I’ve never been a “joiner.”

I’ve never been a “joiner.”

I've never been a joiner | Modern Mrs Darcy

I’ve never been a “joiner” by nature. This is pretty common for introverts, who are comfortable working alone, and often prefer it.

There are advantages to not being a joiner: I’m not highly susceptible to Groupthink. I’m not paralyzed by the Fear of Missing Out. I don’t suffer from Instagram Envy or Pinterest Burnout.

But independence has its downsides, and joining is looking more attractive these days. (Maybe the cumulative effect of a few years of a rather isolated homeschooling lifestyle are getting to me?)

This year I’m pushing myself to be a joiner:

It started with Jane Austen. Since I dropped in on the Jane Austen Festival last summer, I’ve been thinking of investigating our local JASNA group. I decided to make attending a meeting one of my 2014 goals. It’s kind of a stretch (for an introvert), but I’m going–and I’m kind of hoping to love it.

I’d love to join–or maybe even start, if I can’t find one–a book club. I would especially love to find a Kid Lit book group.

I think it would be good for me to join–or at least visit–a homeschooling group. We’ve stayed out of communities and co-ops so far, but now that Silas is no longer napping during meeting times, we should check out our local options.

And this might be a pipe dream, but I would love to find or form a local writing group.

Four new things–or more, if I can think of any–in one year might kill me, but I think it’s time to join up. Introverts, I’m expecting you to understand. Extroverts, try not to roll your eyes too aggressively in my direction, pretty please?

Are YOU a joiner by nature? I would welcome any stories about what you joined, and why, and how it turned out–especially if the joining didn’t come easy!

And by all means, if you know of any groups in the Louisville area, please let me know!

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  1. Faigie says:

    I join to learn things. Which unfortunately often means, pay to join :). I’m not so into social groups which is funny because people think of me as a real extrovert but, I don’t need groups that much

  2. I may be a joiner, but maybe moreso a former. I’m a bit of an extrovert and I find that I will do more things if I can join a group of some kind. When I wanted to learn roller derby, I convinced four friends to do it with me. It was SO MUCH better than doing it by myself! I get discouraged when there is a felt need for something, like a Bible study, small group, or common interest group, but nobody makes a move, so i typically start those things because I want them to happen! I started a writers’ group, a blog-in night, and a Sunday night BBC watching time for women in Chicago. If anyone out there is close by, come join us!

  3. Mandie says:

    I sometimes join, but then get overwhelmed & quit!! Ok, not sometimes, usually! I did just join our local modern quilt guild last week! I’m hoping I stick with it!

  4. Kate says:

    Infj-not typically a joiner but I recently started running with a moms running group and I am amazed by how happy it makes me! I love the company, the distraction and the encouragement. That being said, I signed up and followed the posts on Facebook for a couple of months before I took the leap and actually ran with them. So glad I did!

  5. Extrovert here. Less of a joiner, more of a starter/leader. And I don’t do “team player” very well (prefer to manage people), I’d rather be in charge (and then I can burn out of being in charge of too much), so then I pull back from starting/leading and then I get bummed that I’m not active in enough things. I’m not leading too much right now though as we get ready for our hike.

  6. Pingback: My goals for 2014
  7. Shelley says:

    I am totally not a joiner! 🙂 We do things with a few close friends and thankfully our whole families are very close (fellow-homeschoolers), but otherwise I’m a huge homebody. I love being home, love our routine (even though we add outings and fun family fieldtrips occasionally). I enjoy one-on-one discussions with a close friend periodically, but I do not love groups and having to go places for events, go out at night on my own, have a full schedule with multiple activities…I don’t meld well with the go-go-go mentality that is so prevalent nowadays. My kids are in some selective activities that they enjoy and I’m fine with that, and we faithfully attend church, but that’s about it. My hubby and I also go to professional, local soccer games together, but as far as me joining a bunch of groups…no, not my thing. Great for others, but it drains me or stresses me out.

    I wanted to say that I’m new to your blog and LOVE it!! I’m so excited. We are a Christian homeschooling family and we all love to read, so your blog is right up our alley! Thank you…

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