Womanly Skills

3 Time Management Rules I Wish I’d Learned 10 Years Ago

October 26, 2012 by Anne 27 Comments

I hate to say it, but when I manage my time well, it’s because I’m paying attention to the obvious. Sadly, I haven’t always been very good at noticing the obvious.

No doubt some of you mastered these time management tricks years ago. But I’m pretty sure some of you are right where I am–struggling to pay attention to the things right in front of your face. For you, I’m sharing my own personal time management reminders today.

They may be obvious to some, but it took me a whole decade to figure out these 3 rules. Hopefully, that means someone will find a shortcut today.

1. Do a reality check.

I believe in hoping for the best. But I’ve learned the hard way that I may want to stay up till 2 a.m. to finish my big project, or for my kids to skip their naps for fun plans, or to visit 5 different relatives on Christmas Day.

But I know from experience that I can’t stay up till 2; that no plans are fun with sleep-deprived kids, and that if I’m not exhausted by the second Christmas Day get-together, then I certainly will be by the third.

I’m trying to train myself to do a reality check before making plans. How are things really gonna shake out? I can’t always know, but I can come pretty close if I stop to think about it.

2. Time management is energy management.

For years, I thought time management was about time. So when I planned how to spend my time, I would look at my calendar and book up the vacant hours.

Those plans worked on paper–but I couldn’t follow through in real life. Because time management isn’t just about time: it’s also about energy.

These days, I’m paying attention to not only how much time events take up on my calendar, but how much–and what type of–energy they demand from me. I’m asking myself, how does this event affect me? Do I have the time I need to recharge? Can I maintain this schedule? If I can, will I even enjoy it?

I’m especially guilty of ignoring the Energy component during the holidays. I’ll pack in the activities–only to find myself too exhausted by the living of them to actually enjoy them.

3. Think 3 steps ahead.

Laura Vanderkam compares time management to chess. Master chess players don’t just think about their next move; they’re always looking three–or more–moves ahead. They anticipate outcomes and make contingency plans. That’s the only way to win.

I’ve been training myself to think ahead when I schedule my time. I’ve been deliberately thinking through possibilities and making contingency plans. Not for everything, of course. But I have been taking Laura’s words to heart: “if the stakes are high, it’s good to be in the habit.”

When it comes to logistics, I don’t think well on my feet. It’s enormously helpful for me to think through contingencies beforehand, instead of when I’m in the midst of a crisis.

Can you relate to my personal rules? What rules shape your personal time management?

photo credit

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Filed Under: Look & Feel Your Best, Reflections, Womanly Skills

Make It or Buy It? {A Handy Flowchart and Visual Guide}

September 5, 2012 by Anne 43 Comments

Recently I’ve been having two kinds of crafty thoughts.

After spending tons of time writing these past few months, I needed a therapeutic creative outlet. And I got it. I’ve been cooking and sewing and painting, and it’s been great.

But in addition to the here-and-now, the holidays are coming. Not for normal people, but for crafty ones–the ones who like to make their gifts–December is not that far away.

I don’t like to make gifts just for the sake of making them. I want them to be worth my time and trouble. But it’s hard for me to tell in advance which projects are going to be worthwhile, and which ones are going to give me headaches. Because if a handmade project is going to give me a headache, well–I’d rather just buy it.

With that in mind, I’ve created this handy flowchart that helps me decide whether a handmade project is likely to be worth it–or not.

Click here to download a printable flowchart.

Here’s a sampling of some of the projects I’ve made recently. Some were worth making; some weren’t. Let me tell you why.

1. My sister-in-law became a Mary Kay consultant last year, and I thought some fun makeup pouches would make a good gift. I used the zippered pouch tutorial in Bend the Rules Sewing as a jumping off point, and designed 3 customized make-up bags as a gift for her.

I was torn over whether this project was a “make” or a “buy.” Since I made 3, I decided it was worth making, because I was able to customize the colors and the sizes, save a little money, and put some extra heart into it. But if I only wanted to gift one pouch, I would say “buy” for sure. Verdict: Make (barely).

2. I thought this She Carries Flowers purse tutorial from Tea Rose Home sounded fun, but turned out to be a poor fit for my personality. I don’t enjoy fine detail work–and this project is full of it.

The good news? My grandmother loved the bag, which I made her as a gift. But it still wasn’t worth it. Verdict: Buy.

3./7. This is the “Flower Girl Dress” from Heather Ross’s excellent book Weekend Sewing. Make no mistake: girls’ dresses like this are cheaper to buy on a good sale at Old Navy or Target, when you can scoop them up for $8. I think the supplies on these dresses cost me $12.

But my girls and I had so much fun making these. They helped me choose the fabrics and cut out the pattern pieces; my 7-year-old even sewed some of the seams on hers. Sewing each dress took less than 2 hours, and now they have high-quality, custom creations–right down to the extra-long hems–that they had a hand in making. Verdict: Make.

4. I’m in love with this hooded towel and washcloth pattern from the Purl Bee. It’s a little more expensive to make this than to buy it–the supplies cost about $12, and you can pick up a hooded towel at Target for $10. But this set makes the sweetest baby gift, and it’s so much more special when it’s handmade.

We made the set pictured last week for the brand-new baby across the street (which is why it’s tied up with a bow in the picture above). It’s not hard to sew–it’s all straight lines–and it only takes 60-90 minutes start-to-finish. Verdict: Make.

5. I read about how to dye your own play silks on Simple Kids right before Christmas last year, and knew they would be a hit with my kids. I dyed some with food coloring and some with Kool-Aid packets; both methods turned out gorgeous play silks that my kids have been playing with regularly ever since. It was fun; it was easy. I was extremely happy with the results of this DIY experiment.

It wasn’t until last week–when we visited a new toy store in our town–that I realized just how much it costs to buy play silks. $15 a piece! I paid about $19 total to make 7 for my kids. Verdict: Make.

6. I stumbled across this tutorial for owl rice heating pads on Pinterest last year, and knew they would make excellent stocking stuffers for my kids, who have enjoyed sleeping with tube socks filled with rice for years.

These owl rice heating pads are charming. They’re fun to make and to give. You can make them from scraps, which means they’re inexpensive, too. I’ve never seen them in stores. And did I say charming? Verdict: Make.

Have you attempted a handmade project that turned out not to be worth making? What was it?

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Filed Under: Inspiration, Womanly Skills

Generational Trends and Unschooling for Grown-Ups

September 3, 2012 by Anne 22 Comments

Generational Trends Generation Z Homeschooling Unschooling Adults

This post originally ran on April 4, 2011.

I read with great interest Penelope Trunk’s recent blog post about generational trends and the rise of homeschooling. Homeschooling is going mainstream, she says, and it’s largely because parents of today’s school kids don’t want their kids in a broken public school system and don’t have $20,000 per child to shell out annually for private school tuition.

I have kids: I hear what she’s saying. We chose private school for our firstborn for a few years, but the prospect of putting multiple children through twelve years of private school was terrifying–so here we are, beginning our third year of homeschooling. Ten years ago I could not have imagined myself as a homeschooling mom–but here I am.

Penelope Trunk says our family is typical. My husband and I straddle Generation X and Generation Y; I definitely see myself in Trunk’s description of women (roughly) my age: “Gen X women are fine quitting their jobs to take care of their kids—they have no feminist ax to grind in the workplace.” We want to do the right thing for our kids and our families, we’re fine working outside the system–which means droves of us are choosing homeschooling.

Trunk’s area of expertise is career advice, and she thinks the homeschooling trend is a great thing for the workforce. These homeschooled kids–the ones born between 1995 and 2010–will be self-disciplined, self-directed learners. They will thrive in the workplace largely because their education is equipping them with the skills to find out what they need to know, when they need to know it. These kids–Trunk calls them Generation Z–know that “unschooling is not a movement for kids, but a way to live a life, and it doesn’t stop when you start getting a paycheck.”

Regardless of the (fascinating) generational issues, lifelong learning is a good thing. Are you a lifelong learner? What do you do to keep yourself growing and learning new things?

photo credit

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Filed Under: Books & Reading, Reflections, Womanly Skills Tagged With: Homeschooling

My Visual Vacation, and a Giveaway

July 29, 2012 by Anne

Remember how I told you I wanted to learn to use my iPhone camera before my family vacation? Well, I did–and we’re back! I spent the last week at the beach with my family, and I took tons of pictures using the tips and apps I learned about in the book.

Here’s what my family vacation looked like:

Like mother, like daughters

Jump!

How little boys play on the beach

Hey there, Mr. Crab

Sunset on the bay

Why I couldn’t sleep Thursday night

(I shared some of these photos last week on instagram. My user name is annebogel.)

After I told you about the iPhone Photography ebook last week, I was offered the opportunity to give away a copy to one lucky reader. To enter, leave a comment on this post telling me what you take the most pictures of.

You can buy the iPhone photography book here for the special introductory price of $5. Monday morning it will begin selling for the regular price of $9.97. The book has lots of tips and tricks that apply to any smart phone camera, but many of the recommended apps are only available for iPhone.

(Don’t worry: if you buy the book and then win the giveaway, I’ll refund your $5. Just email me your receipt at modern mrs darcy (at) gmail (dot) com.)

Giveaway ends Sunday midnight EST.

This promotion is open until Sunday, July 29, at 12:00 pm EST and is limited to those 18 years or older. The winner will be chosen randomly and notified via email. Please respond within 48 hours to claim your prize. This post will be updated with the beginning of the winner’s email addresses. This post contains my affiliate links. I bought my own copy of the iPhone photography ebook, but Allison Worthington Media is providing the giveaway copy.

What do you take the most pictures of?

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Filed Under: My Life, Relationships & Family, Womanly Skills

Cold Drinks for Hot Summer Days

May 28, 2012 by Anne 19 Comments

I’m taking Memorial Day off to enjoy some offline time with my family. Enjoy this post from the archives, which is perfect for a hot holiday weekend. (It’s supposed to be 93 where I am!) I’d love to hear what your favorite cold drinks are in the comments.

I don’t know about you, but it has been hot where I live this month. With the heat index firmly in 3-digit territory in much of the country and no relief in sight, I’m very grateful for air conditioning–and cold beverages.

Do you crave cold drinks when the temperatures soar? I sure do. These are my favorite drinks to beat the heat. Or, at least, to make it more tolerable.

Perfect Iced Coffee

I love iced coffee. My usual method is to brew a double espresso in my trusty AeroPress, dilute with just enough water to make a really strong Americano, and pour over ice. This method makes excellent iced coffee, and I highly recommend it.

However, this summer I discovered the Pioneer Woman’s recipe for Perfect Iced Coffee. She uses the cold-brew method, and I got very good results following her directions. But what really makes her recipe perfect is that you can brew up a big batch and have it at-the-ready in your fridge, just waiting to be poured over fresh ice.

Ree’s recipe makes 24 servings and keeps in the fridge for three weeks. But if you don’t need that much, the recipe halves or quarters easily and your results won’t suffer a bit.

15 Minute Iced Tea

I’ve been using Pam Anderson’s microwave iced tea recipe since I came across it in her CookSmart cookbook ten years ago. So I was beyond excited to see the tea recipe featured on her excellent blog last week with the added bonus of flavored tea variations: lime and mint, ginger, and (my personal favorite) orange and clove.

And truly, it takes 15 minutes from an empty pitcher to cold iced tea, and could not be any simpler. I use plain-old Lipton tea bags and my results are fantastic.

Sangria

This summer wine punch is excellent party fare. My recipe is inspired by the wonderful sangria at my local Cuban restaurant.

1 bottle red wine (I use Trader Joe’s two-buck chuck if I have any on hand)
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
1 lemon, sliced
1 orange, sliced
1 lime, sliced
1 tablespoon brandy
1 tablespoon triple sec
Sparkling water, to taste

Make a simple syrup by combining the sugar, water and the end fruit slices in a small saucepan and simmer until the sugar dissolved. Cool to room temperature.

Combine remaining sliced fruit, wine, brandy and triple sec in pitcher. When cool, add simple syrup mixture, including fruit slices.

Refrigerate for several hours to chill and allow flavors to meld.

Serve over ice, adding sparkling water to taste.

This recipe is very adaptable: feel free to go nuts with whatever fruits or juices you have on hand: sliced peaches, berries, pineapple juice and orange juice are especially good additions.

It’s easy to make a non-alcoholic sangria: substitute a combination of grape, apple, orange and cranberry juice for the wine, and proceed as directed. (My favorite combo is 3 cups grape juice, 1/2 cup orange juice, and 1/2 cup cranberry juice.)

Summer Spritzer

I’ve been drinking these simple spritzers on hot days ever since I first decided to kick the Diet Coke habit many years ago. They couldn’t be easier to make: pop open a can of sparkling water and flavor as desired. I find a simple spritzer flavored with a big hit of lime juice is most refreshing on a hot day, but the options are really endless.

Here are some variations to get you started; suggested portions are to add to 12 ounces of club soda or sparkling water:

1/4 cup cranberry juice and a squeeze of lime
1/4 cup orange juice and a squeeze of lemon
Freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
A shot of one of the numerous flavors of Italian syrup–peach, strawberry, lime, lemon, raspberry, pomegranate, cherry, black currant–and that’s just the beginning.

These drinks may not be enough to beat this unrelenting heat wave, but they’ll sure make it more tolerable. (And if you’re in Seattle, San Francisco, or some other pleasantly-climated locale, go ahead and enjoy a cold drink anyway. Those of us melting away won’t hold it against you.)

What’s your favorite drink for a hot summer day?

photo credits: iced coffee, iced tea, sangria, spritzer

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Filed Under: Food, Hospitality, Womanly Skills

What Do the Royal Wedding and the Bluegrass State Have in Common?

May 4, 2012 by Anne 15 Comments

This post originally ran on April 29, 2011, between the Royal Wedding and the Kentucky Derby. Will and Kate celebrated their anniversary last Sunday, and the Derby is running tomorrow, so let’s talk about hats one more time!

I’ve been to the Derby once–and of course I wore a hat! I’ll put a photo on the MMD facebook page for Derby Day tomorrow.

Answer: A love for millinery. It was announced in February that famed hatmaker Philip Treacy would be designing the hats for Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding day. The fashion world has been atwitter ever since wondering what Kate’s headwear would look like on her big day–the speculation being second only to the designer of her wedding gown.

Philip Treacy creations have also been filling boutiques all over Louisville, Kentucky this spring–as Louisville ladies and out-of-town guests prepare for that city’s annual Big Day–the Kentucky Derby, held on the first Saturday in May. If you’ve never been to the Derby–which has a rightful place on many bucket lists–make no mistake about the importance of the Kentucky Derby Hat.

Hats are not a modern accessory. The milliner’s shop is a historical exhibit in Colonial Williamsburg, not a store at your local mall: women don’t wear hats these days (unless, of course, they’re baseball caps).

And this, I believe, is the appeal of the Royal Wedding–and the Kentucky Derby.

In this age, when casual rules the day, irony is hip, and much of the solemnity has been drained from the ceremonies of life, we are drawn to the circumstance and solemnity of the royal wedding. We love to watch the royals don their hats–because royals still wear them! For a solemn occasion such as this, it’s inappropriate to be bareheaded in church. (Truly! It was even on the invitation!) And Philip Treacy is making sure those head-coverings are fabulous.

The Kentucky Derby is about much more than the horses. It’s about tradition and ceremony: 100,000 people singing My Old Kentucky Home, the bugle call to the races, the blanket of roses–and the hats. I’m a Louisville girl, so take it from me: a huge part of the fun is strolling the grounds between the races, taking in the scenery and gawking at the hats.

What is it about the hat? These fanciful creations serve no functional purpose. Says Treacy:

A hat is the ultimate glamour accessory. It’s been around since the beginning of time. It will always be around, in one form or another. And the whole purpose is to inspire people to think in terms of elegance and beauty.

Hats are about playing dress-up in real life. We may tune in to royal wedding coverage and vicariously experience the thrill of getting decked out for a special occasion. We may seize the opportunity to don our own hat for Derby Day. Either way, we recognize the importance (and fun!) of dressing for the occasion.

Do you like to dress up? Have you ever worn a hat for an important occasion? Have you been to the Kentucky Derby? Share your thoughts in comments!

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