite that we always stay at when we visit the Smoky Mountains. My husband would probably consider that our campsite. I would say that Ohio is our state. We moved here from Alabama in 2011 and absolutely love it here.
Such great examples! (Also, you guys are diverse!) Love it.
This is so true! We have been living in Lansing for almost a year and I have struggled to make it my place. As we prepare to move again I needed to hear this.
Wishing you well on the journey. 🙂
My husband and I just started talking about this concept, more so in terms of lifestyle. There are so many things we could do that are good but nailing down what we love and what we want to make ours.
I really love the extra focus you put on this today and realizing that we can’t all do everything but we can all do something.
Montreal is our city, we’re headed there next month to celebrate our anniversary. New Zealand is our country (we live in Canada and are Canadian by birth), we spent four months there after we were married. I love the rituals that come by intention and default, some of these comments have me thinking about new traditions we can incorporate. Going for breakfast? Totally. =)
Breanne, you’re so right about rituals coming by intention and default.
I would love to visit Montreal one day (even though I doubt it will ever become our city. 🙂 )
San Francisco. There’s no place like the City (and please don’t write “the city” with a lower case c when you mean San Francisco). Am I biased because born there? Yeah, probably. But I’ve been to a bunch of world class cities, including Athens and Munich and Madrid and others. The only one that stands up to the City is London.
Tim
P.S. I don’t need to remind anyone that using the word “Frisco” when you mean San Francisco labels you as a complete dunderhead who knows nothing about the place, do I?
P.P.S. I once flew into SFO sitting behind a guy who went on and on to his seatmate about how much he was looking forward to being able to visit Frisco again because Frisco was his town, Frisco was his favorite place, and He owned Frisco. He was a dunderhead.
I guess “he had nothin’ to live for, seemed like nothin’ gonna come his way; he was just sittin’ on the dock of the bay … wastin’ time….”
Otis is the only one ever allowed to sing about Frisco Bay. Ever.
I want to visit. Can you believe I’ve only been to the airport? Shameful.
Oh no! And SFO’s not even in San Francisco, but in the next county over. Please tell me you’ll let us know if you ever make it to northern California so we can try to meet up, Anne!
Tim: I’ve only been once, but San Francisco is hands-down the very best city I’ve visited so far.
Woo-hoo, Shana – Solidarity Sister!
I grew up in San Leandro, but never called it Leandro so San Francisco was always San Francisco…great city!!
My mother was born in 1919 and grew up in San Francisco. She and her brother and their friends never called it anything except Frisco, and none of them were dunderheads. Herb Caen bashed the term in his book, Don’t Call it Frisco in the early 50’s and from then on, I believe the terms the City vs Frisco became more about class and race than anything else. I am a grandmother of five and It’s still my place, even though I now live about an hour away.
My grandmother was born the year before yours and also always referred to it as ‘Frisco- I think your interpretation is spot on! MBC was certainly not a dunderhead either.
I’ve been thinking about this idea ever since we talked about it the other day. No great revelations to add to the conversation but I think you’re on to something here.
The White Sox and its rabid fans (okay, fan) were definitely on my mind with this one. 🙂
I love this. I became a sports fan as an adult and it was a learning curve. I started saying things that sounded silly to people who knew the game I was talking about, starting comparing it to faith all of the time. It was crazy, but I fell in love. I think that I sometimes think that love is something that just happens to us, especially with interests, but it’s not true. I think that things grab your attention, just like a cute guy might, but then you need to buy in to the getting to know the person, the interest. It’s a delightful and difficult thing.
I’m trying to be open to new things to love as well! Thanks for sharing this.
I have never heard anyone put it like that: the “learning curve” of becoming a sports fan. But that sounds about right to me. Love the way you framed it.
I grew up in Pensacola. Even though we now live in Hawaii, the sugar white sand beaches will always be home. Plus, my family lives there. I guess that makes it really easy to call it ours…since it once was.
I’ve never been to Pensacola, but we usually stay about an hour away, and we’re hoping to make it to your city for a Blue Wahoos game this year. 🙂
You’re not crazy. It’s totally a thing. For us it’s Asheville, NC. We go once or twice a year. For my mom’s family it’s Cape Cod and we go there with them too. With my Dad it’s the Red Sox.
I think I’d love Asheville. It’s definitely on my must-visit list!
Asheville is amazing. I went for the first time a couple of months ago, and I would love to love it (but that was only a short weekend and deep love can take a little time!).
This may be a bit different from what you mean, but this is what came to mind: every summer we travel from Ontario to Prince Edward Island, where I was born, to visit my family. It’s too far to travel in one day, so in the past we’d stay overnight in Fredericton, New Brunswick with my brother & his wife. But then they moved away. So we decided to contact a low-budget motel we knew about in Fredericton. We told them our son had autism and we needed a room where we could relax & not worry about him bothering anyone. They booked us a corner room and when we arrived late on the travel night, the desk clerk said, “Oh, we’ve been waiting for you! My sister’s son has autism, etc. etc. …” and she was so welcoming and kind. Although the motel is very plain and has no amenities really, my son LOVED staying there, so the next year we did exactly the same thing, asked for the same room even. He still talks about sitting on the big bed and watching Blue’s Clues on the portable dvd player, and about the orange juice & toast we had for breakfast. It’s very simple and not exactly special, but now it’s “home” for him so we plan to book The City Motel, Room 217, again this summer.
All I ever heard about Fredericton was in Great Big Sea’s version of the song Donkey Riding:
Was you ever in Fredricton seeing the king he does come down,
SEE THE KING IN HIS GOLDEN CROWN riding on a donkey.
And now I know they have wonderful innkeepers there too. Thanks for that story, Jeannie.
Tim
Jeannie, I love this, especially how it reminds me of a family I dearly love.
HI Jeannie! I feel like I “know” you a tiny bit from your comments on Adriana’s blog, but I didn’t realize that you have a son with autism! So do I — mine is 20 (hard to believe). I love this story! Hope your son loves his stay there again this summer. : )
Also, how cool that you were born on Prince Edward Island! I’m one of the countless Anne of Green Gables fans who would love to go there some day.
Anne of GG is OK, but have you ever heard about Stan of Green Gables? http://timfall.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/books-id-ban/
Hi Sandy – thanks for making the connection! If you’d ever like to be in touch more directly just let me know — I bet I could learn a lot from you since you’re farther ahead on the journey.
This is definitely a thing. 🙂 I think there’s even a name for it in psychology, but I can’t recall.
When I was an architecture student, one of my assignments was to choose a space on campus and build a computer model of a “spatial solid” that represented the experience of being in that space as a 3D object. (Of all the pretentious, semi-comprehensible assignments I suffered through before being kicked out of architecture school, this was the only one I managed to get right!) I chose a sidewalk that provides a pedestrian shortcut from the corner of a huge parking lot to the sidewalk along the street, with the lot’s landscaped border along one side of it and a chain-link fence on the other side to prevent you from falling down a steep wooded hill to the train tracks; through the trees you can see across the valley into the next neighborhood, which includes a cathedral. Because I lived in the dorm at the far side of that parking lot, I often used that shortcut when going over to that neighborhood to the drugstore and such, and I appreciated it as a haven after the bleak experience of crossing the parking lot. Working on the assignment, I spent a lot of time standing on the sidewalk (rather than walking quickly through) and increased my appreciation of it. These days, I work a few blocks away from campus and pass by that sidewalk every day and occasionally use it. I still think of it as “mine” in a special way.
I don’t know the name for it, but Dan Ariely has a great talk on motivation that hits a similar concept: that we love things we make. A good listen if you’re interested.
I love your sidewalk story. 🙂
Louisvile is becoming our place. My husband is from there and prior to meeting him, I had never even been to Louisville. Over the past fifteen years we’ve been together, he’s shown me so many places that are special to him. My fabulous in-laws still live there, so it’s easy to drive down from Cincinnati for the weekend. Although I’m not sure if it’s still open, we used to frequent Lynn’s Paradise Cafe. I’m not sure the kids remember going, but the looks on their faces when they walked in will never be forgotten by us. Our kids are getting to experience similar things to their Dad and for that I’m grateful.
Well, I must say I’m rather partial to Louisville. 🙂 (Ironically, we’re here and it’s my inlaws who are in Cincinnati. We’re passing each other on I-71. 🙂
Lynn’s was open until a few months ago, when it mysteriously shuttered overnight. The rumor mill is abuzz with murmurs of reopening, but nothing yet….
I love your thoughts on special places, Anne. And I think you’re definitely onto something. This runs along the same vein as establishing traditions in our families- whether it’s for holidays, birthdays, etc. As a child my family traveled to Mammoth Lakes every winter and summer. I think it’s a magical place but I’m sure there are thousands of other mountain/lake towns across the world that others would consider much better. But, it’s the memories we created in Mammoth that make the town special. Of course, I want to take my own family there as we grow but perhaps we’ll find a little town of our. I hope!
Lesley, you’ve reminded me that in addition to the City I wrote about above, I too have a small town that is still my place – Yakima WA.
Tim–I’ve driven through Yakima on my way to Ranier. Sounds like I’m always passing through your favorite places. 🙂
Lesley–I love the way you put it: “magical places.” Yes. That’s what I would love to create for my kids.
My siblings, cousins & I came up with a family holiday we call Kroon Day, we do all things Kroon on May 3 (when it was created there were no birthdays in March but since my nephew has been born in March). We eat donuts, call or text each other to say Happy Kroon Day, try to go skiing or biking, exchange small gifts (which has replaced birthday gift giving!) and for those that live in Alaska they meet up for dinner at a family favorite greasy diner. Every year it changes a little but it is pretty fun. We celebrate being one big goofy family! So yes, I resonate with having ‘our’ stuff. For my little family our thing is biking, we aren’t really giving our girls much choice on that one. And we’re Beaver (Oregon State) fans, we’ve actually discussed how sad it will be if one of our daughters decides to go to University of Oregon (Ducks – UGH!).
Joani, Kroon Day sounds wonderful (wonderfully weird 🙂 ). Talk about identity! Sounds like you guys nailed it. 🙂
Husband and kid are the ones who love the “ours”, so it becomes mine by default. But truly, I love to try new things. It’s a struggle to try a new vacation (out of the 3 or 4 “acceptable” places), a new restaurant (although I do love “our” Mexican place); I don’t care much about the sports, so I’m happy to go along with them there. Is something wrong with me that I don’t really care about the places as much as the experiences?
My mom’s the same way, and has expressed the same concern! She’s completely easygoing about the “where”, she just cares about who she’s with. (At least that’s what she used to say, but in the past ten years I’ve watched her and my dad claim a couple of places as “theirs.”)
It sounds like you’re good company. 🙂
St. Louis is “Our City” because it is where my family is, where we met and married, but Oahu and Hawaii is “Our Place” because it is where we became a family. Even though my kids don’t always remember it very well. (we haven’t been back in 5 years and they are little) they still see Hawaii as “Our Place”. (We live in and love “Our City, St. Louis!!)
I think you’re on to something here, because I’ve definitely had the experience of falling out of love with a place.
My husband and I met in college and had a lot of fond memories of town, from the dating and newlywed stages of life, before we moved far away. But a couple of years ago we had reason to pass through, and we thought it would be a lot of fun to go back and visit a little. I can only compare it to a long-distance relationship where you get off the airplane and look at the other person and realize that you feel a little let down, you were over-idealizing them, and they really belong in a stage of life that you’ve moved beyond. We had real responsibilities and a new baby, and saw that the college town was just an ivory tower filled with clueless kids, professors, and townspeople! The best my husband and I could do was try to have fun and reminisce, accept that our life together had moved forward and the college town hadn’t, and kindly say, “so long, and thanks for the memories. It was really awesome while it lasted, but that spark just isn’t there anymore, you know? I’ve changed a lot in these couple of years, but you’ll always be my college town. Maybe we’ll get together for coffee next year and chat about old times.”
I was there again a month ago and it was easier, but there was still this sense of running into an ex and genuinely hoping they’re doing well, but all the same knowing that you’re totally over it and there’s no going back to the way things used to be.
Oh, interesting spin! I love the analogy about running into an ex. And of course I’m dying to know what the town is…but some things are better left unsaid, I suppose.
It’s Ann Arbor. I’m just a little scared of getting grief because a lot of people really love A2!
What can I say? It was a personality issue. 😉
I’ve never been to Ann Arbor, but I’ve heard it’s a wonderful college town. Which I suppose is great…if you’re in college. 🙂
That is too funny. I grew up there and when reading your post I thought hmmm A2. I bet she’s talking about that town. Then boom it’s it. Just made me chuckle
Hello Anne! I thought you might like to know that I included you in a blog post with my five favorite bloggers 🙂 http://amandabethrose.blogspot.com/2013/06/five-favorites-my-favorite-mom-bloggers.html
Aw, thanks!
Our place is Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. I’ve been there at least 10 times since meeting my husband in 1998. I’ll admit that at first I thought it was lame to go back to the same vacation spot every year, but now that I have a family I absolutely love it. We have our favorite restaurants and places to visit each year which we look forward to, but we also make it a point to at least try 2 or 3 new things during each vacation. I make a photo book of all of our pictures each year and it is such a joy looking at our girls enjoying the beach and how they grow from year to year.
“I’ll admit that at first I thought it was lame to go back to the same vacation spot every year, but now that I have a family I absolutely love it.”
This was me! I still love visiting new places occasionally, but I definitely love faithfully returning to the same spot every year. Ten years ago, I never thought I’d say that!
The little English town where my grandparents live, for sure. It’s so beautiful and friendly and quaint, I love the food and the people, and since I can walk places by myself it is a perfect place to just be. I just got there yesterday and I am so ecstatic!!!
Have a wonderful visit! It sounds delightful.
Every July my family and my extended family stay at Epworth by the Sea on St Simons Island Georgia. We love it there and stay in the same rooms year after year. It’s a beautiful area and I encourage everyone to visit at least once. You will fall in love!!
Fripp Island, SC for my family. Only place in the whole wide world I can relax to my core. Savannah, GA for my husband and I. Something about all the Spanish moss hanging from the trees–just love it there.
My family and I went to Fripp Island several times when I was young, and we all loved it!
My husband I just started doing something that I think fits your definition. On Tuesdays, we go out to eat at the same little Mexican spot, and then we take our beach chairs to an Inlet park by the water and sit out for a spell. There are boats, pelicans, and old guys fishing off the pier. We love it there.
We just got back from Lake Michigan! Our family loves it too. We stay in Union Pier but day trip to South Haven and St. Joseph. It’s hard to imagine a family vacation anywhere else!
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I know I’m a little late to the party, but I just had to comment! My husband and I have talked about this a lot. We have a campsite that I’ve gone to several times a year since I was born (my patents started going a few years before that) its just 2 hours away and we love continuing that tradition with our kids. But we’ve also started something new that is just “ours” Every year we take our kids to at least one National Park. The first one we went to had us hooked- the National Parks are definitely “our place” even though it isn’t just one place!
The National Parks are such a good thing to make “yours!” Love it.
I love this. I think it’s great to build family identity. I want to travel with our kids all over, but I think after this summer we decided to make a beach “our beach.” We already booked to go back the same week next summer, same house we went to and everything. 🙂 I look forward to making lots of memories there.
When I was young, we went to a campground in northern Ohio for a week with all my cousins (I have 13 first cousins on my mom’s side!). We camped, we had traditional meals that we made over the fire, we spent a day at Cedar Point, we visited the campground store and rode bikes around a big circle. It was the same every year, and my mom had been doing it since long before we came along. It stopped when I was in 6th grade, but I still have really happy memories of that and loved the normalcy of coming back each year. I think we thrive on rhythm and it makes everything more special and familiar. (In a world where, given the money, we could visit a different city across the globe each summer for the rest of our lives, right? Ease of travel, etc.)
Oh, and when we went to Cedar Point, we all wore matching t-shirts too. Ours said “My grandpa sings barbershop.” Yep. Talk about solidarity.
My family started coming here to a resort when I was 16. I met my husband here that first year. We (my parents and sister and various friends) put in 26 years of vacations here. My kids were able to enjoy growing up with that week of family time at the pool and amusement park. My dad passed away a couple years ago so last year we moved our vacation to a “log cabin” in Wisconsin. We’re adaptable. 🙂
Love this, thank you for brightening my morning!
Oh this is wonderfully thought-provoking, (as are the comments)! The whole idea of “our city” is a frequent topic and source of frustration with my hubby and me, as we’re not really fond of where we live. But we also feel trapped. No money to move, no job prospects, etc. Waitin’ on a nudge from God, I guess. But! 🙂 We do have some wonderful things that make us “us”. Every Saturday night we bbq burgers (we live in Southern California, so it’s not hard for us to bbq all year round). It’s not unique, I’m sure, but it’s us. And we do have “our city”. My family attended the 2002 Olympics in Utah, and my hubby and I fell in love with Park City. We’ve gone back there 8 or 10 times or so in the past 12 years. We only spend a day, but we always eat at the same place, and we love the tradition.
* Love this post! Thanks! *
I remember this post! I never gone anywhere repeatedly for vacation….maybe St. Louis? Will be thinking about it more. 🙂
We just moved back to West Michigan and used to live in Chicago. I consider both of them “ours.” Just like I consider Lake Michigan from either side, our lake. And there’s a lighthouse I consider mine as well. 🙂
Yellowstone–33 years and 3 generations. We’ve invested and the dividends make is spiritually, emotionally, and relationally rich. Yellowstone illustrates the reality of Romans 1–it clearly makes God and his character known. I’m grateful my parents started taking my brother and I there when we were young.
That sounds like an incredible family tradition!
Just happened on this old post, but the timing couldn’t have been better. We moved this year, and I love your thoughts on meeting a place half way in order to fall in love.
My parents rented a cottage in Wisconsin with my aunts renting the ones on either side, and my memories are so find of that place. Our kids have traveled much more than we ever did as kids, but we only return to where our extended family lives.
I know I’ll be thinking about this post a great deal. Thanks, Anne.
I think this is so true! My husband is a pastor and we are sent to different parishes about every 3 years. In fact, we just moved to a different side of our state in June. In order to make it work for me, I have to make up my mind to get to know and explore and like the places we live. I put effort into learning the history of the area, using local merchants and getting to know the people who work there, and effort into exploring new streets, parks, local restaurants, etc. And it works! I might not be thrilled with where we’re moving (like this time), but once we get there, it’s all good. Then when we have to move again, I don’t want to leave!
I just found this older post when you linked to it, and I see Melody Warnick actually linked to it as well, but have you read her book? I picked up This is Where You Belong recently and loved it’s mix of research and story. It inspired me to do some super easy things to recommit to loving my neighborhood!
I love blogging and really miss it. This was a great post. From your pictures over the years, I am fairly confident that I know your beach – and I love it! It’s actually a place my friend group often picks for our annual girls’ trip. My family has two places, very far apart, and as such hard to visit every year. Sadly one of them has been hit badly by two hurricanes in the last year and I am uncertain when we can return (Captiva Island, off the coast of Ft. Myers FL). The other is the beach of my childhood – Cape Cod!
How fun to have a girls’ trip at the beach! And it’s so good to hear about your family’s places.
I’ve always wanted to visit Cape Cod. Maybe one day, I hope!
My family also loves Captiva! (though not since 2021) AND I’ve been going to Cape Cod with my growing-up family since I was in utero. Now my kids think of it as their special place, too 🙂
That’s so funny that we have the same two places and they are not close together at all!
While growing up, my parents built a lakefront home in Door County, Wisconsin. It was our place and when I had children of my own, it became their place. My parents sold it 2 years ago and I swear to you, I grieved. We even went back to Door County, staying at another place, but it was not the same. In addition, since my boys were little we always spent a week on Anna Maria Island in Florida. The place we always stayed at was sold and is being torn down. I never thought I could grieve for a place and here I was, grieving for 2! It’s odd how my parents just moved on from these places. Maybe it’s because they are connected to my and my boys’ childhoods? Sigh.
Wendy, that’s so interesting about your parents moving on while you didn’t do the same. I can completely understand the need to grieve after such a loss.
When I was young my family of origin spent a handful of summers on Anna Maria Island: thanks for the memories! I fondly remember long walks, sunsets, and lunches at Duffy’s. (You may be interested in Kathleen Flinn’s memoir Burnt Toast Makes You Sing Good, as Anna Maria features prominently in its pages!)
How funny that your first comment back in 2013 is about Cape May NJ. That’s our special place. Literally exit 0 on the Garden State Parkway. We’ve been going annually for about 15 years. Amazing food, lovely ambiance, walkable and “bikeable” everywhere. Anne, for sure, you’d love it. Victorian homes. My husband and I go just the two of us (our kids have joined occasionally) and we spend our time waking around like the town is ours. It feels so good.
I’ve read books set in Cape May, and it’s always sounded magical. It’s wonderful to hear this place “belongs” to you!
As far as vacation spots, I’d have to say the North Shore/Duluth area of Minnesota. I’ve gone there pretty regularly since 1980, first with my fiance/husband, now with my partner who keeps a sailboat and RV up there. The city and area have evolved considerably over those years so it’s familiar but new at the same time. But when I think about loving a place, I think of my home town of St. Paul Minnesota. I was born here (1959) and have lived here ever since (except for 12 years in a suburb of Minneapolis but I don’t count that). I can walk or drive past every home I’ve lived in very easily. The buildings and landmarks are the same though there have been noticeable changes over the decades. Being able to walk the same streets and visit the same places my parents did makes me feel grounded. My three younger sisters have all lived elsewhere since the early ’90s and have suggested I move to be closer to them but I can’t imagine why I would. St. Paul is my home and always will be. (Unless I win the lottery and buy an apartment in Paris.)
Nanette, where in St. Paul do you live? I don’t have your tenure, but with 24 years in Como Park I am by no means the oldest inhabitant of my neighborhood. It’s a well-kept secret as a pretty good (true Minnesotans consider this the highest praise, right?) place to live, isn’t it?
Minnesotans often refer to a weekend at “the cabin” or “the lake” – as if there were only one cabin or one lake. In the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” most of us have one special place in our hearts (even if we just rent it one week each summer!)
Well said!
Edisto Beach, Edisto Island, SC.
One of the few remaining family-oriented, gently developed beaches on the eastern coastline of South Carolina. I love the laid back, reading friendly vibe. My spirit longs for our yearly visit!!
That sounds glorious!
Duck, NC on the Outer Banks is my spot. My family has been vacationing on the Outer Banks since I was in grade school (I turn 60 this month). About 20 years ago we focused in on Duck, north of the busiest, tourist trap sites and it’s been ours ever since. We rent the same favorite house with a pool and great views and try to make it there every fall or so. We’re heading there in October with my parents and brother and SIL. I kind of like going to the same place, it makes a more relaxing vacation as we’ve already been there, done that. More time to visit, read, make puzzles and walk on the beach. We do return to our favorite haunts, but the rush to do everything isn’t there.
What a wonderful tradition!
Hi Anne with an E,
My hubby and I drive “through” your happy place to catch the ferry at Hatteras Island to get to our Happy Place – Ocracoke Island, NC. We live in the Phila area so it’s a good 10-11 hours door to door but, as we say, oh so worth it. We are in love with Ocracoke’s beautiful, undeveloped beaches, delicious restaurants, village vibe and some of the most beautiful night skies you can see with the naked eye. We recently make our 8th trip there since we first learned of it in 2014, in a chance newspaper article. We’ll have to stop in Duck on our next road trip! And pick up some Duck Donuts of course. 🙂
I’ve lived in 8 states and 21 zip codes. I visited 48 states by the time I turned 12. Picking a favorite place is difficult. One place stands out from my childhood. Although I’ve only been there once, there was something very magical about a motel we stayed in that was near Helena, Montana. It was the summer of 1962. My dad was a college professor who had the 2nd semester of summer school off every year. We always traveled for most, if not all, of those six weeks. In the summer of ‘62, we headed to California from Pennsylvania to visit family. Our family car was one of the old Chevy station wagons with the wooden panels on the sides. It had no seats belts (they weren’t an option yet), and no air conditioning (not sure if that was an option, but my parents wouldn’t have spent the money on it). My two sisters and I are very close in age, and we spent the trip in the back seat of the station wagon playing card games, singing, tormenting each other….all of the usual sibling road trip activities. It was hot and the days were long. The one thing we always knew was the end of the day meant staying in a motel that had a pool. My mother kept our swimsuits in a bag that she could grab as soon as we stopped for the night. We would run to the motel room and wait to get our suits, change as quickly as possible and take off for the pool. On the day we stopped for the night in Montana, the weather was incredible. I remember how blue the sky was with not a cloud to be seen. My dad swam with us for about an hour while my mom sat by the pool and read. Eventually, Mom announced it was time to get ready for dinner. We always went to a nice restaurant for dinner where we talked about things we’d seen that day on our ride. The conversation was always interesting and often full of laughter. After dinner on that evening, we went back to the motel and got back into our wet bathing suits for another dip in the pool. As it was about to get dark, we were getting out of the pool and the motel manager came out to talk to my dad. He told him not to take us inside yet because he wanted us to see the night sky. We hung out in the pool as the sky grew darker. Little by little, the stars came out until the sky was so full of them that I was overcome by the beauty above me. Suddenly, I started to cry. My mother asked me what was wrong and I said “Nothing. It’s just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I want to stay here forever.” I think of that magical night every time I see a star-filled sky. And I think of how lucky I was to have those trips with my family every summer.
Awesome, especially at 8 years old – brought tears to my eyes!
What a beautiful experience and such happy memories. It brought tears to my eyes too. Your story brings back wonderful memories of Midwestern road trips in the 60’s with my parents and brother. Motels with pools, Howard Johnson’s for clam strips and pistachio ice cream, the salivating smell of gasoline when my Dad filled the tank, reading my stack of books in the back seat or curled up in the “way back” of the station wagon. Thank you for sharing it.
What a beautiful story and memory!
How wonderful that the hotel manager spoke to your father to be sure you would see the wonderment of the night sky. Thank you for sharing that beautiful story.
My family has always spent as much time as possible each summer anywhere and everywhere along the Lake Michigan shore. Our favorite day trip spot is Holland State Park. In addition to day-tripping, we love to camp at many of the state parks on Lake Michigan, HSP included. But…..our most favorite spot to camp as a family is Ludington State Park, so much so that we often have said, “it’s not summer until we’ve been to Ludington”. Trips to LSP include swimming, hiking the dunes, walking to the lighthouse, kayaking, floating in tubes on the channel between Hamlin Lake and Lake Michigan, READING at the beach and, of course, trips in town in the evenings for yummy ice cream at House of Flavors. Ludington, MI is definately “ours”!
I’m a big fan of the blog/podcast but have never commented before. I love this question! For me, making a place “mine” has to do with familiarity. There are the initial sparks that fly when I visit somewhere that just feels right. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly all of the qualities that make that true, but I do know that each place that does feel like mine also feels welcoming and like I am at home. For me, a few of those places are Vanilla Hills Lodge in San Ignacio, Belize; Anna Maria Island, FL; Tybee Island, GA; Manarola in the Cinque Terre area of Italy; and Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Wales, FL. I have returned to almost all of those destinations multiple times and have my favorite spots but also always discover something new on subsequent visits. I like to think of each as a piece of my soul’s address in the world.
Stephanie, welcome to the comments section, and thank you for sharing your special places with us here!
My experience is different! I feel that there are so many places to explore and visit that I don’t feel I have time to go back to the same place year after year, although I think it is a fun idea. But on the other hand, my husband and I have a very special ritual that we have kept up during our 35 years of marriage. For our anniversary each year, we have gone away for a weekend (or a few times, a week) to a DIFFERENT place! It has been so much fun finding unique and fun places that have led to a lifetime of adventures! I have kept a photo album with each anniversary’s getaway that we enjoy reminiscing through each March!
I’m Canadian so my special place is in Canada. My husband (who wasn’t my husband then) and I discovered Davis Creek on Kootenay Lake in BC in 1992 and we’ve gone back there almost every second year. Because of the pandemic we haven’t been there since 2019 so this year we are going again. I wish I could show you a picture of the lake nestled between the surrounding hills. This is a provincial park with about 30 camp sites, each one it’s separate little piece of paradise. The lake shore is strewn with big logs which are perfect for leaning against when you’re down on the beach. The water is quite cool but very refreshing. No motors are allowed on the lake so it is quiet. We don’t have a canoe or kayak but lots of people do and in the past few visits we’ve seen more paddle boards because the lake is usually calm.
Our family doesn’t have a place.
We’re more buffet samplers — there’s so much we want to see, so let’s go see it! We’re going to a new-to-us beach in a new-to-us state later this month, for example.
I can definitely see the appeal of having a home away from home for a family, a place we return to over the years and see what’s changed and what’s stayed the same.
I can also see the heartbreak in it. Communities change, sometimes for the worst. Sometimes hurricanes devastate. Sometimes they become overdeveloped and unrecognizable.
Maybe that’s why I’ve landed on the buffet way. The *place* isn’t The Thing — It’s our family going somewhere together.
I agree! And I like the term buffet way of traveling. That is what both we have done as a family of three and as a couple!
This strikes a chord with me! I grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee, but moved to northeast PA with my new husband after college and lived there 25 years. Then we lived in Indianapolis for another 20 years. We vacationed with family in Knoxville every summer, however, for years and both of our daughters chose to live in Knoxville to raise their families! Last year my husband and I retired and moved — where else— to Knoxville, coming full circle. It’s not a perfect city but it seems to be “our place. “
Our family place is Lake of the Ozarks in MO. My husband has been going there since he was a kid, our kids grew up going there, and three years ago we bought a place and boat. Now that our kids are grown, it’s great to have a place we can all be together.
My husband and I also love Chicago and consider it our city. I don’t know why I’m drawn to it so much but I love going back again and again.
I love this idea! My place is Yosemite. When I was growing up in Southern California, my family of six went there to camp every summer, starting in the late ‘50’s. (We were going to visit a different national park each year, but we never got past Yosemite!) We had our favorite campgrounds, hikes, and activities. Then, during college and after, I worked every summer in the High Sierra Camps, which were accessible only by trail. (It was my “mountain girl” phase.) So, Yosemite is very special to me. It speaks to me soul. I’ve noticed that I’m very possessive about that, and I have to remind myself that it is special to other people, too—it’s not just MY place.
I totally relate! Yosemite is “my” place too. You’ll have to share it with me. I love it so much though the crowded conditions in more recent years have made it less enjoyable during the summer. But I still love it. We live now about two hours drive away so we can get there fairly easily. During the restrictions of Covid it was actually a great place to go because they reduced the number of visitors allowed and if you could get a reservation, it was heaven.
My family and I went to Yosemite for Memorial Day Weekend. We were afraid it would be super crowded, but it really wasn’t (by usual Yosemite standards). I hadn’t been in years, and I had forgotten just how beautiful it is, and right now there is so much water! The waterfalls are amazing! We only live about 2 1/2 hours away, so I don’t know why we don’t go more often.
Seaside, FL (on 30A) is our happy place … I would recognize those blue umbrellas anywhere! We go every year, our kids love it as much as we do. Some folks have a ton of wanderlust but there’s something so wonderful and comforting about returning to the same spot. We find it more relaxing.
I’d love to know the Florida town your family loves Anne! Our “place” is Grand Haven, MI. My husband’s grandparents used to take their 9 children there and stay in a tiny cottage on Lake Michigan. I’ve been going there with my husband since our early dating years. My SIL and nephew travel from CA every July so we can rent a house with the whole family. Same spot to take the kid’s pictures, same beach, same restaurants, same favorite T-shirt shop. Have you read Beach Read by Emily Henry??? This from the author: “The setting of Beach Read is very much an amalgam of my favorite western Michigan beach towns. There are elements of Saugatuck, Holland, Grand Haven, and others incorporated into North Bear Shores.”
Hubby and I found our place the summer we were dating, 21 years ago. I went fishing with him and we passed a little cabin being built that had a lovely stone fireplace, and full length front and back porches, being built on his favorite fishing river. He said, “There’s somebody’s dream home!” little dreaming that we would make it our own. When we married shortly thereafter and went on our honeymoon we came back a day early because we couldn’t bear to be away any longer. I love to quote him, “If we’re not in heaven we’re smack dab on the edge of it!” We’ve hosted numerous St. Paddy’s Day feasts, Chili cookouts, front porch open door fellowships that led to one of our neighbors being baptized out back in our river, by a minister who used to work with Billy Graham. We have 4 adult children between us, with 7 grands, so we’ve had numerous Thanksgiving, Christmas and other gatherings thru the years. Home is where we’re happiest!
My mother-in-law lives in Miami and we visit her every year. It’s a very non-tourist experience for us in one of the world’s touristiest cities. We avoid Miami Beach and go to a more family friendly beach, eat Cuban food where the locals do, shop at Publix, and generally keep it really low key. I don’t know how long my MIL will be around, but this annual visit that my kids will remember- feeling like you live in a place even if you are only there one week out of 52.
I’m 75 and can reminisce about places that were my place or our place at different stages of life. I grieved each one when that stage passed, but they remain in memories. I grew up in LA/Orange County in Southern California. Disney? That’s in Anaheim. I still don’t understand the fondness people have for Florida.
One striking example of place-finding for me is an experience with my older daughter. She was very specific in her list of requirements for college. She chose Grinnell College in Iowa — and I knew after her first semester that she would never consider California “home” again. Somehow I birthed a midwesterner. My younger daughter remains in Southern California but is considering a change now that her daughter is in college. My husband and I moved to Iowa when our older 3 grandchildren were in high school, middle school and elementary school and their dad was a State Senator halfway across the state and our daughter couldn’t stretch far enough to handle all their activities. Now they are all college graduates.
I arrived in Orange County a few days ago for a visit. It’s good to be home.
And one more “place” for me had to do with my career in nursing. When I walk into a hospital, it feels like home.
The coast along Orange County, CA…especially San Clemente. Every time I go there each summer as I walk down the cliffs to the beach I breathe in deeply the salty air, lift my face to the sun and close my eyes. Once I open them the gorgeous ocean and the huge waves sparkle and fill me with joy. The best feeling is digging my toes into the warm sand as I sit on my beach chair and just soak it all in. I love love love it!!
Carmel, CA – My husband and I started vacationing there when we were dating, then spent part of our honeymoon there, and have been visiting as often as our budget allows for the past 30 years. You’ve never seen such a beautiful beach, with the white sand and the cypress trees and the gorgeous bay out in front of you. I feel my pulse begin to slow every time we turn off the main highway and head into this charming little village. Also, it’s a dog friendly town (thanks to longtime resident and dog lover, Doris Day), so we always take our dogs. Having said all that, I will also agree with Tim about San Francisco. We spent part of our honeymoon there also, and have gone back as often as possible. No place on earth like it!
Maine….specifically mid coast to Acadia. There is no other place that brings alive all of my senses and inspires me while simultaneously bringing me such a deep feeling of peace and relaxation.
I totally understand this concept after I fell in love with Wells Beach, Maine. We live in Eastern Maine and back in 2008, I took my husband down to Saco (south of Portland), dropped him off where he was helping with a project, and I was free for the day! I continued down Rt 1, along the coast and after a bit, I saw a mirage off to my left…..it was like a floating sand spit, with a “skyline” of cottages on it….separated from the road by a marsh, the mist rising from it. I couldn’t at first see how to get down there (“you can’t get there from here”–Maine saying) but then I found the Mile Rd and hurried on down. It was idyllic. It was Sept, but about 90 degrees and grandparents were down on the beach playing with grandchildren, people were walking their dogs or jogging and it all just felt warm, friendly, and SAFE. An ice cream truck went by, jingling it’s tunes. When I picked up my husband later that day, I said, “Honey, we’re renting a place in Wells Beach next year.” I had just had a windfall of about $5000 and that’s how we spent it for the next 6 years. Once we stayed in the same place twice, but every year it was so fun over the snowy winter, to pore over the rental listings…..Excitement just squirts out of me thinking about it! Each year we got a place with a guest room or two and invited my family one year and his family the next. I loved going in the cold water every day and surfing with my boogie board, but my hubby is not a cold-water swimmer. The rest of the family had a good time, but they didn’t understand my total devotion to this place!! They wondered why I didn’t go somewhere new next year?? Nope, this place had it all, (and it was MAGIC!!) plus lots of things nearby to see and do. Eventually the money ran out, and anyway, I don’t put ON bathing suits anymore, but it’s still MY special place in my heart.
As unoriginal as it sounds, Paris is “our city”. I taught English in France for a year after university in 2012, and my then-fiancé (now husband) came to visit. We’ve been back just about every year since (barring pandemics and newborn babies), even if some years just for a quick weekend before moving onto other locales. Most recently, we packed up our 20 month old toddler to brave the 14 hour travel day for a family holiday in Paris & Avignon! Obviously, there is so much more to Paris than a little Canadian on holiday could ever know, but I feel like if I have “go-to’s/must-do’s” (hotels, restaurants, food to eat, activities, etc.) then it is fair game to call Paris “my city” 🙂
Allison, have you read the My Grape Year series by Laura Bradbury? She was a Canadian who did an exchange year in France, fell in love with a Frenchman right away, eventually married him and now they have 3 girls and live in both BC and France. It’s all true! Quite charming story, and she has written many books about it now.
I am in my “place,” and everyone knows it’s mine: Chatham, Cape Cod. We come here for 3 weeks every year. Used to be, when I was a child, my family came for the summer. It started even before that: my mother and birth-father met when each family was building houses overlooking a river in West Chatham. The boy and girl next door married, he went into the Marine Corps in the 1950s,but his plane went down during a training run shortly before I was born, so I never met him. Mom remarried, she and my step-dad had my younger brother, and we continued to come here every year until we all were married and my parents retired to Florida and the homes were sold. My brothers and I were crushed. I didn’t come back for 20 years, but finally, after my parents died, my husband persuaded me to try again, and now we are making new memories. A wonderful homeowner rents her house to us, and we have the blessing of learning to love Chatham not only for what it was in the past, but what it is today.
God has been so good to us.
I find this idea so fascinating and fun to think about! I grew up going to a small beach in the OBX (Emerald Isle, NC) every summer with family and have so many wonderful memories there. I love traveling and exploring, but there’s something to be said about putting down “vacation roots” by going back to the same spots for vacations. Through time spent there, you learn the place, the rhythms, find your favorite spots, etc. It doesn’t happen by accident and I love the idea of choosing a place to get to know and invest in for vacations or special events. And it’s so fun to bond with others who have the same vacation spots!
The Missouri Botanical Garden in St. Louis is our special place. We’ve been members for years, and it’s just a short drive from home. Cleared flat paths have seen us through all stages of our lives whether pushing baby strollers, wheelchairs or using canes or walkers. My husband gets upset when there’s construction or equipment putting up a new exhibit . He takes it personal that they’re wrecking “ our garden”. He recently had surgery and missed some weekly walks. I kept going with friends. The construction is almost complete, the newly installed Chihuly exhibit is beautiful and Hubby is ready to walk with me at our special place. Can’t wait!
My family’s “place” is a little different! Mike and I got married in Buffalo NY and immediately moved to Tennessee where we have lived and worked and raised our kids. Consequently a yearly pilgrimage to the Home Place was needed so my daughter and son would know their large and loving extended family. They have
many many memories of the gatherings and adventures with cousins they only saw once a year. Buffalo is Our Place and we all proudly follow the Bills and snowfall reports together.
My place is more of a region than a city or town – it’s the foothills and mountains of the Blue Ridge in North Carolina and Virginia. When we head west from Raleigh, my whole body relaxes into a contented sigh when I catch my first glimpse of the mountains up ahead, and, as I tell my husband every time, I can literally feel my heart sing. We love to hike, play games and stargaze at night, and visit some delightful towns in the area, depending on where we stay. Some of our favorite destinations are Ashe County/West Jefferson,NC and Floyd and Afton, VA. (We also have “our” bakery that’s a mandatory destination every time we pass through Richmond, VA. It’s called Sub Rosa and makes the best pastries I’ve ever had, anywhere!)
There’s a lot to be said for going back to a familiar place. It takes the stress out of planning and packing. Ours is Sanibel Island, Florida. We’ve been going for 35 years every October with my parents, who passed away 5 years ago, and we kept up the tradition. When the hurricane destroyed the island in 2021, we realized what we’d lost. No other beach in Florida could compare. Because we knew the October people, the restaurant owners, the events at the Wildlife Preserve, and the favorite fishing spots. Our porch was a stone’s throw away from the Gulf, where I’ve read 100’s of books with a glass of iced tea or a margarita by my chair. The familiarity was at least 50% of what compelled us to keep returning.
Del Mar, CA. Just thinking about it makes me happy.
This post really has me thinking as I don’t think our family has “our” place for vacation or otherwise. We love to travel all over the US trying a new place with each trip. We keep tabs on the states we visit and are working on getting the kids to all of them while they are still under our roof. We very rarely visit a place twice, but if we do, we make plans to visit somewhere new within the year even if for just a few days. I was never one to be attached to a place as I moved around a lot when I was younger, so I feel like “our” place is wherever we are together as a family. I’m going to go ask my kids this question. Curious now to where they think “our” place is!
Mine is a lake in Michigan (not one of the Great Lakes). My extended family has been going there since the early 1950s. Among the community, it actually makes us some of the newest folks on the block. It’s nice to reconnect with some of the same people every year, and to see family.
My place is more of a region than a city or town – it’s the foothills and mountains of the Blue Ridge in North Carolina and Virginia. When we head west from Raleigh, my whole body relaxes into a contented sigh when I catch my first glimpse of the mountains up ahead, and, as I tell my husband every time, I can literally feel my heart sing. We love to hike, play games and stargaze at night, and visit some delightful towns in the area, depending on where we stay. Some of our favorite destinations are Ashe County/West Jefferson,NC and Floyd and Afton, VA. (We also have “our” bakery that’s a mandatory destination every time we pass through Richmond, VA. It’s called Sub Rosa and makes the best pastries I’ve ever had, anywhere!)
Oak Island and Southport NC have become my special places for the last 7 years. Read about the area in a Southern Living Magazine and decided to go, and love to keep going back. While new places are nice, there’s something so relaxing about going back to a favorite and visiting the same restaurants and shops and piers that is hard to beat. Upgrading from staying in hotels to a beach house was the best!! We usually go in October, it is still very pleasant and a lot quieter.
We have been a “buffet” family with travel wunderlust but I’ve always longed for a place where our kids might return with their families. Chicago is where my husband and I both grew up and met—and with family still there, we often return. So it feels like it “should” be our town. But I fell hard for Manhattan and if I could, would visit every fall. We’ve been to Hawaii, Mexico, Ireland, Thailand, Russia, and China (the last three bk: before kids). We only travel to National Parks for years while saving for big family trip.
I’ve loved dearly the towns where we’ve created homes (Ashland, Oregon; Moab, Utah, and now Golden, CO). I’m going to be pondering this question and whether we can sacrifice traveling to new places to return to places we’ve loved.
Well when I was in the 7th grade my folks moved from Philadelphia to South Jersey, and I lived in the Vineland area for a number of years about 30 minutes from a multitude of Jersey Shore places — Cape May, through Ocean City and Atlantic City. In my 30’s and with a Masters Degree i worked at the Cape May County Library (and an earlier stint at the cumberland county library)to rack up 30 years. Loved Cape May, Stone Harbor was a favorite — the smell of the salt marshes, the great Jersey tomatoes, etc. Then I moved to Bend, Oregon which was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE EVER — and lived there for 16 of the happiest years of my life in a house with a view of the Cascade Mountains great communities all within a short distance — Sisters, Redmond, La Pine and never wanted to leave. I miss the smell of sage, the wildlife, the ranches full of an amazing variety of animals from cattle to minature donkeys, sheep nd llamas everywhere — great art communities, gorgeous sunsets, incredible parks — elk. Then reluctantly we moved to Florida to Palm Coast on the Eastern Shore between Daytona Beach and St. Augustine — incredible seafood, lots of music available, have made some great friends and although it took 13 years from me to finally stop bitching about leaving Oregon — I am happy here with a pool out my back door, and great weather 320 days of the year…or at least NOT cold weather.
I have been camping with the same five families for 27 years at Killbear Provinical Park. Our group now includes adult children and their partners as well as a flock of grandkids. That is our place and I told my kids when I die, I don’t want a tombstone in a graveyard, but a bench somewhere in the park.
What a great conversation starter! I have really enjoyed reading several of the comments. Neither my husband or I have ever had “our place”, heck we don’t even have a place in the family … yes, that is a whole other conversation. I’ve been asking several of my friends about where they feel is “their place” to them. The discussions have amazed me. We talked about what feelings made it feel like their place, along what things they did/did not do to invoke the feelings. Before starting the conversations I tried to guess where I thought several of my friends would say their place is, I was 90% correct. IMO, Blogging cannot be over if these kind of posts bring on some great discussions!
I love this post! After our hometown of Los Gatos which we absolutely adore, Lake Tahoe, CA is “our place” filled with memories from even before my 3 kids were born. Hubby and I bought a house here in 2000 with a vision that it would be a place for us to gather with family and friends through the seasons and the generations. There are places like the ice skating rink, Crazy Good Bakery & Cafe, and Cuppa Tahoe bookstore that I look forward to visiting each time I’m here. I love how my older adult boys now come up here on their own or with friends for a change of scenery or a specific outdoor challenge.