Happy Valentine’s Day! There’s something for everyone here: single or coupled, happy or messed-up at the moment, new and old. Enjoy!
I’ve hated Valentine’s Day for a long time. It’s a cliche, I know. The single girl hating the Hallmark holiday. This past year I’ve intentionally appreciated the love already in my life, as inspired by this moving post from Tea. I know that I am very loved, even if my great romance hasn’t yet occurred. I am amazed by the wonderful people in my life. Love really is all around us (bonus points if you name the movie).
Something about Valentine’s Day makes me feel like friends and family aren’t enough compared to Mr. Right. It makes me angry that my mind and heart so easily forget. I don’t want to go down that tired road again this year.
In November, I was struck by an idea. My own way of redeeming Valentine’s Day…
He tiptoed into the house fifteen minutes later. He knew he’d missed the kids’ bedtime again, he knew his wife would be angry again, and he prepared himself for her steely silence. He hung up his coat andwalked into the kitchen. He saw his glass of wine, and his book, and his chair pulled out for him. He stood and stared for a moment, trying to understand.
It felt like she was speaking directly to him for the first time in a long, long while…
The last word: he said he was leaving. She ignored him.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum. No. He was in the grip of something else—a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. For four months.
Guys aren’t dumb, we just think and process things differently and perhaps on a more basic level. That’s why we look at ring fingers; because, especially in social mingling situations, we can’t always tell just by interacting with a woman if she’s with someone; unless of course she says something like, “I have a boyfriend.” 10 seconds after you start talking to her.
Excellent Books on Love & Marriage:
Henry Cloud, Boundaries in Marriage
Popular Posts from the Archives on Love & Marriage:
If you’ve read (or written) something fabulous about love recently, leave a link or recommendation in comments!