Introducing Paper Gains: A Guide to Gifting Children Great Books from Modern Mrs Darcy

November 19, 2012 by Anne 63 Comments

Today I’m thrilled to introduce something new. It’s called Paper Gains: a Guide to Gifting Children Great Books from Modern Mrs Darcy. It’s meant to be a fantastic resource for any of you who have wee ones on your gift list this holiday season.

There’s an expression I’ve heard my dad say a hundred times: “paper gains, paper losses.” He likes to keep an eye on his investments, and as he watches their value rise and fall, he likes to remind me (and himself, I suspect) that you haven’t truly won or lost anything until you cash out.

This guide is called “Paper Gains” because you can’t lose with the books listed here. There are no losses. And these days, that’s a rare investment opportunity.

This guide will steer you towards good books for the young people on your gift list. It’s full of books that they’ll love reading–again and again. Books that will turn them into readers. (Hey, it’s full of books you’ll probably love, too!)

book guide modern mrs darcy children's christmas books

My budding writer is getting her very own copy of Emily of New Moon this Christmas, per the book guide here. Here she is clutching her library copy.

Categories include:

Books That Belong in Every Family’s Library
Series Kids Love (and Their Parents Love, Too)
Books for Young Creatives
Delightfully Silly Books
Books to Fire Young Imaginations
Books for Young Adventurers
Books for the Transportation-Obsessed
Books to Pour Over
and more information on gifting great books to your young reader!

This list certainly isn’t exhaustive–but it doesn’t have to be. Because once a kid develops a taste for good books, they’ll be able to find plenty more of them. The challenge is in learning to recognize what makes for a good book in the first place.

By reading great books, kids learn to recognize great literature. Help out a young reader by gifting them a good book this year.

Here’s wishing you–and the young readers in your lives–a very happy holiday.

Download the free guide here.

What’s your favorite book to gift to young readers?

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Filed Under: Books & Reading, Relationships & Family, Way With Words

The Future of the Internet

September 26, 2012 by Anne 24 Comments

As I told you before, my husband and I spent last weekend at Jon Acuff’s Quitter Conference. (It was great.)

In the post-conference Writer’s Workshop, Jon said that the heyday of New Blogs is over. The days when a new blog can garner overnight success–like his did–are through. The market is saturated, the competition fierce. The End.

Which leads one to wonder: where are things headed in the online sphere? My husband and I discussed this issue much of the way home. Here’s what we came up with (with some help from Jon).

1. The Internet is going Niche

When the blogosphere first blew up 5 years ago, there were a lot of blogs that appealed to everyone. That’s not true anymore.

More and more, blogs–and everything else online–are serving micro-demographics. Blogs are going niche. The successful blogs of the future won’t appeal to everyone–they can’t. They will appeal to tiny subsets of the population who are drawn together around a shared, uncommon interest.

Jon Acuff predicted (at the Quitter conference) that the future of the internet doesn’t lie in the way of Instagram. Instagram, he says, is a cul-de-sac. On Instagram, you follow people. You’re stuck following all of the photos from a person. You can’t follow certain interests or categories, and sharing is difficult.

The future of the internet will be a lot more like Pinterest. You don’t just follow people on Pinterest. You can follow specific boards, specific categories. You can customize. Pinterest is very niche, and sharing is simple. Sharing is the very idea behind Pinterest. In the future, the Pinterest model will be the norm online.

2. The Internet is going offline.

The internet will remain the internet, and the internet exists online. But in the future, real, live, in-person meetings brought about by the internet will become increasingly important.

The future of the internet? I humbly suggest to you that the future of the internet is offline.

The future of the internet consists of live events and in-person meetups. The internet will explode as a connector of people–not just digitally, but live-and-in-person.

In the future, we will use the internet to find our people–but once we’ve found them, we’ll continue those relationships in the 3d world. Because digital relationships are great, but trust is built in the real world.

Where do you think the internet is headed? Do you think my predictions are spot-on, or way off-base? Share your thoughts in comments!

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be delighted if you’d subscribe to my feed: in a reader or by email.

Filed Under: Books & Reading, Reflections, Way With Words

How to Grow Your Blog (While Having Fun and Staying True to Yourself)

August 17, 2012 by Anne 34 Comments

how to make friends online When I asked last month on the MMD facebook page what you all wanted to know about blogging, I got a lot of questions about growing your blog. Getting comments. Increasing pageviews.

I understand. When I began blogging, these questions were at the top of my list, too.

And it wasn’t because I cared a lot about numbers, or because I cared (much) what people thought. But I have found that the most satisfying aspect of blogging–for me and countless other bloggers-is the relationships formed online. And it’s hard to find relationships online if no one’s reading your blog. Personally, I’ve found blogging to be worthwhile for its own sake: I love the process of taking the thoughts out of my head and putting them down on paper (or a computer screen). But it’s the engagement that makes the whole thing sing.

So how do you get there?

I am not an expert. I’ve only been at this thing for a little over a year. But I can tell you what’s worked for me–and I’m confident that you can do it, too. In my experience, the key has been to…

Make friends online.

I’ve racked up 18 months or so of blogging wisdom–which isn’t a lot. But it’s long enough for me to know that the key to my personal blogging happiness has been the relationships I’ve built online. And I’ve made those relationships in 3 ways:

Comments

An easy way to make some friends online is to comment on other blogs. I know the common recommendation is to make friends with bloggers “in your niche,” but I didn’t think the niche I was aiming for was well-established when I started blogging. I wasn’t sure it even existed. So instead, I just committed to regularly reading–and commenting on–blogs I liked.

I didn’t really read blogs before I started blogging myself. Some of my first internet finds were Moxie Wife (f/k/a Betty Beguiles), Already Pretty, and Simple Mom’s network. I hung out on those established blogs as I was figuring out how this whole blogging thing worked, and I commented on them–regularly. I wasn’t expecting it, but I was thrilled when they all linked to me at about the same time. I remember how excited I was on those days! Those links–and the readers they sent over–gave me the traction I needed to establish a regular readership and consistent engagement: the things that make blogging worthwhile.

Carnivals

When I started blogging, I relied heavily on carnivals to drive traffic to my blog and build a readership. My favorites were the Works For Me Wednesday carnival hosted at We Are That Family and 7 Quick Takes hosted at Conversion Diary, because the readers were smart, literary-minded, and likely to enjoy my blog. I got tons of visitors from those carnivals, and many of them stuck around.

I’ve learned a few lessons about carnivals: a catchy title is important. Early linkers get more traffic. And blog-hoppers won’t come back unless the content is interesting. If you play by these rules, a good carnival can drive a lot of traffic to your blog–for the long-term.

Social Media

Social media can also drive lots of traffic to your blog. In my experience, facebook helps you connect with your readers, Pinterest brings in lots of browsers, and twitter helps you form new–and often lasting–relationships. I was a latecomer to Twitter: I only connected late last summer, and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed it. If you want to form new relationships, don’t wait: get yourself on twitter.

I know twitter can be overwhelming to new users, but it doesn’t need to be. Just set up an account and wade in slowly. Becky at Weaving Influence has created a 31 days of Twitter Tips Ebook, and she’s offering it for free during the month of August. I highly recommend you go pick up your free copy now, and work through it at your leisure.

Now that I’ve shared how I got started online, would you share how you got your start in comments?

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Filed Under: Books & Reading, Reflections, Way With Words

The 5 Rules That Shape Every Post I Write

August 1, 2012 by Anne 17 Comments

As promised, today is the first post in a short series on blogging. I’m not going to cover it all in this tiny series, but I will offer a few thoughts and answer a few questions. Thanks for reading!

Not long after I started blogging, I stumbled upon 5 rules that have shaped nearly every post I’ve written on Modern Mrs Darcy.

I got them from Sports Talk Radio.

Rule 1 (and 2): Have a Take. Don’t Suck.

My husband loves Jim Rome’s call-in sports talk radio show, which works–even to the ears of half-hearted sports fans like myself–because of the cardinal rule for callers he announces at the start of every show: “Have a take. Don’t suck.”

Why? Because if you don’t have a take, and you can’t express it well, it’s not worth saying on the air.

The same rule applies to blogging: it took me a while to believe this as a blogger, but people want to hear your take. When you’re sitting down to write a post, don’t run around the internet to see what other bloggers have said. Don’t repackage the experts’ opinions. Don’t give us bland, or wishy-washy. Give us you.

Readers are visiting your blog because they want your perspective. If you don’t have a take, you don’t have anything to write about. If you don’t have anything to write about, you don’t have a blog. Give us your take.

You don’t have to know the answer, or propose a solution, but you do have to have a take. And it has to be yours. You might have to voice an opinion, and people might disagree with you. Yeah, that can be scary, but that’s why I loved this advice from Jessica’s Guide to Beginner Blogging ebook: “Speak the truth in love, and let the hater cards fall where they may.”

Rules 3-5: Don’t be Unfunny, Uninspired, or Unreadable.

Jim Rome wraps up each show with the Triple U Text Contest. The winner gets … blocked.

The Triple U rules the blogosphere: if you consistently violate it, we–the readers–will unsubscribe, delete your bookmark, or just wander away. You don’t have to be funny, but don’t try–and fail. Don’t bore us.

And whatever you do, don’t be unreadable. Give us easy-to-read fonts and plenty of white space. Keep your paragraphs short. Keep most posts to 800 words or less (and many readers say they prefer 500). We’ll forgive a typo or two in a blog post, but not more than that.

These rules from sports talk radio have guided my blogging from (almost) the beginning. I was very conscious about following them for 9 months, running each post through the Sports Talk Radio Test before hitting “publish”–but now they’re internalized. I’m not saying every post is great, but I do know what I’m aiming for.

To be a better blogger, think about what you’re aiming for before you publish that next post.

Do your posts have to pass a test before you hit “publish?”

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As I mentioned above, Jessica of Bohemian Bowmans fame released a brand new Guide to Beginner Blogging today! According to Jessica, this ebook is for newbie bloggers:”this book will calm some of your fears, answer some of your questions, and help you get to the very heart of blogging one baby step at a time.” She provided me with a preview copy and I was impressed by her many nuggets of blogging wisdom. I’m an affiliate for the book.

I’ll be sharing some of my favorite posts about blogging on the MMD facebook page this week. To follow along, you can “like” the page here.

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Filed Under: Inspiration, Reflections, Way With Words

Thoughts on Community and Comments

July 2, 2012 by Anne 18 Comments

We’ve had some great conversations on the blog recently, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what I can do to facilitate the amazing discussions that are happening here.

A lot of it has to do with blog comments. I try hard to provide you with thoughtful posts, but that’s just the beginning of the conversation. It’s those comments left after each post that take the conversation to a whole new level.

Many of you subscribe via RSS and email–and I am so grateful to you for doing so!–but you can’t see the comments in your feed reader or your email. I would encourage you to click over to see the fabulous discussions happening here in the comments section.

Updates that make it easier for you to connect

I’ve upgraded a few things here to make it easier for you to interact in the comments section. You may have noticed that as of a few weeks ago, you receive an email notification whenever someone replies to a comment you’ve left here on Modern Mrs Darcy. That means that if you ask a question, you don’t have to come back to the blog to see if anyone replied to you–you’ll be automatically notified via email. And if you reply to someone else’s question (bless you!), know that they will receive your response.

But there’s more. If you want to keep tabs on a great discussion (like the ones we’ve had recently about having it all or the books we’re afraid to recommend) without constantly coming back to the blog, you can subscribe to the comments on any one post. You’ll be notified via email every time someone leaves a comment on that post. It’s easy to do: just check that little box you see below:

If you don’t want to comment yourself, but would like to see what other people are saying, you can subscribe to the comments without commenting. See up there where it says “subscribe without commenting?” If you click that link, it’ll take you to a page that looks like this:

That means that you can ask questions and provide input on Modern Mrs Darcy with confidence, knowing that your words aren’t going out into the void of the internet, but straight to the women who need to hear them. Together, we are such a rich resource of information and inspiration, and I encourage you to join in and join the conversation.

I love reading every single comment here. I respond to questions in the comments so that everyone can see the response. (Though occasionally if the issue is very personal or extremely specific, I’ll respond by email.)

And now for details: If you’d like to have one of those little pictures next to your comments, it’s really easy to do. That little picture is called a gravatar, and if you head over here you can get your own.

Truly, the best part about blogging is the community. Thanks so much for creating a smart, wise, and thoughtful community here at MMD.

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Filed Under: Etiquette, Way With Words

What Do You Want From Me?

May 7, 2012 by Anne 20 Comments

My old friend had a famous catchphrase.

If I complained that my baby wasn’t sleeping well, she’d say, “What are you looking for? Do you want problem solving or sympathy? Because I’ve got both in my toolkit.”

When another friend of ours mentioned that family drama was getting her down, this friend would say, “What do you need: a shoulder to cry on, or advice?”

At first my friend’s questions struck me as tactless: I wasn’t used to coming right out and saying what I wanted.

But my friend was sassy and fun: we all knew her heart was in the right place. And to my surprise, I found I appreciated her straightforward approach. She listened well and gave great advice–but only if you asked her for it.

My friend moved out of town years ago, but I always think about her when I’m talking with a friend and find myself wishing she would just tell me what she wants from me. Often, I just ask: “What are you looking for?” Sometimes straight out asking doesn’t seem appropriate, so instead of asking I just wonder what response she’s hoping for, and hope that I’m able to help.

Sometimes I’ll be talking to a friend and she’ll hint at bad news–and hint and hint. I’m not really sure if she wants me to ask what’s up, or if she’s veiling her meaning because she needs to keep it a secret. In moments like those, I wish she could just tell me what she’s looking for: does she need a little empathy, so she doesn’t feel like she’s struggling all alone? Does she need a shoulder to cry on, or advice? I could be a better friend if she’d just tell me what she wants.

Sometimes it’s easy to put my old friend’s conversational strategy into practice. My husband’s had a stressful season at work, and I recently realized that my reactions to his daily report might be fueling his stress instead of helping him. So, I asked him: when he comes home after a difficult day, what response would he like from me? He said to please just listen and say, “Golly, that sounds tough.” I’m glad I asked, because that is not what I’d been saying!

I’ll often frame conversations by starting with “I’m looking for advice” or “Listen to how hard my day was” so my listener knows what I’m looking for and can help me out. Sometimes, I’m not sure what I’m looking for when the conversation starts, and that’s when “help me think through this” are magic words.

When you’re talking with others, do you tell them what you’re looking for? Do you ask them what they’d like from you? Share your thoughts in comments.

Recommended Reading:

1 Good Reason to Gossip (and 5 Better Reasons Not To). According to researchers, hearing gossip helps us make savvy choices out in the real world–but is it worth it?

Pssst! A Secret About Secrets. Keeping secrets is bad for your health. Here’s why–and what to do about it.

“Talking” Etiquette: A Timeless Guide to Modern Technology. There’s been a lot of talk recently about the new lows in etiquette we’re reaching because of our cell phones. But cell phones aren’t to blame–they’re just tools, and whether or not they’re used well depends on the user. Here are some tips for using yours well.

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